Perfect Strangers
by Dr. Sexy M.D
Summary: AU, Wincest! John is dead and Dean is on his own. Dean has been having nightmares, flashes of memories that are haunting him. He goes to the bar to drown his sorrows and runs into a tall, dark and handsome stranger who just might turn out to be more to Dean than he ever thought possible. *They are brothers in this story, but don't know it at first. Rated M for a reason!
1. Chapter 1

AN: This is the new story idea. I had a couple people read it and they seemed to like it so I thought I'd post it and see how well it does. :) This is a story idea that I don't think I've ever seen...which is right up my alley :) I have a little bit of chapter 2 written. I hope to get more of it done soon, but I don't know how long it will take.

Warnings for this part: Language, M/M sex, Wincest

Characters: Sam, Dean, Jessica, Bobby (may be more down the road) - Only Sam and Dean in this chapter!

*Story title named after Deep Purple's "Perfect Strangers"

* * *

Perfect Strangers

Chapter 1

It was happening again.

It happened almost every single night since his father's passing.

Nightmares. Flashes of innocence amongst the horror. A light blue room. A crib. Whisper of a word on his lips…"Sammy…" Why was it always like this?

He tossed the covers off his dripping wet body and shivered at the immediate cold from the air conditioning. He made his way to the bathroom and turned the faucet on, so that he could splash some cold water on his face. He needed some clarity, needed for the nightmares to stop.

But, they never felt like nightmares. Deep down inside they felt like memories; memories from a past life that he'd long since buried. But, how was that possible?

Dean Winchester stared at himself in the mirror in that tiny motel bathroom. He didn't like what he saw. He was pale with huge baggy circles underneath his sunken eyes. He looked like death. He knew what death looked like. He'd faced it head on his entire life.

Life had been difficult for him, but it had been his life. He'd tried not to complain about not being able to stay in one school for more than a month, never making friends and never being able to have a steady girlfriend. No, he tried to put things into perspective. What he did was important; it saved lives. There wasn't time for him to feel sorry for himself, at least that's what John used to tell him anyway.

But, his father had gotten to live his life. He played sports in school, went to the prom, got married and had a son. He'd been able to experience things that Dean would never have. But still, he had come to terms with it when he was very young.

Dean jumped into the shower. He set the temperature to as hot as he could possibly stand. Pain kept him focused. Pain gave him clarity of mind. Pain was simple, it was what he knew. He scrubbed his skin raw. He was desperate to forget, but he wasn't even sure what it was that he was trying to forget. Whatever it was, it had to be something really bad.

Dean was left red and raw-skinned as he reached for a towel. He loved the roughness of the cheap motel towels against his inflamed skin. It was blissful torture. He groaned with the pain, knowing how much he needed it.

A quick inspection of the alarm clock on the rickety bedside table told him that it was only midnight. Shit. He'd only managed to get a little over an hour of sleep. He knew he needed more sleep, but if he slept he knew the nightmares would haunt him.

He determined that he needed a beer. Or ten. So, he slipped his gun in the waistband of his jeans, slipped his arms into his dad's old leather jacket and laced up his boots. He grabbed the keys to his beloved Impala and almost smiled. The most significant relationship Dean had left in his life was with that car.

He slipped behind the wheel of his car, tenderly stroking over the steering wheel. His treatment of the car was a stark contrast to the treatment he gave himself.

He was in Palo Alto. It was the city where his father had bitten the dust; the events surrounding that were still unclear. It was also home to Stanford University. He wasn't sure why he was still there. He didn't normally stay in one place longer than necessary. Part of it stemmed from the fact that he didn't want anyone to figure out who he was and what he did, but most of it was caused by the fact that he didn't know how to stay in one place for any length of time. But, Dean just couldn't bring himself to go anywhere. Where was he going to go? He didn't have a case and there was something about this place that was calling to him.

The nearest bar was about a five minute's drive from the motel. He pulled in and got out. He parked the car in the safest place he could think to park her and got out. He frowned when he walked inside and noticed how many college students were in there.

He didn't like college students typically. They were pompous and arrogant, especially these Ivy League types. They thought their shit didn't stink. But, none of them really knew anything about real life, about death and they certainly didn't know one fucking thing about what was really out there in the shadows.

Dean pushed his way to the bar and sat down, his hand slapping down on the bar to get the bartender's attention.

"What can I get you?" The curly redheaded dude asked him.

Dean did his best to smile; it was so foreign that he felt like his face might crack. "I don't care. Something strong. Gin and tonic, Scotch on the rocks, straight up vodka…surprise me."

The bartender raised an eyebrow at him and then went to work making him a drink of something. Dean couldn't care less what it was as long as it pushed aside the memories of those horrible nightmares.

The bartender brought him back some kind of really strong Whiskey and he tossed it back without even thinking about it. He slammed the glass down and grunted out "Another."

The bartender – his name tag said his name was Matt – didn't argue with him, just went to work pouring him another.

Someone sat down next to him at the bar, but he didn't pay them any attention. All he knew was that they were male.

"Here you go." Matt said.

Dean drained his second Whiskey and grunted. He didn't really care if everyone thought he was a caveman. All he cared about was the burning in his throat. He signaled for another and the bartender sighed.

Dean could feel eyes boring into him. He hated that feeling. With a snare firmly in place he turned to look at the guy who had just sat down and was now staring at him. "What?!" He barked.

The man backed away a bit. "Um…nothing."

"Mind your own fucking business!" Dean exclaimed.

The man put up his hand. "Excuse me for caring about your fucking health."

"Why the fuck would you care about me? You don't even know me." Dean gave the man an appraising look. He had to admit that the man was built like an ox. And he appeared to be incredibly tall. Dean swallowed whatever snarky thing he was about to say next, adjusting his collar instead. He was going to have to adjust his jeans too if the man didn't stop looking at him like that.

The man shrugged. "No reason I guess. Forget I even said anything."

But Dean couldn't forget. In fact, he was dangerously close to saying something highly inappropriate. Dean was well known around the world for being a ladies man; a fact that he was incredibly proud of. But, what people didn't know, was that every once in a while he preferred to help himself to a piece of beefcake. This dude definitely fit into this category.

Dean sighed, "I'm sorry. Just having a rough night."

The man nodded, "I can see that." He put out his hand, "Name's Sam by the way."

Dean took the man's hand in his own, letting his thumb stroke seductively over the man's palm, trying to send him a clear explicit message, "Dean."

The corners of Sam's mouth turned up in a smile. "Well Dean, I don't suppose you'd want to go to the restroom for…"

Before Sam had even finished his sentence Dean had hopped down from the bar stool and started tugging on Sam's arm. Sam quickly got to his feet. Dean looked back and swallowed hard. Shit. Sam was quite a bit bigger than him. He hoped that he didn't think that Dean was about to bottom. That was never going to happen. Dean was a top and proud of it.

Sam smiled. It was his turn to tug Dean, pulling him towards the men's room. He kicked the door open with his foot and watched as the other man finally got with the program and he pushed Dean against the inside of the door.

There was a lock. Sam locked it quickly, not wanting to be disturbed.

Dean looked up at him and Sam almost lost it. He had vibrant green eyes and the fucking longest damn lashes he'd ever seen on a man. The man was absolutely beautiful, but was clearly a little rough around the edges and seemed to have no idea he was as beautiful as he was. How was that possible?

There he was, pressed hard up against a bathroom door, held there by the force of Sam's surprisingly strong body. How had a civilian been able to overtake him like this? He wanted to know how this was possible, but all that managed to slip from his mouth was "You must work out." How pathetic.

Sam smiled that predatory smile again and pushed his groin more firmly against Dean's.

Dean found himself moaning without realizing he was doing it.

The kiss that followed moments later was deep, probing and dominating. Teeth smashed against teeth, tongues being used as a penetrative weapon into each other's mouths; both seeking for dominance.

But something happened. Just as quickly as the kiss had begun, they started to get into it and suddenly stopped keeping track of who was leading. It was no longer about dominance; it was about passion…the kind of passion that neither believed themselves capable of.

Dean pushed forward, his hands in the tangled mess of Sam's hair, and slipped the younger man face first against the wall. Dean tore at Sam's pants, opening the belt buckle, unzipping the jeans and dropping them down strong, lean and powerful thighs. His underwear followed immediately. He longed to touch, taste, lick the cock he knew would be well hung between the stranger's legs, but instead he focused primarily on the ass. He reached out to grasp, to massage those perky globes, pulling them apart slightly to gain teasing glimpses of the pink puckered hole that Dean knew would be tight. There was a primal growl that escaped Dean's lips upon seeing that hole and he marveled at the tightness. It was clear that this man had never taken anything into his ass in his life. "Hmm…you must normally be a top."

Sam's breathing was coming out in quick gasps. He was worried about what this man was going to do to him, but more than that he was worried about what he would let the man do to him. It took him a minute to process what Dean had just said and he let out a shaky breath and said, "Never been with a guy b-before."

Something inside of Dean – something he'd thought had died a long time ago – clenched inside of him. Could he really take from this man? Could he let this beautiful man's first time be in a bar bathroom with someone who couldn't and wouldn't stick around?

Sam could sense the change in the shorter man almost immediately. "D-Dean? What's wrong? Why aren't you doing anything?"

Dean shook his head, pushing the man away. "Can't." He started to leave, to make the right choice for once in his life.

Sam caught his arm before he could leave though. He caught him and pulled him back in, pressing his lips back to the pouty, pink lips of the kissable man. "I didn't say you could leave. We're not done here."

Dean gasped into Sam's mouth.

It was Sam's turn to shuck Dean out of his clothing. He nearly ripped Dean's button-down shirt apart as he worked at unbuttoning it. Then he placed his fingers just below the waistband of the man's jeans and tugged them down to the floor. Sam went down with the pants, shocked to discover that the man wasn't wearing any underwear. He smiled as he took in the glorious sight above him. Dean was naked except for his shirt and Sam could see the perkiness of his nipples, pebbled and standing at attention. They were begging for Sam's hands and mouth. But, the thing that caught Sam's eye first was that thick cock and heavy looking balls. Sam leaned forward. The smell that was radiating off Dean's body was intoxicating; it was like that of a siren's song.

That Sam had never been with a man was partially true. He'd never had anyone in his ass nor had he slipped it to anyone else. But, he'd fooled around as a teenager. He'd stroked other guys and he'd sucked other guys off. It had always been about experimenting or doing something baddirtywrong. It wasn't like what he was feeling now; like he had to have that cock or he'd die.

Sam's tongue came out and his face moved into the space between Dean's dick and his balls. He used his tongue to lick a wide stripe from the base of that hard, thick cock all the way up to the head. Once at the head, he licked over the opening and collected the precome that was oozing. Then he slid back down to the base and repeated the lollipop licking a couple more times.

Dean moaned wantonly. He wanted more than the licking his cock was receiving. He wanted his cock buried deep in that sinfully hot mouth or in that tight ass.

Sam smiled as he licked over one of Dean's big balls, pulling it into his mouth. He could feel Dean's legs shake and he pushed him harder against the wall to keep him upright. With heavy lidded, drunk eyes he looked up at the other man, noticing the slack in his jaw and the way his head was shaking from side to side. He knew this wasn't going to take long once he really got started. He pulled the other testicle into his mouth and gave it the same treatment he'd given the first, his fingers threaded in the soft red and blonde pubic hair.

Dean's body was so strung out he wasn't able to put any coherent thoughts together. He couldn't remember a time in his life when he'd been this hard, this desperate. Usually he grabbed a girl or a guy, kissed them a little bit, worked them open and stuck his dick in. He'd never really experienced this kind of undivided attention before. He wanted to protest, wanted to take control away from the tall, dark and handsome stranger, but he somehow couldn't find it in him.

When Sam finally wrapped his lips around the head of Dean's cock, Dean's body was tense and wound tightly. Sam slowly slid his mouth further and further down on that cock, looking up at Dean so that he could watch his face. He loved the way the man's face reflected the surprise of Sam's abilities and the evidence of his passion.

Sam took a good half of Dean's cock into his mouth and then pulled off.

A sob escaped. He didn't want the man to stop, but Sam had other ideas.

Sam turned Dean around to get to his perfectly shaped ass. He pulled the cheeks apart and noticed how, he too, appeared to be tight as hell. "Hmm…you ever bottomed before, Dean?"

Dean shook his head.

Sam bent down to circle his tongue around that opening. "You wanna change that?"

If Dean had been thinking with his upstairs brain he'd have told him to fuck off and go find some little twink he could overpower and fuck the shit out of. Dean was not that kind of person. But all he could do was moan in a lust filled haze.

Sam pressed his tongue against the opening, feeling it very slowly open up for him. He'd never thought that eating a guy's ass out could be so erotic for him. He'd also never thought he'd be this gentle with another man either. He wasn't a real gentle person as it was, but he had been able to muster up some of it for his girlfriends.

Sam thinned out his tongue and managed to slip it all the way inside, using its flexibility to stroke over the spot inside of him that he knew would make the shorter man writhe and beg. Once he had him right where he wanted him, he slipped a couple fingers inside him…one at a time. He kept this tongue working over that ass, kept trying to distract him with the wet muscular organ.

Dean was mumbling incoherent phrases, shaking and writhing. He had no idea that it could feel this good. But, he planned on feeling this again, even if he had to buy a fucking dildo and do it to himself.

Sam's fingers were still in Dean's ass and his mouth was by Dean's ear as he asked, "Do you have a condom?"

Dean nodded. "J-jeans." He could barely think straight.

Sam nodded and dropped to his knees again to fish the foil packet out of one of Dean's pockets. He pulled it out and had to smirk. It was a Magnum. He rolled his eyes. "Well, I guess you were thinking of me when you bought these."

Dean's mind couldn't register the joke there. He just whined and tried to fuck against the wall with the steel rod he was sporting.

Sam ripped open the package and quickly fisted the condom onto his dick. Then he pushed forward, and pressed Dean face more firmly against the wall, his arm wrapped around the shorter man's waist to push his ass out more. Sam spit in the vicinity of Dean's ass, wishing he had lube, and then started to press himself inside.

Dean hissed. He'd enjoyed the stretching for the most part, enjoyed having Sam's fingers and tongue in his ass, but he wasn't at all prepared for the painful burning he got from that monster dick.

Sam placed little bites over Dean's back and shoulders, marking him. His hand captured Dean's softening cock in his hand. He needed to distract him, needed him to get back into the mood. "Relax. Just relax." Sam whispered against Dean's ear. "It'll feel better if you stay calm."

Dean nodded, trying to do as he was told. He wanted to be good, do what he was told. He was a good soldier; he followed orders to the letter. And there was a part of him that relished in the pain, even if he couldn't get the memo to his dick. But, his desire for pain was never for sexual gratification, it was merely a mental ploy to punish himself and clear his mind of whatever crap was bothering him.

He'd wanted a distraction from the nightmares and he was getting just that. He was getting his ass split apart by a giant just to numb the pain of a loss that he didn't understand.

Sam slowed to a stop. He could feel Dean's mind check out on him. He wanted Dean with him, needed him to get something out of this or it wasn't going to work for him. Sam loved, more than anything, to hear and see other people's pleasure. He slid his hand up to Dean's heart and noticed the way it was beating. He kissed softly over Dean's neck and earlobe. "Shhh. I don't want to hurt you. I want to make you feel good. Wanna take you out of your own head." He didn't know why he'd said that, but it just seemed right. Sam was pretty good at reading people, but he usually had to get to know them better first.

Dean allowed himself to relax. There wasn't any other option other than being hurt in a way he wasn't comfortable with. He took a deep breath and tried to force his body to relax.

Sam's hands soothed over his chest and down to his washboard stomach and then back up. He tweaked Dean's nipples and earned himself a breathy moan in response. That was more like it. He found himself hardening again, fully sheathed inside of Dean's tight ass. One hand continued to stimulate those perky nipples while the other reached down to wrap around his cock and stroke him to full hardness once again.

Sam slowly began to fuck Dean once again. He made sure to take his time and to try and hit that spot inside of Dean that would make this better for both of them.

"Oh yeah." Dean muttered. He was glad he'd willed himself relaxed. He was glad he hadn't had to stop. He was thoroughly enjoying the feel of Sam's hard cock deep inside of him, now that he knew how it could feel.

"That's it Dean. You like that?" Sam husked by Dean's ear, biting and nibbling.

Dean groaned as he pushed back against that cock, burying it deeper within himself. He fucked himself on that cock, while pushing into Sam's hand with the forward thrust.

Dean only held out for another couple of minutes before he began to spasm and convulse, shooting his load onto the door of that stupid bathroom. Sam's eyes rolled back into his head and he pounded Dean forcefully for a couple more thrusts and then came into the condom with a shout.

Sam waited until he was soft to slip out of Dean's ass. He tied up the end of the condom and tossed it into the trash. Then pulled up his pants and fastened them.

Dean put his clothes back on too. He stood there looking at Sam for a minute.

Sam smiled. "That was fun." He said.

Dean nodded, "Yeah." Real smooth, Dean.

Sam leaned forward and kissed the shorter man softly. His hand slid down Dean's arm until he reached Dean's hand. He threaded his fingers with Dean's. "Hey, let's go get a couple more drinks."

Dean just nodded as he looked down at their entwined hands with bewilderment. What the heck did that mean? First he'd let this man take over control of his body and fuck his ass and then he let him hold his fucking hand…huh. He didn't want to think about it so he just focused on getting his hands on some more Whiskey.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Sorry this has taken a while. Last week was insanely busy for me and then everything happened with Double Trouble and I had so many people to send messages to and everything. Anyway, I finally got this chapter finished. I hope you like it. We learn a lot about where Sam was Dean's entire life.

Also, now that my account has been un-frozen I hope to update more often. :)

* * *

Chapter 2

It was very early in the morning when Sam finally made it into his bed. In fact, the sun was already coming up. He slipped under the covers and tried not to shake the bed too much as he got himself comfortable.

He heard movement to his left and groaned on the inside. He had hoped he'd be able to at least get a couple hours of sleep before the onslaught began.

"Where have you been?" She asked.

Sam sighed, "I told you I was going out to the bar."

"Well, you didn't tell me you were going to stay out all night."

"I'm sorry. I lost track of time." It wasn't because of the fact that it was a bar. He hardly had three beers the whole night. The problem was the handsome stranger he'd bedded. He had found it difficult to leave him and go home.

"Don't bars close?"

Sam shrugged, "Yeah, but I was hungry."

"So you went out for a three hour breakfast?"

Sam sighed, "Jess, I'm tired. I just got home and I want to sleep. Can you wait until after I get a few hours in to give me the third degree?"

She gaped at him. It was like she didn't even know him anymore. "Fine." She muttered, "But this isn't over."

He hadn't suspected that it was. Their relationship had gone from bad to worse lately. They hardly spent any time together and, quite frankly, he hadn't really wanted to. He knew that he would be doing them both a favor by cutting the apron strings, but they'd been together for nearly three years. He wasn't entirely sure he was ready to be alone again.

Sam had spent his entire life pretty much alone, for all intents and purposes. The other people around him hadn't mattered. They weren't family, they weren't friends…they weren't even doctors. They were wardens. They had been watching and waiting for him to do something to fuck up.

Sam wished everyday that he had a real family. He figured that somewhere out there he had to have parents. There had to be someone out there who had abandoned him to that place…the only home he'd ever known.

He'd had it better than most though. He had looks and charm on his side, whereas many of the other children had cracked quickly. Sam had been able to win over some of the staff, even convinced a few of them that he was a good kid, despite the apparent evilness that was in him. Or so they said. He didn't really believe that he was evil, but there were only so many times a person could be called a monster before doubt started to creep in.

He'd been there since he was six months old. The only information that he'd ever been able to get out of them was that something bad had happened in his nursery on his when he turned exactly six months old. He figured it had to be something really bad for him to end up at an orphanage for evil children.

When he turned eighteen he was granted his freedom. He was informed that they could no longer hold him there against his will. He was welcome to stay there as long as he wanted, but they couldn't force him to stay. He'd bolted. He decided that he finally had a chance to have a normal life and he would be damned if he wasn't going to at least try it out.

Some of the other children had been forced to be taught on the grounds. They brought tutors in for those kids. But, Sam was one of the few special ones; he had been allowed to attend public school with the normal kids. He wasn't sure why they allowed it if he was such a danger to society, but he wasn't about to ask around. He enjoyed the minimal freedom that his schooling provided. To his handlers' surprise, Sam was an excellent student. He had shined in his classes. Because of his dutiful hard work he was awarded with a full ride to Stanford University. He'd chosen law for his future career because he felt in his gut, that there needed to be someone out there to fight for kids like him. What they'd done to them at the institution had been wrong on so many levels.

Institution was the right word for the place. There was no other way to describe the cold sterility of the placed he'd considered 'home' than that word. Every room had bright white walls. There were bars on almost all the windows and guards throughout the building in case someone got out of hand. He'd only witnessed two kids, in his entire eighteen years there, who had ever gone completely rogue. Some tried to break out and some became aggressive, but most drew inside of themselves. He had been one of the few who had simply tried to endure the situation to the best of his abilities.

He had to admit that his time in there was relatively tame compared to some. He'd heard about some of the tests that had been done on some of the students. He'd also heard screaming coming from one of the two corridors that they were never supposed to enter. But, he never said a word. He didn't want to cause problems, didn't want to start something he couldn't finish. He knew the best thing he could do was be the best behaved, most normal kid in the place. It had serious advantages. Like personal space. By the time he was fifteen he was awarded a private bedroom.

He was even allowed to attend the prom. He rented a tuxedo, bought a wrist corsage and took Abigail Somers. It had been in May of his senior year and the theme was 'Under the Sea.' Of course he had a personal chaperone for the entire dance, but he managed to score his first kiss. It was slim pickings around the institution. Most of the other kids in there were either other guys or crazy girls. But, as it turned out, he clearly had a bit of a taste for members of the same sex.

A smile formed on his face. He turned onto his side and tried to hide it from his girlfriend. He didn't want Jessica to know that he was even conscious enough to be thinking about someone else, let alone letting fantasies of the evening swarm his mind.

He finally drifted off to sleep with a hope and prayer on his lips that he would have a dreamless sleep, one where the monsters stayed away. To his surprise, he did have dreams, but they weren't horrible nightmares of shadows chasing him, but of a much happier variety. In Sam's dreams he found himself sharing his day to day life with that beautiful stranger from the bar. Dean. He knew, in his heart, that there was something special about this man; something that could change his world forever.

* * *

Dean woke with a serious pounding in his head and an ache in his ass. He was both surprised and relieved to discover that he hadn't remembered having that horrible nightmare again. Clearly alcohol and sex were the keys to his problems.

He drank some water and swallowed down a couple aspirins for the headache and then went to the bathroom. He took his morning pee and washed his hands. As he was standing in front of the mirror he got a good look at himself.

As he stood there, staring at his face, he was surprised when a smile broke out. It wasn't one of those fake smiles that he flashed the easy women that he took to bed, or the ones he would give to his father when he pretended to care about killing the monsters. No, this was a real, genuine kiss. He couldn't remember the last time he'd truly smiled. His fingers raced to his lips, tracing that smile. It reminded him of Sam's searing kiss. Sam…

He was stunned. He couldn't believe the effect the man had on him.

_"God, Dean." Sam had said, once they were seated back at the bar. "I hope you don't think I do this all the time."_

_ Dean smirked. "So you don't make a habit of fucking random men in the bathrooms of bars?" He was joking, obviously. If Sam had a list of all the random people Dean had ever banged he'd have gone running for the hills._

_ Sam shook his head, "Nah. This is actually a first for me."_

_ "Oh yeah?" Dean studied his new friends' face and actually believed him. "Why me?"_

_ Sam shrugged, "I don't know. I guess I have a thing for freckles."_

_ Dean's eyes lowered, "I don't have freckles."_

_ One side of Sam's mouth quirked up and he leaned closer to the subject of his undivided attention and said, "Yes you do. I remember licking a trail over the ones on your back."_

_ To both of their surprise, Dean turned a few shades of red. He looked around, as if suddenly self-conscious._

_ "You're incredibly sexy when you blush. Not that you aren't sexy the rest of the time."_

_ "Dude, you already got me to take it up the ass…something that I never do…you don't need to start sweet talking me now." There was a laugh in Dean's voice._

_ It made Sam smile harder. "I'm not. Just being honest."_

_ Dean stared at that mouth of his. He really, really wanted to lean forward and capture his lips in another probing kiss, but he didn't dare. Now that the act was over he wasn't sure what was acceptable and what wasn't. Besides that, there were a lot of people around._

_ It was as if Sam could sense exactly what it was that Dean wanted. So, he wrapped his hand around the back of Dean's neck and pulled him in for a kiss. Before he could even get his tongue inside, they were being removed from the bar by some big, hairy homophobes. _

_ They looked at each other for a minute before they burst into laughter._

_ "You want to go somewhere else for a while?" Sam asked._

_ "You got a place?" Dean asked. He might be up for round two pretty soon…especially if it meant that he got to take Sam's ass this time._

_ Sam nodded, "Yeah, but we can't go there."_

_ Dean's eyebrow rose. "Got a boyfriend at home?" He wasn't judging, just curious. "Because, if you do then I understand…"_

_ Sam shook his head, "No. I've got a girlfriend at home."_

_ "Oh." Dean said, his eyes widening. "You're a pinch hitter?"_

_ "You could put it that way." He wasn't about to tell Dean that, aside from a couple messed up other boys at the 'home' that he was a first for him. He didn't need to freak him out._

_ Dean nodded, "Me too."_

_ Sam smiled harder. Glad to know that he was in the pleasant company of a fellow bisexual. "You got a girlfriend by any chance?"_

_ Dean shook his head, "Nah. I move around a lot. It's hard to establish a relationship with anyone."_

_ "What do you do?"_

_ Dean swallowed hard. Here it was. The question he couldn't answer. "A little of this and that." He pointed in the direction of his car, "Hey, you want a ride somewhere?"_

_ Sam grinned, "I know a place we could go."_

_ Dean smiled back, he couldn't help it. Sam's smile was contagious. And, that's how they found themselves at the last place in the entire world that Dean ever thought he'd be…a gay bar. _

The sound of his Smoke on the Water ringtone brought him back to the reality of the situation; Dean wasn't ever going to get a chance at any sort of lasting happiness, not while he was in this business. "Hi Bobby." Dean said. He forced himself to hold in the sigh that nearly escaped.

Bobby was calling for a job. Of course. Dean wasn't going to be able to hang around Stanford any longer. And, he wasn't going to be able to have an excuse to run into Sam again. He was disappointed, but then realized that it was probably for the best. They could never be more than two ships passing in the night anyway, so there was no point in dwelling on what might've been.

"Okay. Thanks Bobby." Dean said as he ended the call. Bobby had a potential lead on the yellow eyed demon that had killed his mother. Seems there'd been some sort of sighting in Texas.

It was funny when Dean thought about it. He knew that he should remember that night she died, but he couldn't. He didn't know why. Maybe it was the intense grief of the situation. Maybe he was blocking it out. Or it was because he'd been so young.

Dean shrugged into the mirror and sighed. He quickly turned the water on in the shower, letting it get to temperature before stepping foot inside. He needed the shower for hygiene, but also to help wake him up for his drive. On top of that, it seemed to help with the lingering effects of the last evening's bender.

The water was warm and soothing on his aching body. He hadn't expected that he would be quite as sore as he was. He washed up as quickly as possible, dried off, brushed his teeth and then turned off the bathroom light and went back to the main part of the room so that he could get dressed and pack up his stuff.

He was headed to Austin. It was going to be a very long trip. It would take him over a day's worth of continuous driving to get there. He was definitely going to have to stop somewhere and get a room for the night.

Dean packed up the car with a sigh. For the first time in his life he'd felt something that he didn't understand. He hadn't picked up some easy girl or guy and fucked their brains out…he'd gotten his brains fucked out. It was intensely perplexing. And, even more perplexing was the way they'd spent the rest of the night together…talking, laughing, touching, dancing… There was something completely unnerving about that man. Dean didn't know why he had allowed him to get under his skin like that.

* * *

Sam woke up five hours later. It was afternoon. He hated it when he slept half the day away, but what was he supposed to do? He had a paper to write and a few chapters in a book to read and he didn't care to do either one.

He loved school, it helped keep his mind off all the crap that had been flung his way his entire life, and gave him something to feel good about. But, at that moment in time all he wanted to do was head back to that bar and hope and pray that Dean was there. He couldn't seem to get the man out of his head.

The image of that dirty blonde hair, those bright green eyes framed by long eyelashes, those chiseled features…those freckles…they were going to haunt him forever. And then there was that ass… Dean had the most gorgeous ass that Sam had ever seen or had the pleasure to get his hands on. He couldn't believe that a man like that had wanted him, had let him have him like that. What a gift he'd been given. He knew it was something he'd never forget.

Jessica walked in with a mug of coffee and set it on the bedside table. She looked at Sam, studying him. "You don't look so hot."

Sam shrugged, "Just tired." Staying out all night can do that to a person.

"That's shocking." She said, her voice laced with sarcasm.

Sam sighed. "Okay, what did you want to say to me?"

"I just…I don't understand what's been up with you lately." He had been the sweetest guy in the world when she first met him. Sure, he'd been a little rough around the edges. And he was secretive. She suspected that he was hiding some things about his past that he hadn't wanted her to know. But, the way he treated her had spoken for itself. He was a gentleman. He was a good guy. He was someone that she could trust not to hurt her. He was also the last person in the whole world that she would think would ever cheat.

Things had been headed south between them for a while. He didn't know when it happened, but it had. "I don't know, Jess. I guess things just haven't been the same lately."

She sat down on the bed beside him. "I've noticed that, Sam." He'd become distant, started acting funny and had been spending a lot more time out of the apartment. He'd also started to let his schoolwork suffer a bit, which was the biggest sign she had. If Sam did nothing else, he continued to work extremely hard on his class work.

She ran her hands over her thighs as if she was nervous, "Is it me? Are you tired of me?" This was her biggest fear.

Jessica had always been a beautiful girl. Beautiful girls usually had many suitors and unlimited possibilities in life, but she was one of the exceptions. She'd found herself in a string of bad relationships that had left her with a bitter taste in her mouth. At first, she hadn't even wanted to give Sam a second thought. She'd wanted to admire his looks from afar and call that good, but he'd somehow managed to sneak his way into her heart and life.

Sam wasn't sure what to say or do. How could he look at her face and tell her the honest truth? How could he tell her that he'd started sleeping around…that he'd felt something that he hadn't felt with her in a long while, if ever? But, that wasn't even the worst of it…at least to him anyway. There was so much more that he was hiding from her. Maybe he really was a monster.

"Is there someone else?" She asked. She had to know.

Yes. No. Maybe. He wasn't sure. He didn't even know if he'd ever see Dean again. "No, Jess" he lied, "there's no one but you."

"Okay." She said. "Well, I guess I just don't understand then. Should I be worried about this?"

He shrugged, "I don't know. There's just a lot on my mind. School's been really stressful and everything…I'm sure it's nothing. I'm just in a funk right now." School wasn't the only thing that was stressing him the hell out, but he wasn't about to start bringing that shit up. She'd only think he was crazy. Besides, it would solidify to himself that he was messed up. He didn't want to be a monster, didn't want to be different. He'd fought his whole life to prove to people that he was just Sam, just a good kid who had been wrongly labeled a freak, a monster.

"Please Sam." She whispered, "I don't want to break up. I want us to be together forever." She had hopes and dreams of becoming Mrs. Sam Winchester. She wanted her white picket fence, two story house and 2.5 kids. She wanted it all.

He shook his head, "I don't either." He didn't. She was his chance at normalcy and he wasn't going to fuck that up over some guy he'd met at the bar and stuck his dick into. Sure, it had meant more to him than that. It'd been a lot more special that he had any right for it to be, but there wasn't anything else he could do about that. Dean. Dean came flooding back into his mind again and he had to force back a smile. It was weird that something so fleeting could have such an impact. But, he didn't even know the man's last name. Why hadn't he asked Dean what his last name was?


	3. Chapter 3

AN: This story takes longer to write than some of my others, but I think it's worth the work. I hope you guys feel the same way! :)

*For any of you who are interested, I will probably have Double Trouble posted on sinful-desire dot org by tomorrow night. :)

* * *

Chapter 3

Sam woke in a cold sweat. It was happening again.

He'd only had this dream once before, but it had felt different. He was prone to nightmares. Given the childhood he'd had, it was kind of expected. But, this dream…it felt a lot different. None of it made sense to him.

_He was in a room…a nursery. Someone was there with him. The man seemed scary; it just felt wrong. There seemed to be evil exuding from the man standing above the crib. Something happened, but he couldn't remember what it was. _

_ The next thing he remembered was a woman. She was blonde and beautiful, all dressed in white. She recognized the man, who was standing over the crib, and suddenly she was being hurt. As her body slid up the wall to the ceiling, something in Sam's conscious mind was affected. He felt something that he couldn't explain. Why was this happening?_

_ The dream went on. The woman was burning…and then there was another man. The man screamed and cried out as the room started to catch fire. He reached for the baby, handing him to a small fair-haired little boy. _

_ "Take your brother outside as fast as you can! Don't look back! Now Dean, go!" The man exclaimed._

Sam tried desperately to get his breathing under control. The last thing he wanted to do was wake Jessica. She was starting to question his sanity as it was. She knew he had nightmares, it was hard to hide that from her, but this…this was just epically messed up.

But, the rational side of his brain tried to come up with some answers. He'd been thinking a lot about his family and what must've happened when he was six months old…maybe he'd seen something crazy on television and stuff had merged in his mind. And then there was the whole Dean thing. Clearly his subconscious had casted Dean in the hero role in his mind…even if it was really strange to think of Dean as a child.

In a nutshell, he knew none of it meant anything. So, why did he feel so strange? Why were goose bumps forming on his arms? Why were the hairs on the back of his neck standing up?

* * *

Dean woke up in another rundown motel, his t-shirt sticking to his sweaty body. He sighed. How many times could he have this stupid nightmare? He didn't understand what it meant. But, each time he had it things seemed more vibrant, more details became clear.

He now knew that the dream had to be about the night that his mother died. This was the night he hadn't remembered for his entire life. Why was he getting flashes of it now? And then there was the question of whether any of it was actually real?

But, it couldn't be real. It couldn't. If it were real then he had more questions than answers. The biggest one of all being why there was a baby there and why his father had told him to take that baby and run. Had John called him his brother? Huh? But, Dean didn't have a brother. He would know if he had a brother. He could never have forgotten a brother.

No, this was just something his messed up mind was putting together to torture him. It wasn't bad enough that he had to chase down monsters, had one foot in the grave every fucking day, but his own stupid mind had to start betraying him. Maybe he was losing it. Maybe he was going over the deep end. Hell, it wouldn't surprise him after all that he'd seen.

Dean had arrived in Texas the previous evening. He'd done everything that Bobby had told him to do. He'd gone to the victim's house and talked with the husband. He'd been distraught, obviously, and had explained that he'd had no idea why his wife had burned up on the ceiling of their child's bedroom.

Dean had been floored. It was the same thing as the nightmare. How was that even possible? Maybe the whole world was dicking with him.

It had obviously been a demon. The house reeked of sulfur. He wondered how the husband hadn't noticed this, but then he was probably too busy grieving his dead wife to notice.

Unfortunately the demon appeared to have disappeared. He had no idea what the demon had looked like and all omens had stopped the second that Dean arrived in town.

Maybe the yellow eyed demon was toying with him. That was the only plausible thing he could come up with. Either way, there wasn't anything else that Dean could do. So, he'd holed himself in a rundown motel and tried to sleep. Unfortunately, he never could manage to get any sort of peaceful sleep.

It was something akin to being haunted and it was really making Dean's life more difficult than it already was. He knew he needed answers, needed to start seeking out someone who might be able to do something, but instead he set his sights on finding yellow eyes and getting the revenge that his dad had been seeking for almost the entirety of Dean's life. After all, it was yellow eyes who had killed his mother. It was because of him that his dad had gotten into hunting in the first place. Yellow eyes was the reason why he was never allowed a normal life. This was his father's mission in life, he'd made that quite clear. But, his father was gone now. So, didn't he owe both of his parents this? This was his fight now, wasn't it?

Dean knew he was a mess, but what else could he do? Was he just supposed to check himself into a mental hospital for the rest of his life? Or should he put his own gun in his mouth and do the unthinkable?

* * *

It had only been two days since Sam had picked Dean up at that bar, but it felt like a lifetime. He'd settled back into his old lonely routine with Jessica and his school work. He'd never seen Dean again, but he'd known that was going to happen. Dean had made it clear to him that he was the drifter type, he didn't do relationships. But, if he did would Sam even want one? He'd always told himself that what he wanted was pretty much what he had. He'd spent so much of his life being a freak that he just wanted some normalcy. There wasn't anything wrong with that, was there?

But lately it had become harder and harder for Sam to blend in to the woodwork. First of all, he'd been getting these headaches. Then there were the weirdo dreams and now…it was getting a lot worse.

He was sitting in the living room. He had a text book and notebook strewn out on the coffee table and he was trying to study. He kept getting distracted by the pounding in his head. Lately he'd been plagued with weird migraines where he could swear he could see things…things that didn't make any sense.

This time it was worse…a lot worse. It was like his mind went elsewhere. With his mind's eye he could see Jessica…Jessica burning on their bedroom ceiling.

And then, just like that, he was back in the present, his nose bleeding and his head pounding. What the hell? What was it with people burning on ceilings lately? It was all too much to take in. And why Jessica?

If his head wasn't already throbbing it'd have started hurting just from him trying to sort everything out. None of it made any sense. But, he figured that this…whatever the hell it was…had to have something to do with the weird dreams. There was no way that it meant anything real. His mind was playing tricks on him again. It was really unnerving though; it was almost like he was really seeing it happen; almost like it was real.

But, then again, the dream had felt pretty damn real too. And that was the biggest fucking problem. He had no idea what was even real anymore. He was a mess. Maybe he should pack up his shit and take off in the middle of the night. Maybe he should give Jessica an out. She deserved better than him. She deserved it all and he just felt too fucked up to give her what she really wanted.

He couldn't help but think about the fact that he was supposedly evil. What if this whole thing was him going crazy…turning into the monster that he was supposed to be?

* * *

After he'd gotten up and had some coffee and breakfast at a local diner, Dean called Bobby to check in with him. He reported everything that had happened and was not very happy to learn that there were now demonic omens and signs back in Palo Alto. What the fuck? "I was just there, Bobby!" Dean was sitting in the Impala, unsure of his next move.

"Well, I'm sorry, Princess, but I don't control the demons. Ya idjit!"

Dean sighed, "I know Bobby. I'm sorry." He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. Ugh. What the hell. Was he just going to drive back there now? "So what am I supposed to do, Bobby? Do I chase this thing, or things, around the country just to always be one step behind?"

"I don't know, Dean. This is crap your daddy was doing before he died."

Dean knew that too. Dean knew it was very likely that his father had been taken out big the big baddy himself. But, it wasn't like he'd cared about the specifics at the time. He'd simply mourned and salted and burned. It had to be done. He didn't want his father to come back as a vengeful spirit or anything. John Winchester was vengeful enough when he was alive.

In the end, he'd decided he'd head back to Palo Alto and see if he could stop the demon from whatever sadistic thing it was about to do. Maybe he could actually get some real answers this time. Maybe he could start piecing some shit together.

Besides, the silver lining in the whole damn situation was that he could end up running into Sam again. He knew it was a bad idea, but what did he really have to lose? It wasn't like they were going to end up in a whirlwind romance or anything. If they happened to randomly run into each other again and randomly hook up then he'd work with it. The ghost of a smile formed on his face at the thought.

* * *

Sam couldn't stay in the apartment. And, he certainly wasn't getting any studying done. So, he went back to his new favorite bar…of the straight variety anyway. He went in and ordered a couple beers. Then he found himself a table. He'd brought his books, just to make it look good and hoping that he wouldn't have to talk to anyone. The last thing he wanted to do was end up picking someone else up.

He drained his first beer in a matter of seconds. He wasn't used to drowning his sorrows like this, but he was tired. He was so fucking tired…and his head was pounding. This wasn't the kind of place that you went to if you had a headache, but he hoped the alcohol would numb the pain…and help him forget.

He wasn't sure what he hoped to forget more…his troubled childhood, the apparently evilness in him, the nightmare, or Dean…

Just the mere thought of him sent a jolt of electricity down his spine and right into his dick. It also caused a smile to form on his face.

_"Come on, Sam, this is ridiculous. There's no way in hell that I'm doing THAT!" Dean had exclaimed, close to Sam's ear, as they sat at the bar, watching gay men dancing in skimpy clothes, grinding against each other's asses. _

_ Sam smirked, "If you recall, we did that very same thing in the last bar…in the bathroom…only we were naked."_

_Heat rose to Dean's cheeks and Sam couldn't help but find him irresistible._

_ Sam smiled and leaned forward to nip at Dean's earlobe. "Dance with me. Want to feel your hard body against me again." Maybe he had three too many beers that night. Clearly he wasn't thinking with his upstairs brain._

_Dean found himself smiling, despite himself. He let himself be led to the dance floor, just as a Lady Gaga song started to play. He silently berated himself for being in a gay bar, dancing in a gay bar and for recognizing the song playing in the gay bar. Shit. _

_ Sam smiled to himself. He could tell that Dean was overthinking things. The man had already told him that he had been with guys before, had openly admitted to being bisexual, and he was also a drifter. He didn't stay in one place very long, so what was the big deal whether he danced to a Lady Gaga song in a gay bar or not? He pulled Dean's body close…maybe a little too close…and started to lightly move his hips back and forth against Dean's._

_ Dean gasped. He'd never known dancing could feel this good. _

_ Sam bent down to capture Dean's earlobe between his teeth and lightly bit down, eliciting a moan from his dance partner. "Yeah Dean." _

_ Dean moved his hips a little faster, feeling his cock harden even more, his body starting to break out in a thin layer of sweat. Sam did things to Dean's body that Dean hadn't known were possible. He was used to having the upper hand. He wasn't used to being reduced to a begging, writhing mess in someone else's arms. _

_ "I can feel how much you want me." Sam whispered. There was something about this man. It didn't matter that they were virtual strangers, he felt close to him in a way that was so foreign to him. It didn't help that Dean was the most gorgeous man that Sam had ever laid eyes on – he was definitely someone who could turn a straight man gay – that wasn't what this was about._

_ Dean bucked against that hardness again. It was delicious. It was torture. It was delicious torture. He found his hands, of their own accord, reaching around to the back of Sam's body to cup that tight ass of his. "Hmmm…wanna slide my cock in there so bad." He groaned. _

_ Sam's jaw dropped. Yeah, the sound of that wasn't half bad. He could get on board with it. No problem. "Hmm."_

_ Dean wanted it, but Dean wasn't going to take it. He might've given this man his anal virginity, but Dean was far from innocent. He'd had so many sex partners that he couldn't even remember them all. Half of the people he'd slept with he didn't even know their names. No, he didn't deserve anything sacred. But Sam…Sam was special, Dean could see that. Any idiot could see that. Sam deserved to have it be something special, romantic; he deserved to have his first time be with someone who was going to stick around. Unfortunately, Dean wasn't going to be able to be that person for him. So, as much as he wanted Sam's ass, he wouldn't take it._

_ Sam nearly panted, his voice gravelly and deep beside Dean's ear, "Let's do it, Dean. Bathroom…"_

_ Dean shook his head. He tightened his grip on Sam's butt cheeks and continued to move. _

_ Sam was perplexed. Why was he saying no to this? He had a willing partner who wanted to be taken and it was clear that Dean was interested. So, why not? He studied Dean's features, nearly drunk on his need._

_ Dean bent down to nibble the line of Sam's jaw and back to his ear again. "Let's be honest, Sam. I don't do relationships and you're already in one. Let's not make this more complicated than it needs to be."_

_ Oh. So Dean was trying to spare him. Fine. He gripped at Dean's ass tightly and pressed the other man so tight against him that he was pretty sure he'd just broken him in half. He ground his hips so hard against Dean that he could feel Dean's entire body vibrate against him. Maybe Dean would let him have him again. Maybe he could have more of that delicious ass._

_ Dean had wished he hadn't had so much to drink. The room was spinning and he was having a hard time breathing. But, maybe it wasn't the alcohol. Maybe it was Sam. He buried his face in Sam's neck, letting it soak up his erotic noises of pleasure._

_ Sam ground again, and this time, he could feel Dean's whole body stiffen and then release. Dean's eyes fluttered and he let out the most delicious moaning sound Sam had ever heard in his life, as Dean unloaded into his underwear. _

_ Dean blushed hard. He was highly embarrassed. He hadn't come in his pants since he was a teenager. _

_ Sam smirked, "Hmmm, let's go to the bathroom and clean you up." He pulled Dean with him._

_ That's how Dean ended up in one of the stalls with his dick down the back of Sam's throat. And then, of course, Dean was forced to reciprocate._

Sam was dragged from his daydream when some drunk asshole tripped over his own two feet and accidentally spilled his beer all over Sam. Sam jumped up and turned to look at the creep. The guy was swaying on his feet. "Watch where you're going!"

"S-sorry! I'm soooooooo sorry." The guy slurred.

Sam groaned and waved him off. There was no point in being upset with someone who could barely stand up. He just gathered up his books and headed back to the apartment. It was only a five minute walk from the bar, which was why he'd picked that particular bar to go to the night he'd met Dean. It had turned out to be a very good choice.

* * *

Dean popped a Deep Purple tape into the car's tape deck and headed back in the direction of Palo Alto. He was annoyed that he'd done all that driving for nothing. It was possible that he could've spent the time with Sam…

But, what was he thinking? Dean didn't do relationships. He also didn't stick around anywhere longer than a few days at a time. But, somehow he was finding himself wishing he could have the things that he never had before. It was strange.

The song that started playing caught his attention. There was something eerily haunting about the song, something that he couldn't put his finger on.

_Can you remember, remember my name as I flow through your life? A thousand oceans I have flown and cold spirits of ice. All my life, I am the echo of your past. _

_I am returning the echo of a point in time. Distant faces shine, a thousand warriors I have known, and laughing as the spirits appear. All your life, shadows of another day. _

_And if you hear me talking in the wind, you've got to understand, we must remain perfect strangers._

He couldn't deny that it made him think of Sam in a way that he really didn't want to. What was it about this man that had gotten under his skin? What was so special about him?

* * *

It took Sam about ten minutes to get home. He'd walked slowly and enjoyed the peace and serenity of the night sky. It was late, but not nearly as late as the time he'd come home a few night's back. It was only about eleven.

He walked in, kicked off his boots, hung up his jacket and dropped his books onto the table. He noticed a plate of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies lying on the counter. He reached into the saran wrap and pulled out a cookie, sticking it in his mouth.

That's when he spotted the note that Jessica had left for him. His brow furrowed as he reached for the letter.

**I know you had a lot of studying to do so I thought I'd bake you something to help you keep your energy up. Give me a kiss when you come to bed.**

She signed her name with her customary heart for a dot over her i. He smiled as he read it, his fingers tracing softly over her name. She had such beautiful handwriting. He'd always admired that about her.

He smiled as he headed to the bedroom. He wanted to give her a kiss and thank her for the delicious cookies. He walked inside and lay down on the bed. He rolled over onto his side and reached out for her, but she wasn't there. Where was she?

He rolled back over, onto his back, perplexed. It was right about then that he felt something drip onto his forehead. He looked up at the ceiling and gasped. There she was, pinned to the ceiling, a horrified expression on her face. She was bleeding from her abdomen and clearly in pain. He yelled out her name, panic stricken. That's when she burst into flames.

"No, Jess, no!" This couldn't be happening. It was exactly like that he'd seen in his mind after the headache started. How could that possibly be?

The room was starting to catch fire; it was spreading quickly, but he couldn't process it. He didn't understand what was happening. All he knew what that he woman he had loved, the woman he'd spent the last three years in a relationship with, was dead.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: I'm worried that this chapter might not be as good as the previous 3, but there's a lot more to go! Chapter 5 will definitely be more interesting, as the boys will be back together in some capacity. :)

* * *

Chapter 4

Dean pulled into the parking lot of the burned apartment building. The damage was considerable. The building appeared to be down to bare bones and it looked like everyone who lived there must've lost nearly everything. Something inside of him hurt a bit. He hurt for the people who'd lost their home and for lives that had been lost.

He approached the investigators and flashed his badge. "Agent Tyler." He told the men.

A man, in his mid-forties and balding, nodded at him. "What can I do for you, Agent?"

Dean smiled, "Any idea how the place caught fire?"

The man shook his head, "Nothing so far. Appears that the fire started on the second floor. Apartment 2B. At this point we're leaning more towards accident than arson."

Dean nodded. He'd suspected as much. He was pretty sure that old yellow eyes didn't really need to use accelerants. "Find any more bodies?"

The man shook his head, "No. Just the one casualty that we've seen. Real shame too; she was so young and pretty."

"You have any information on friends or family, maybe someone who might shed some light on what happened?" It was the usual drill. He needed to get as much info as he could get. He was pretty damn sure that he wasn't going to get any more information than he got on his last hunt, but what the hell?

The man shrugged. "Parents are from Washington state. They flew in last night. They're staying at a local motel. Same place the boyfriend's staying."

"Boyfriend?" Dean hadn't heard anything about a boyfriend in the paper. "Why's he staying at the motel?"

He pointed to the building, "He can't exactly stay here right now, can he?"

Dean's brow furrowed, "He lived here too?"

"In the same apartment. Didn't you read the report?"

Dean flashed the man a coy smile, "Been real busy…"

The man gave him that look. He'd seen it a thousand times in the past. It was the look that said that he man didn't give a flying fuck about what other jobs he'd been doing.

"I'm sorry. Can you point me in the direction of that boyfriend? If he lived there then he might know something."

"Not sure what you're expecting to find out." The man shrugged, "He's already given his statement. And, he was so distraught that the firemen had to drag him out of there… Real shame."

Dean frowned at the man, pulling out his notepad to jot down the information that the man gave him. He thanked the man and let him get back to his work.

* * *

Sam sat on the motel bed, staring at the wall. He'd thought about drinking a beer…or maybe something stronger. He'd thought about going to the bar. But, what was the point? He didn't want to see a bunch of happy drunk people having the times of their lives. He also didn't want to be reminded of the last time he had been there.

What an ass he'd been. He'd gone to a bar late at night and had sex with a random stranger, while he should've been at home, in bed with Jessica. He pretty much hated himself at that moment.

He was a lousy boyfriend. He lied to her, kept secrets, was evasive and clearly he was a cheater. But, that wasn't the part that was bothering him the most. The thing that really got to him was the fact that he'd seen this exact thing played out in his own mind and he hadn't taken it seriously. Maybe if he'd been there…maybe if he'd paid attention to what he was seeing, maybe he'd have been able to stop it. He couldn't deny that he had no idea what IT was. He didn't know why she died or what caused her to burn up like that. Besides that, how did she end up on the ceiling? None of it made any sense at all, but he couldn't help but feel like he had something to do with it.

Maybe it had something to do with the evilness in him. Maybe he'd caused the whole thing without even realizing it. Maybe he'd spent too much time trying to run from the person he was afraid of becoming instead of actually trying to figure it all out.

He had no idea what his next move was going to be. Jessica was the person he'd built his plans around. Sure, he'd had meaningless sex with Dean in the bathroom. He'd flirted, gone to a gay bar and danced with the man…he'd even kissed him and held his hand. But, it hadn't meant anything. He was never going to leave Jessica. He had a good thing with Jessica. He had something real with her.

"Who are you kidding?!" He exclaimed, loudly to himself. He knew damn well that if Jessica were still alive that he wouldn't be saying that sex with Dean had been meaningless. It hadn't been meaningless at all. In fact, sometimes he thought that maybe there had been more meaning, more _something_ with Dean; something that he never had with Jessica. But, it made him feel worse about himself to dwell on that. So, he had resorted to lying to himself, to making himself believe that what he'd shared with Dean hadn't mattered; that he was just an ass for hurting the woman he loved.

But, none of it mattered anyway. He wasn't going to see Jessica again. He was never going to be able to tell her his secrets, never let her in. He also wasn't ever going to get a chance to apologize for what he'd done to her. And, he wasn't going to see Dean again. Instead, he was going to be alone to dwell on the mistakes he'd made and how he was, apparently, going crazy or turning evil or something. Maybe he should just check himself back into the institution. At least there he'd fit in, have a place to live and food to eat. He wouldn't have to fool himself into thinking that he could be normal. Nothing good ever came from fooling yourself anyway.

* * *

Dean went to the bar and got a couple beers. He wanted to unwind a little bit from all the driving, before he went and talked to the family. He figured that the parents weren't going to know anything but he couldn't avoid them either. He really didn't want to talk to anyone, but he knew he wouldn't get any info if he didn't.

Dealing with grieving people wasn't really his forte. He hated hand-holding. Hell, nobody had held his hand when his dad died. Nobody was there to make him feel better and tell him that his dad was in a better place. So, why did he have to provide that luxury for others?

He also couldn't deny that he'd gone to the bar to look for Sam. It was really annoying to him that he was still letting that man get under his skin like that. He had no right to think about him anymore. He needed to just get over it. Dean didn't do relationships anyway, so what was his fucking problem?

He knew what his problem was. He was tall, muscular and had shaggy hair. The man was absolutely breathtaking and he wasn't even aware of it. Dean always appreciated beauty, in any form.

Sam's hands. His hands had been big…with long fingers. He could still remember the way they'd skimmed his back and down to his ass. He could feel Sam's long fingers inside of him, spreading him open wide for his cock. Dean's dick twitched. Shit. He needed to get laid and he needed it bad. He looked around, wondering if he could find someone for a quick fuck before he had to go and deal with his craptastic job.

Upon inspection of the room, he found a couple hot chicks and maybe one or two dudes who were presentable enough to stick his dick into. It seemed like the girls were there with guys of their own, so that wouldn't work. He studied the two possible guys and sighed. Option A was about 6 foot tall, blonde and blue eyed. He appeared to be muscular and was definitely well dressed. Option B was a little shorter with dark hair and a goatee. Dean could do facial hair…sometimes. It worked on this guy. Hmm…

That's when Option A looked his way and smiled. Okay, the blonde dude was going to make the choice easy. The man actually started to move in Dean's direction.

Dean sucked in a quick breath. He had no idea why he was so damn nervous.

"Hey there." He said.

Dean smiled that charming smile of his, "Hey to you too."

He gave Dean a very obvious once over. "Most people don't come in here dressed like that."

Dean looked down at his suit and shrugged, "Coming from the job."

The blonde smiled, "Well, can I buy you a drink?"

"Sure." Dean said.

"Another beer or would you like something harder?" The man's eyes twinkled a little bit at him. He smiled more deeply…exposing a beautiful set of dimples. Shit, this guy was a pretty good specimen.

Dean shrugged, "Why don't you surprise me."

The man laughed, "Okay, I can do that. I'm Eric by the way."

Dean smiled back, "Dean."

"Well Dean, I'll go get your drink and be right back. Don't go anywhere."

Dean did as he was told. He stayed right where he was. But, he couldn't help but wonder to himself if, once again, he was going to be the fucking bottom. That was so not cool.

When Eric arrived back with Dean's drink, Dean took it from him with a frown on his face. "Just so you're aware…I'm not a bottom."

The man grinned, "You won't be saying that in about fifteen minutes…"

Dean swallowed hard. He took a drink and smiled. "Whiskey sour."

Eric grinned, "Is that cool?"

"Very."

"Glad to hear it." Eric reached out and stroked his hand down the front of Dean's chest. He looked down at Dean's tented pants and then back up to his face, "I'd love to help you out with that little problem you got there. Or maybe I should say big problem." And Eric winked at him.

Once again Dean found himself being dragged to the men's bathroom. He was such a man whore.

Eric pushed Dean inside and then up against the wall. He nudged Dean's legs apart with his knee and reached down to grab a handful of cock. "Hmmm. Definitely a big boy."

Dean looked over about five feet and got a face full of the exact spot that Sam had taken him the last time he'd been in that bathroom. Shit. He looked back at Eric and suddenly didn't feel quite so much like doing this.

Eric didn't seem to notice. He was too busy rubbing Dean's obscenely hard erection. He reached forward and captured Dean's mouth in a kiss. It wasn't a particularly deep kiss; it wasn't even that exciting if Dean was being honest. Eric pulled away looking like a kid in a candy store though. "Hmm…great kisser too. I really hit the jackpot tonight."

Dean swallowed hard and tried to smile. "Yeah…"

Eric went to work on Dean's belt. Dean felt bile rising to his throat. He had to get out of there. The room felt stifling, like he was being suffocated. "Ugh…" He pushed at Eric's body. "Um, sorry dude, but I'm not in the mood."

Eric frowned, "You're hard like steel. Don't chicken out on me now. I promise that you'll like it."

Dean rolled his eyes. "I've been feeding girls that line since I was fifteen. It isn't going to work." He pushed against Eric, hard enough to dislodge his body from Dean's, and nearly ran out of the bathroom and the bar. He was pretty sure he didn't breathe again until he was safely back in the driver's seat of the Impala.

* * *

Sam didn't know what to do. How long was he supposed to sit around the motel? He didn't have any clothes or hardly any money. He had a little bit of money in the bank, in a savings account, but all of his cash had burned up in the fire. Pretty much everything he had burned up in the fire. He lost his clothes, his shoes, all of his books and, of course, his girlfriend.

The only clothes he had were the ones he'd been wearing that night. He hadn't washed them or his body since her death. He probably smelled like B.O. and smoke, but he couldn't give a flying fuck. He didn't care about much of anything.

How was he going to finish out the semester? How was he going to graduate? How would he go on with his life? He felt like the world had opened up at his feet and swallowed him whole. School and Jessica were the only normal things he had. Now he had no books, no place to live and no Jessica.

It was getting late in the evening. He didn't have dinner. But, he couldn't remember his last meal. He was a disaster.

With a sigh he sat himself down in front of the television, with a beer, and tried to find something to distract himself with. Even if he could get a few minutes of peace for his weary mind that would be something. He knew he certainly couldn't go to sleep. That was completely out of the question. When he slept he was plagued with horrible nightmares. They were just getting worse. Now he dreamt about Jessica too.

He rubbed at his tired eyes, trying to keep them open. His hand settled on the scruff on his jaw and he scratched. Shit, he needed a shave. Just add that to the list of things he now needed. He sighed again.

Sam tried to focus on some stupid show on MTV, but he just couldn't find it within himself to give a shit about the show. It was a sucky show anyway. His eyelids felt heavy and his head dropped onto his shoulder.

* * *

Dean rested his head on the steering wheel. He needed to get himself together. It wasn't like he was just attacked or anything, he'd been seeking out a quick fuck. He just needed to get himself calmed down so that he could go question the family and the boyfriend and get his shit done.

Once he was calm enough to drive, he pulled the car out of the bar and drove the two and a half minutes to the motel that this Jessica girl's loved ones were staying at.

He went to the parents' room first. Of course they looked horrible. They had red rimmed eyes, wrinkled clothes and looked like they hadn't slept in years. Dean felt bad for them, he always hated having to question people under the guise of being FBI, but it had to be done.

As expected, the parents didn't know anything. They weren't even close to being in the area. They said that Jessica was a bright and happy girl. They'd met her boyfriend a couple times and he'd seemed nice and well put together. From what they understood they were happy. Dean had been almost positive that the girls' death didn't have anything to do with the boyfriend, but he had to cover his bases.

He thanked them for their time and told them he was sorry for their loss. Then he left and headed to the boyfriend's room.

* * *

Sam was startled awake by the sound of someone knocking on the door. He was suddenly very grateful to whoever that was. He definitely hadn't wanted to fall asleep. God forbid that happen. He got up and went to the door. He couldn't care less about what he looked or smelled like.

He opened the door, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands. His eyes were really stinging. His eyes settled on the man's shiny black shoes. He seemed to be dressed really nicely in comparison to himself. His eyes traveled up the man's body and settled on his face.

"I'm Agent Tyler…" Dean started.

They both drew in a sharp breath at the same time. Mouth's dropped open and eyes widened.

Sam couldn't even process what he was thinking in that moment. He kind of felt like his head was going to explode. Maybe he was actually asleep. But, he'd never had this dream before. This would've been a welcome one. He swallowed hard, "Dean…"

"Sam." Dean said, equally as stunned. He had no idea that the girl's boyfriend was Sam. Shit, that just made things so much more complicated.


	5. Chapter 5

AN: Okie dokie, Sam and Dean are together in this entire chapter and probably will be in the entire next one. Sorry this took so long! I've been working on revamping Double Trouble for sinful-desire and that's taken up a lot of my time. But, if anyone wants to read it that wasn't aware of it, I have the first two chapters up. The website is sinful-desire dot org. I plan on posting chapter 3 there today too. The story is a bit different than it used to be, but a lot of the beginning is the same. :)

* * *

Chapter 5

Sam's brow furrowed. He was confused. "What are you doing here?"

Dean didn't really know how to answer that. What exactly was he supposed to tell Sam? "Um…"

"Wait, did you say Agent?"

Dean swallowed hard and smiled, "Well, um, I wanted to ask you some questions. But, I didn't know you were you." Real smooth, Dean. He kind of wanted to slap himself a little bit.

One of Sam's eyebrows quirked up, "Why don't you come in?"

Dean nodded, following Sam into the small motel room. He looked around, "So, this is it, huh?" He sat down on the end of the bed and looked over at Sam.

"What kinds of questions did you want to ask me, Agent?" Sam wasn't sure what was going on. Dean hadn't looked or acted anything like a federal agent the night they'd spent together. Sam sat down beside Dean, leaving a safe distance between them.

The room suddenly felt too warm. Dean pulled his collar away from his neck and sighed. "Well, I'm investigating the fire…"

Sam's face went white. "What do you want to know? I suppose you think I had something to do with it."

Dean frowned, "Why would I think that?"

Sam shook his head, "It's been a long couple of days…"

"I know. I'm sorry." Dean hated this. He'd never hated this as much as he did in that moment. What was he supposed to do? He needed the information, but he didn't feel right about this.

Sam shook his head. "It's fine. I've already answered questions."

"What did you tell the police?"

"Don't you have a report you can read?" Sam didn't know why he was being so defensive. Maybe it was the fact that he kind of felt like he'd been lied to. He wasn't sure why he felt that way. On top of that, Dean's presence was doing things to him that he knew was definitely wrong at that moment in time.

Dean frowned, "I can come back later. I'll go get a room for the night and come back in the morning."

Sam sighed, "No. It's fine." He wrapped his arms protectively around himself. "I don't know what happened. I was out…at the bar..." He looked away, "I had a headache and couldn't focus on my studying. So, I needed a few drinks. I was gone for maybe two hours, tops. When I came home she'd already gone to bed. She left me a note beside a plate of cookies. I went into the bedroom and I-" Sam's voice caught in his chest. "She was on the ceiling…"

"Was she bleeding?"

Sam nodded. "Yeah, from her stomach. How did you know?"

Dean frowned, "I just came from Texas…same exact thing…"

"Did that girl die too?" Sam asked.

Dean nodded. "Husband told me the same things. I'm assuming that's when the fire started."

"Yeah. She started…burning. I didn't…I didn't know what to do. I'm not even sure how I got out of the building."

Dean nodded, "Firemen."

Sam nodded. He ran his hand through his greasy hair. When he pulled his hand back he frowned, studying his hand, "God, I look awful. Haven't showered…"

"That's perfectly understandable. What happened…it's awful. And, you had to see that." Dean couldn't think of much worse. He suddenly looked around the room. "Where are your clothes?"

Sam shook his head, "Don't have any. Everything's gone."

Dean frowned. "I've got stuff in my car. Let me go get you something."

"No. It's okay. I just…I don't care about the clothes and stuff."

"I know. But, you're going to need to wash those sometime. Why not get a shower and change into some clean clothes? I don't mind. I've got stuff in there I don't need. Or, I could drive you somewhere. You must have parents somewhere. You could live with them and they could get you some clothes. I mean, you can't live here forever."

Sam shook his head, "I don't have any parents."

Dean knew how that felt. "Older brother or sister? Aunt or Uncle? Someone?"

Sam shook his head. "It's okay, Dean. I'll be fine. You don't have to take care of me."

Dean studied Sam. He was a shell of the man he'd run into in the bar. This was just not okay. "I'm sorry Sam, but I have to insist. Let me get you some clothes…." He stood up. "I'll be right back."

Sam put up his hand, "Don't you have work to do? Other people to question or something?"

Dean sighed, "Look Sam, I'm not…I'm not really with the FBI." Why the hell did he just let that tidbit slip? He didn't know that Sam could be trusted with that information.

Sam's face reflected his anger. He got to his feet and pushed at Dean's chest, cornering him up against a wall…in a lot less kinky way than he'd done that the last time. "What the fuck?! You just going around lying to people, getting them to tell you about things that aren't your damn business…?"

Dean flinched and put his hands up, "I'm sorry. I'm not a fed, but I am investigating this case…and others. I'm sorry I lied to you." He hadn't been expecting Sam to nearly start swinging. But, he was a fucking hunter for Pete's sake; he should've been more cautious.

Sam removed his hands from Dean's chest. "Whatever."

Dean frowned, "Seriously. I'm sorry." He hated this and didn't want it to end like this. "Please let me make it up to you…"

Sam got angry again, "And just exactly what did you have in mind?!"

Dean swallowed hard, his eyes widening, "I didn't…I just want to get you some clothes, maybe some food…"

"I don't want you to take care of me. I'm a big boy." Sam's body nearly collapsed into a chair. His whole body was overly exhausted and he didn't have any food in his system. He dropped his head into his hands.

Dean moved closer and placed his hand on Sam's shoulder. He was afraid to get too close, but he needed Sam to know that he was there. "You're going to make yourself sick like this. I'm going to go out and get some food and clothes and be back. Please let me in when I get back. Just let me do this and I'll be out of your hair."

Sam looked up into Dean's eyes. His eyes were glassy and bloodshot. He nodded. There wasn't anything else he could do.

* * *

Dean was back a half an hour later. He knocked on the door and feared that Sam wasn't going to answer. But, after a couple of minutes a tired, rundown Sam answered the door. He just nodded at Dean as he came in.

"You look awful." He set stuff down on the small table in the corner. "I wasn't sure what you liked so I got a bunch of different things."

Sam's eyes widened as he took in the food on the table. Dean had brought back cartons from a Chinese restaurant, some fast food, snack stuff and even a salad. He looked up at Dean, "I can't eat all of that."

Dean smiled, "That's okay. I didn't know what you liked. Just throw out what you don't want. Or you can put stuff into your little tiny refrigerator and save it." Dean set his pack down on the bed. He unzipped it. "Got a pair of sweats and a t-shirt that you can sleep in. Got a hoodie here…and some sneakers." He set everything on the bed. "I might be able to scrounge up something that you could actually go out in public in." Maybe he could even find him a jacket somewhere.

Sam shook his head, "Are you doing all of this because you feel bad for lying to me?"

Dean studied Sam's face. Seriously? Did Sam really think that's what this was about? "No. I just…I…I didn't want you not to have clothes and food and stuff."

Sam swallowed the lump in his throat. He got the impression that Dean was trying to tell him that he cared. He nodded, trying to keep the tears at bay.

"Here, eat something."

Sam shrugged, "Not hungry."

"I know, but you need to keep up your strength."

"Why?" Sam wondered.

Dean's eyes widened. Shit. He wasn't prepared for that question. "Because you don't want to waste away in this motel, do you? You've got school and a life. I know it seems too big right now, but it'll get easier as the days go on."

Sam glared at him, angrily, "What the hell do you know about that anyway?!" He snapped.

Dean's eyes widened. "I suppose you think my life is a bucket full of sunshine."

Sam shrugged. He ran his hand over his face, "I don't know. You just seem…you must have a family."

Dean shrugged, "I did. Mom died when I was four…dad just died about five months back."

Sam looked at Dean's face, "I'm sorry." He knew that Dean was telling him the truth.

Dean shook his head. "This isn't about me. You need to eat."

Sam sighed and reached for a burger. He'd been tempted to eat the salad, but he knew that he needed something more substantial than that.

Dean smiled as he watched Sam finally eat something. "Good boy."

Sam raised an eyebrow at Dean, but didn't say anything. He was a lot hungrier than he thought he was.

"There's some fries in there too." Dean said.

Sam nodded.

Dean smiled to himself. "You mind if I use your bathroom? I'd love to get out of this monkey suit."

Sam's eyes lingered over Dean's body a little longer than he should've considering everything and then he smiled, "If you must."

Dean blushed. He enjoyed knowing that Sam still found him attractive. "I'll be out in just a minute." He grabbed his pack and headed into the small bathroom.

Sam went back to eating.

* * *

When Dean came out of the bathroom he was dressed in a pair of jeans and a long sleeved t-shirt. He looked just as hot as he had when he'd gone in there. Sam thought it should be illegal for someone to look that hot.

Sam set the rest of his food down. "God, I'm full."

Dean smiled, "I'm glad. Why don't you go get a shower and I'll clean up?"

Sam sighed, "Why the hell are you being so damn nice to me?"

"We've been through this already."

Sam shook his head, "You just evaded the question."

Dean shook his head, "It's the best I can do." Frankly, Dean was surprising the hell out of himself all over the place. There was no way he could get any mushier than he'd already been. He just wasn't capable of it.

Sam filed that away for later. Clearly Dean had some issues of his own. He just nodded, grabbed the clothes off the bed and went into the bathroom.

Dean went to work cleaning up the food. He put anything that still had food in it into the fridge. Then he pulled the comforter and top sheet away so that Sam could get into bed when he got out. When he was done with those tasks, he turned the television on. He yawned and stretched his neck. He was tired and sore. Then he thought about Eric at the bar and kind of wanted to get sick. He was really glad he hadn't done anything. He wouldn't have been able to even look at Sam if he had. But, why? It wasn't like Sam was his…anything. Besides, it was going to take Sam a while to get over the death of his girlfriend anyway.

Dean rolled his eyes at himself. Why was he even thinking about this? It was like running into the man again had turned his brain to mush.

* * *

Sam had to admit that a shower did wonders for him. He felt so much better to be clean. His body felt lighter and his muscles were looser. Maybe he'd be okay after all.

Then, just as quickly as the thought had come into his head, it was gone. It was easy to be optimistic with Dean being all sweet and heroic in the next room, but what was he going to do when he was gone? He was just going to go back to being a big disaster again.

He felt like crying again. But, he'd been crying for what felt like forever. It had really only been a couple days since Jessica passed, but Sam wasn't very good at feeling his emotions. He'd gotten good at locking them up and throwing away the key while in the institution. His handlers responded well to logic, friendliness and an overall enthusiasm for all things human. They didn't really do well with emotional baggage. But, Sam had a lot, if he was being honest with himself.

Sure, he had his knight in shining armor in the main part of his motel room, looking sexy and taking care of him. But, he wasn't going to be there for long. Dean had told him that about himself; he doesn't stick around. Dean would leave soon and he'd be forced to deal with the fact that he had no family, no real friends and no girlfriend. He literally had no one.

Sam felt like being sick. He swallowed down the bile that had risen to his throat. He really didn't want to be alone. He knew he should be good at it by now, but he really wasn't.

* * *

Dean had just about started to worry that something was going on in the bathroom, when Sam walked out dressed in the clean clothes, his hair wet around his face. Dean forced back the smile that threatened to spread over his face. Sam didn't look very happy, but Dean couldn't help but enjoy the sight of Sam in his clothes. "Pants are a little short, but they're the best I could do."

Sam nodded, "They'll be fine. I'm not planning on going anywhere anyway."

Dean frowned, "That's okay for a day or two, but what will you do afterwards?"

Sam shrugged. He didn't have a game plan and couldn't think that far ahead. He didn't want to think that far ahead. Thinking that far ahead meant that he was going to be alive.

Dean's frowned deepened, "Sam…"

Sam put up a hand, "I just can't, Dean. I can't think about what's going to happen. What's the point in making plans anyway, things never work out the way you think they're going to?"

Dean sighed, "I understand, Sam, but in case you continue to go on without her you have to do something. How much does this motel room cost?"

"I don't know. The police or the landlord…someone's paying for it right now. I can't go home."

Dean nodded, "I saw the place." Dean shrugged, "It's possible that some of your stuff made it through. We could go check it out once the police is done with their investigation."

Sam shook his head, "No!" He wasn't sure he'd ever want to step foot in that place again.

"Well then, you're going to have to let me take you shopping. You need some stuff. You can't spend the rest of your life with two outfits. One's dirty and this one's going to be dirty pretty soon."

"You don't need to keep helping me. I'll figure out something."

Dean rolled his eyes, "Like I'm just going to take off knowing you're living like this."

"Why does it matter? You've got an investigation or whatever…you have a life. You told me yourself that you don't stick around any one place for very long. You've probably reached your limit here."

Dean smiled, "I've exceeded it actually. I've been here longer than pretty much anywhere else." But, yet he was still there…

Sam looked into Dean's eyes then, "Why? Why do you move around all the time? Can't you investigate weird things locally?"

"It's just how I've lived my life. Since I was four my dad's been dragging my ass all over the country."

"What happened before that?" He was curious about him and also wanted to focus on something other than his own self-pity for a few minutes.

"I suppose I was just a kid before my mom died. Probably liked playing with toys and tossing balls around."

Sam actually snickered a little bit.

Dean smiled in response.

"Where did you live then?"

"Kansas." Dean answered. He hated talking about it, but he wasn't going to deny Sam the information. "Lawrence, Kansas."

Sam's ears perked up. "Really? I…I grew up in Lawrence." If you want to call what he did in the institution growing up that is.

One of Dean's eyebrows quirked up. What a coincidence. "Oh yeah? Small world." Dean knew better, after all the years in the business, that there really was no such thing as a coincidence, but he chose not to think about that. He had too many other things to think about.

"Yeah." Sam studied the pattern on the comforter. He was exhausted and wanted to sleep, but he didn't want Dean to leave. He sort of wished that he'd never leave.

Dean caught Sam staring at the bed and smiled, "Hey, you must be tired. Why don't you get some sleep?"

Sam sighed. He couldn't deny that he was tired. "Yeah, okay."

Dean nodded, "You get comfy and head to dreamland and I'll get out of your hair. But, I'll probably check back with you sometime in the morning. I might take you somewhere if you want. I mean, we could go to the mall or something…maybe get you some clothes. Or whatever you wanna do." What the hell was he yammering on about? And, why was he volunteering to come back and spend more time with the man? This wasn't Dean's style. Dean didn't take care of people…well, except for John. John was always drunk or nearly getting himself killed, but that was different.

Sam was about to tell Dean that he didn't need to do any of those things; that he'd be fine, but instead, what slipped out sounded an awful lot like "I'd like you to stay. If you don't mind."

Dean did a double take. Had he heard him right? "Really?"

Sam looked away, embarrassed, "Well, I mean… if you want to go somewhere more comfortable that's okay."

Dean shook his head, "I'm used to sleeping anywhere. One of those chairs is as good as anything else."

"No, you know, it's fine…"

Dean rolled his eyes and put up his hand. "No Sam, if you want me to stay then I'll stay. It's fine. I don't mind." In fact, there was something inside of him that was thrilled at the idea. Other than his father, he'd never really slept in a room with anyone else. Sure, he'd taken people to bed before, but sleeping wasn't really a part of it. He always left after sex. He'd never been with anyone who was more than just a hole to stick his dick into. It made him feel like an ass to acknowledge that, but there had never been a point in getting emotional about it. He couldn't have relationships, so getting romantically involved was never on the table. Somehow, Sam was different. He'd spent hours with Sam that night. It hadn't been just sex. They'd laughed together, shared stories and danced…neither of them had wanted the night to end. And now…now Dean was taking care of Sam and going to spend the night in his hotel room.

Dean didn't know what this meant. He tried to tell himself that it was just because Sam was sad and lonely. He didn't think Sam would've asked him to stay if he wasn't grieving. But, would Dean have wanted to stay?

Dean got comfortable in one of the padded lounge chairs as he watched Sam getting into bed and closing his eyes. Dean didn't know if he'd actually sleep, but he liked the idea of being the first person that Sam saw when he woke up in the morning.

Dean sighed internally. Maybe he was losing his mind. Maybe he'd gone soft in the head. "Night Sam. Sleep tight."

Sam smiled, "You too, Dean." For some reason Sam felt safer knowing that Dean was there. Maybe he even felt a bit more optimistic. Knowing Dean would be there when he woke up made him excited for the next day. He hadn't felt that way in a long time, if ever.


	6. Chapter 6

AN: I had a hard time with this chapter. I rewrote it a few times before I felt confident enough to post it. I seem to be having problems with this one, I don't know why. I hope it's okay.

* * *

Chapter 6

Dean was startled out of a very light sleep by Sam having a nightmare. It seemed to be a pretty bad one, the way that Sam was flailing around and screaming out. Dean frowned and moved towards the bed. "Sam! Hey Sam, it's me. Wake up!" He gently shook Sam's body, trying to wake him up nicely. He didn't want to end up with Sam punching him in the face.

Sam nearly shot up in the bed. He almost collided with Dean.

Dean backed up instinctively.

"What?" Sam asked. He was breathing heavy and sweating.

"You were having a nightmare."

Sam sighed, "I'm not surprised."

"You have them a lot?" Dean asked. Just another thing they had in common.

Sam nodded, "Yeah."

"About Jessica?"

Sam shook his head. "Not this one. This one I've been having for the last week or so." He realized after he said it that he probably should've pretended that it had been about Jessica. Then maybe Dean wouldn't have had that frown on his face.

Dean's worried frown deepened, "Do you want to talk about it?" As soon as the question was out of his mouth, Dean wondered where the hell it had come from. Dean Winchester was not the caring and sharing kind of guy. He didn't do sappiness; it wasn't how he was hardwired. And even if he had been hardwired that way, his father would've beaten it out of him. John Winchester had not been the kind of man that one would call sweet.

Sam shook his head. Did he want to tell Dean about having dreams of monsters and people burning to death on ceilings? Um no. Sure, he could chalk it up to anxiety…if it had started right after Jessica died. Nobody would fault him for that. But, how did he explain that he'd been dreaming of this before she had died? It didn't make any sense and he certainly didn't want to drive Dean away. He wanted to keep Dean for as long as he possibly could.

"Okay." Dean replied. He was actually kind of grateful that Sam hadn't felt like opening up to him. He didn't really want to set himself up for failure. What if Sam was used to people who could be more supportive and sweet than he ever could? Sam seemed like the kind of person who was used to normalcy. He'd had a steady girlfriend and she had probably been the sharing and caring type. So, he was probably expecting a different level of compassion than Dean would be able to give him. But, then again, he and Dean weren't really anything to each other anyway. "Do you want some water or something?"

Sam nodded, "Sure." His throat was pretty much parched.

Dean grabbed a bottle from the mini fridge and handed it to Sam. "You were screaming out, probably dried up your throat." Dean had really hated having to see Sam like that. It was hard enough for him to deal with his own nightmares, let alone Sam's.

Sam looked up at Dean. "Do you have any drugs?"

One of Dean's eyebrows quirked up, "What kind of drugs?"

Sam rolled his eyes, "Something to stop the feeling that my head is being stomped on."

Dean nodded, "Yeah, I've got the good stuff." He searched his pack and pulled out a bottle of pills. "These should do wonders for you."

"What are they?" He didn't want to end up dead.

Dean smirked, "Just pain meds. Hospital quality."

"How did you get them?"

"What's with the twenty questions? Take the damn pills." Dean was frustrated. He didn't exactly want to discuss with Sam how he'd managed to score himself some Vicodin. "Do I look like a drug dealer to you?"

Sam actually smiled, "Right now you kind of do."

Dean sighed, exasperated. He was also damn tired and sore. His back was aching from trying to sleep in that uncomfortable chair all night long. "Fine, don't take any. More for me." Dean popped a pill into his mouth and swallowed it down without any water at all.

Sam's eyes widened in surprise, "Who the hell are you anyway?" The man came in there pretending to be FBI, but yet he wasn't really FBI, but he claimed to be investigating weird things like what happened to Jessica. However, he'd previously run into Dean at a bar and fucked him in the bathroom. One minute he was sweet and compassionate and the next he was popping illegal pills and lying to people. It made his head spin to try and keep up with the man.

"You can call me Dr. Feel Good."

Sam snickered. "My head hurts too much for this." He tossed the covers off his body and got out of bed. He rubbed over his eyes. Images were starting to appear in his mind. He needed to get out of the room.

Dean looked at him with concern. "You sure you don't want one of these pills?"

Sam shook his head and nearly raced to the bathroom. He shut the door just before he was able to make out the visions in his mind. He dropped to his knees, his head in his hands.

The images were really fucking weird this time. He had no idea why, but for some reason Sam could see Dean in his mind. Dean, dressed wearing just a pair of black boxer briefs, getting into a bed. The bed was in a motel room, but it wasn't the same room. This room was dark green with a weird mural of tropical animals on one wall. There were ugly pepto bismol pink accent pillows on the bed.

The décor of the room was enough to make Sam nauseous. However, the blinding pain in his head tended to keep his focus off stupid things like colors and patterns.

These images didn't appear to be sinister, but he also didn't seem to be seeing the entire picture. He didn't know what to expect. Maybe this was just a really vivid, really intense daydream. But, people didn't normally have blinding headaches while doodling the object of their offection's name with a big red heart around it.

Once the images stopped flashing the pain subsided substantially. He sat back, his head falling back against the sink and took deep breaths. He rubbed his hands over his face and then got to his feet. His legs were shaky, but he tried not to focus on it.

He heard someone pounding on the door and opened it, staring into Dean's concerned face. He was starting to get used to that expression.

"What's going on? It sounded like you were in severe pain."

Sam shook his head, "It was the headache." Sam was still kind of seeing spots, but they were slowly subsiding. "They're kind of like migraines I guess. I see flashes and things…" Yeah, that was relatively similar to the truth. It was always better to be vague. "But, it's a lot better now."

Dean studied Sam's face, "How long you been having them?" And seriously, why hadn't he taken a fucking pill? He wasn't sure if his radar was going off because it might be a supernatural kind of problem or if it was merely because he was worried about Sam.

Sam shrugged, "I don't know. Probably a week or so."

"The same time you started having the nightmares."

Sam's face went white. "I…um…"

"What's the matter?"

"I just…God, the whole thing makes me sound like a freak. I just don't want you to think I'm fucking weird or something." He pushed past Dean and went back into the main part of the room, dropping down onto the end of the bed. He put his head in his hands.

Dean swallowed hard and went to Sam. He sat down beside him. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. But, you've gotta know…I don't think you're a freak. I just think you're going through something right now." That was kind of an understatement. The kid seemed to be hiding something pretty major, not that Dean could really talk about keeping secrets. He lived a life based on secrecy and lies. Sam was probably the only person in the world, with the exception of Bobby and his father, who really knew him, but even that was severely limited.

"Yeah, I wish I could blame Jessica's death for this. But, it started while she was still alive."

Dean nodded, "Okay. So, it's probably unrelated." He didn't really believe it, but he didn't want to freak Sam out or cause him to ask him to leave. He really wasn't using common sense with this one.

Sam sighed. "Yeah." He knew he didn't believe it. First he started having weird dreams about some nursery where the mother burns on the ceiling, then he got visions of Jessica dying in that same manner and then it actually happened. Yeah, that kind of shit just happened to ordinary people every day…sure. And, that was all on top of the fact that Sam spent his entire childhood in an institution for evil children. Way too many coincidences for them to really be coincidences.

Sam really wanted to open up. The way that Dean was looking at him, so kind and caring, made him want to spill his guts. He wished he could, but he knew better. He knew that Dean would be out the door the second he heard the truth. He could never tell anyone the truth about his life.

Dean could tell that Sam had gone to a bad place in his mind and wanted to bring him back. "Hey, so, maybe we could go out somewhere. We could get breakfast, hit up a couple stores and get you some clothes and stuff…" He wasn't going to add anything onto the end of that. Might as well just leave it open for Sam's interpretation.

Sam actually smiled. He nodded, "Okay Dean. I know I want to mope, but you're right, I do need stuff." Things didn't seem quite so bleak as they had the night before. He was motivated to buy some clothes, shoes, toiletries. Besides that, being around Dean was far better than sitting around being alone, so he'd do pretty much anything that Dean wanted him to do.

Dean's hand came to rest on Sam's thigh. He gave it a light squeeze and nodded, "Yeah."

Sam swallowed thickly. Just that simple touch was doing wild things to his body; things that he knew he shouldn't be allowed to feel this soon after Jessica's death. He was apparently just a big, horny asshole.

Dean wasn't sure why he'd done it. He knew that he should keep his distance. It was bad enough that he was there, taking care of the man, but now he was touching him too. Sure, it was innocent enough, but judging by the pleasurable sparks that were shooting down his spine and into his semi, it felt like he'd done something much more scandalous.

And, what was worse was that Dean didn't pull it away. He just kept it there…until Sam looked over at him, studying him, like he was trying to analyze the situation.

Sam fought an inner battle with himself and lost. He found his hand slipping over to lightly graze the growing boner in Dean's pants.

"Sam," Dean moaned, fidgeting slightly, "You don't need to do this."

Sam smiled, "I know. I want to." Maybe it was because Dean had been so good to him, but probably it had more to do with Dean's blatant sex appeal. The man was so gorgeous that he could literally stop hearts from beating. He'd thought Jessica was beautiful, but she had nothing on Dean. It was strange, and incredibly homoerotic, but he couldn't find it within himself to care.

Dean's eyes shut and his pulse rate quickened. The feeling of Sam's hands on his covered dick felt so sinfully hot that he thought he might blow his load in thirty seconds.

Sam smiled, thoroughly enjoying the look of pleasure on Dean's face. He leaned in and captured Dean's mouth, drinking him in.

Dean shifted slightly and suddenly Sam was engulfed in Dean. Dean's hands were in his hair, on his back and traveling down to his ass. His mouth was on his mouth and yet still managed to be all over his face, his neck and his earlobes.

Sam could feel his nipples hardening long before Dean's fingers ever grazed them. It was all too much, too hot. Sam could never have prepared himself for the feeling of Dean completely taking over his body. It was in that moment that he knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that he wanted that man in his ass.

Sam moaned against Dean's mouth, "Want you to fuck me, Dean."

Dean groaned. He pulled back, looking at the floor.

Sam studied Dean's face. Dean's pupils were dilated, his face and neck were flushed and his heart was nearly beating out of his chest; he was as horny as he could possibly be. But, his face told a different story. He was frowning and appeared to be struggling internally with himself.

Dean sighed and shook his head. He was determined to do the right thing here. "No."

"Why not?" Sam was very clearly disappointed.

"I can't…" Dean whispered. "I've already told you that I don't stay in one place for very long. You deserve someone who's going to stick around."

Sam shook his head, "I don't care. I want you, don't you get it?"

"I said no. I won't do it. I won't let your first time be with some random asshole who can't give you what you deserve." Wow, this was coming from a place that Dean never thought he'd ever go with someone.

"I was your first time. How is this any different?"

"I'm…well, I'm used to quick fucks with random people. Yeah, it was the first time I've ever let anyone have me like that, but in the end it doesn't matter, and I know that."

Sam shook his head, "So you think that because you travel a lot that somehow that makes you less worthy of something real than me?"

Dean nodded, "Yeah. I'm used to this life. It is what it is."

"That's crap and you know it. Who's out there telling you that you can't have a relationship, that we couldn't somehow mean more to each other than two ships passing in the night? Who made this rule?"

"When you're in my line of work you can't afford attachments. People just end up getting hurt. The price is too high."

Sam frowned. What the hell did Dean actually do anyway? "Since when do private investigators live like monks?"

"Who said I was a private investigator?"

"Well, you're not actually FBI and you said you were investigating the fire. So, I just kind of put two and two together."

Dean nodded, "I guess I'm kind of like a P.I., but I don't get paid for it."

"How do you live? How do you pay for food and these motel rooms and stuff? Seems crazy that you wouldn't want to settle down with a house or an apartment. Hell, rent would be cheaper in the long run than paying per night to stay at some piece of crap motel." He really wanted to get back to stroking Dean's cock and kissing him, but he was curious as hell about what this man actually did for a living.

"There's a lot you don't know about me, Sam."

"Clearly." Sam muttered. He tried to pull Dean back into a kiss, but Dean wasn't having any of it.

"I'm sorry, Sam. I just can't…okay. But, I can take you out for breakfast and hit up some stores with you."

Okay, so Dean wouldn't have sex with him….even though they'd already done it once…but he would go out on a sort of date with him. Sam just couldn't figure this dude out. He cocked his head to the side, "You confuse me, Dean."

Dean shrugged, "Not the first time I've heard that and I'm sure it won't be the last."

Sam sighed.

* * *

Sam had been in Dean's car before, so he knew just what to look for. He found the beautiful car and got inside. He was amazed by how alike the car and Dean were. They seemed to have such a symbiosis. He pretended that he didn't notice the way that Dean gently and romantically stroked over the hood of the car. He wished Dean would stroke him like that.

"What do you want to eat?" Dean asked.

Sam shrugged, "I don't know." He was too busy focusing on how fucking sexy Dean looked in his leather jacket, behind the wheel of that hot car. He was about to have a wet dream…while awake. He silently berated himself for letting Dean get under his skin. There wasn't any point to it. The man had told him over and over again that he wasn't going to be sticking around. Why even bother?

"Okay, then I'll pick." He looked Sam over appreciatively, "I bet you're a four star restaurant kind of guy. Me, I'm a diner dude."

Sam smiled, "Who exactly do you think I am, Dean?" He could enjoy a good diner just as much as the next guy.

Dean shrugged, "Someone with money. I mean, you go to an Ivy League school."

"Yeah, well, I'm on a scholarship."

"Oh." Dean said. "So, you have to keep your grades up for that?"

Sam nodded, "Yeah. They don't generally give out free rides to people who flunk out in their first semester."

"So you're like a brainiac or something? What are you studying anyway?"

"I'm pre-law."

"Wow." Dean said, "For some reason I wasn't getting the lawyer vibe from you."

"Yeah, well then, I guess you're not the only one with secrets." Wasn't that the damn truth?

Dean's jaw muscles flexed like he was somewhat irritated, but he didn't look back at Sam.

Sam could see how closed up Dean seemed to get. "Look, I'm sorry if I pissed you off. I know you're trying to be nice to me, but you don't have to. I mean, you've made it quite clear that you aren't planning on sticking around. What are you trying to do anyway? You just gonna get me some clothes and dump me back at the motel to figure my shit out on my own? If that's what you're going to do then why even bother trying to take care of me? I'm not a child and I've never had anyone take care of me before." He shrugged, "I'll be fine without you."

The tension in the air could be cut with a knife. Clearly Sam was pissed at him for saying what he'd said. "I didn't say no because I didn't want it, Sam. Of course I want it."

"You don't need to spare my feelings, Dean."

"You're being ridiculous."

Sam sighed. "Just drop it, Dean."

"No. I'm not going to drop it. I can tell that you're sitting there, stewing, thinking that I'm not attracted to you or whatever other crap you've put together in your mind. Look, the first time I ran into you I gave you something I've never given anyone and you had me begging for it. But, it's just different now. Now you're not just some random dude…now you're…" What was he now?

"Now I'm what?"

Dean shrugged, "Now you're someone I care about. It would just be too fucking messy if I went and screwed you again. I don't have the time or energy for messy. I have a job to do. I've never had the luxury of a relationship and I'm sure I never will. There's no point in either of us fooling ourselves. Besides that, your girlfriend just died and I'd hate for you to do something that you really didn't want to do just because you're lonely."

Dean had good reasons; he made a lot of sense, logically. The problem was that Sam didn't want to think about this rationally. Dean shot his rational mind to hell and made him only want things that he knew better than to want. It was a really big pain in the ass.

"Maybe you should just leave then, if that's what you're going to do. There's no point in us going out and enjoying each other's company just so I can get more attached to you. It's stupid and it's hurtful."

Dean didn't know what to say. "You're right. I should just go. I should drive you back, drop you off and never look back again." He sighed, "I'll do it if you want."

Sam shook his head, "You know that's not what I want."

Dean looked at Sam with a sad smile on his face, "Yeah. Doesn't help that I don't want that either."

Sam's jaw dropped, "Then what's the fucking problem?"

"I have a job to do. I can't get distracted with other things. I know you don't understand, but if I tried to explain it to you, you wouldn't want to be with me anyway."

Sam highly doubted that could ever be possible. Besides, he was the one who was 'evil.' He was the freak who had visions and weird nightmares that came true. It would definitely be the other way around. "Clearly you either have no faith in yourself or in me. You think I'd just go running for the hills if I know the truth about why you travel the countryside?"

Dean shrugged, "I'm not the only one hiding shit here. We both are. Probably for the same damn reason."

Sam swallowed hard, "I don't want you to leave, Dean."

Dean shook his head, "Unfortunately it doesn't change the fact that I have to. But, you should know that I don't want to leave either."

"Shit. This must be some job if you can't even do what you want to do."

"You have no idea."

"Let's just get some food and clothes and see what happens?" Sam could just hope and pray that he would be able to win Dean over to his side by the end of their day together.

Dean nodded, "Okay, I can do that."


	7. Chapter 7

AN: This chapter's exciting to me! We're definitely building up to them figuring out who they are! :)

* * *

Chapter 7

Dean pulled them into a diner called "Rudy's" and parked the car. "Okay, this is gonna have to do it. I'm sick of looking around. They probably won't complain about your homeless clothes too much." Quite frankly, with Sam's looks, Dean was pretty sure that nobody would even notice Sam's short sweats.

"Very funny."

Dean shrugged, "I thought it was funny." In fact, he thought he was a pretty hilarious guy when he wanted to be.

Sam just rolled his eyes and followed Dean into the diner.

They were seated at a booth in the corner of the room. Just the way Dean preferred it. Sitting in the corner gave Dean the chance to scour the place. He could watch everyone else, without being terribly conspicuous.

Sam's eyebrows rose, "What exactly are you doing?"

Dean's brow furrowed, "Checking the place out."

"You investigating or something?" Sam asked. He could be snarky when he wanted to be.

"Something like that."

Sam rolled his eyes, but didn't say anything. He didn't like how Dean seemed to always be looking for something to jump out at him. Sam wasn't the type to be easily spooked, but Dean's behavior put him on edge sometimes. "What exactly are you checking for?"

"Anything weird. Just making sure the place is safe."

Sam shook his head, "You're really intense."

"Well, you're not exactly the jolly green giant yourself, you know?"

Sam smirked, "Well, I'm trying to have a good time here. Especially if this is our last day together…I'd like to enjoy it without having to constantly be looking over my shoulder."

Dean sighed, "You'll thank me when you don't die."

Sam reached across the table and squeezed Dean's hand, "Dean, please. Just try to relax. Where's the guy that I ran into in the bar? He knew how to relax and have a good time."

Dean shrugged, "He was also a bit buzzed when you met him. Beer relaxes me."

"Maybe you should order a couple then."'

"You, Mr. Straight-laced himself, wants me to order a couple beers for breakfast?"

Sam shrugged, "Well, if it'll relax you." He actually winked.

Dean turned red, "That's probably not the only reaction it'll have on me."

"I know." Sam smiled. "I'd love to change your mind about what we talked about earlier."

Dean sighed, "I just…I'm trying not to be a douche here for once. Try not to mess it up for me."

Sam shook his head, "I really don't think you could ever be a douche. I think that you have this idea in your head of who you are, but I really don't think the real Dean matches up to it."

"I appreciate the thought, Sam, but you don't even know me."

"Yeah well, I'd really like to." He lightly traced his finger nails over Dean's hard knuckles. It was clear that Dean did a lot of work with those hands.

Dean was momentarily stunned. He wanted to come up with some stupid cocky thing to say that would lighten the moment, and help him to focus on losing his erection, but nothing was coming to his mind. Luckily for him, the waitress took that moment to attend to them.

Sam reluctantly let go of Dean's hand as she took their orders. He didn't want to make Dean any more uncomfortable than he already appeared to be. Dean ordered bacon, eggs and black coffee and Sam asked for a short stack and some fruit.

One of Dean's eyebrows rose, "You sure you're not actually a girl?"

Sam rolled his eyes, "You tell me, Dean…am I a girl?"

Dean almost started choking. Thinking about Sam's huge cock stuffed up his ass was definitely not helping his situation in the least. Shit. Why did he have to try and be a good guy for once? Why couldn't he just have what it was that he wanted? What he wanted was Sam…in every sense of the word.

* * *

After breakfast Dean took Sam shopping. Dean was not really into the whole thing, but there wasn't any way around it. Sam didn't have anything.

In their first store, Sam picked out some clothes, a jacket and a pair of boots. He got a few more articles of clothing, including underwear, and then some toiletries (soap, shampoo, deodorant, cologne and etc…) at the second store.

Dean paid. He refused to let Sam pay…he wasn't sure why. Maybe it was because of the way the salesgirl was looking at Sam. Maybe he was trying to stake his claim or something.

They left the store and Sam looked at Dean like he'd lost his fucking mind.

"What?" Dean asked.

Sam was actually kind of amused. "What was that all about?"

"What was what about?"

"That display in there. Did you call me your boyfriend?" It was just freaking strange and completely counter to Dean's whole persona.

"I might've gotten a tad carried away in there. But, she was eye-fucking you."

Sam smiled, "So what? She was actually kind of cute."

Dean groaned, "In a homely kind of way."

Sam laughed, "I think you might've been a bit jealous, Dean."

"What?! Me? No way."

"Yes way." Sam bent forward and put his face right by Dean's ear. His voice vibrated against the softness of that ear when he said, "It's kind of adorable."

Dean let out a strangled sound. "I don't do adorable." He whispered. His voice sounded a little too husky for his taste.

Sam smiled again, "Well, that's a real shame, because you're awfully good at it."

Dean huffed.

* * *

They went back to the motel and Sam brought his stuff inside. He looked over at Dean, "I'm gonna take a shower and then I'm going to get dressed in a new outfit and maybe we can go back out and do something." He didn't want Dean to leave while he was in the shower. He never wanted Dean to leave.

Dean smiled, "You trying to get me to stay?"

"Guilty."

"Okay, that works for me."

Sam smiled and leaned over to place his lips against Dean's. "Sure you don't wanna shower with me? I know you haven't showered since you got here yesterday."

Dean blushed. It was really fucking tempting. "Tempting. Very tempting."

Sam smiled, "Well, you don't have to slide that delicious cock in my ass. We could just wash each other…"

There was no denying the instant boner that sprang to attention in Dean's jeans. Shit. Sam had a fucking dirty mouth. "Sometimes you're full of surprises."

Sam smiled, "Well, you're always full of surprises. So there."

Dean laughed.

Sam pulled Dean close, licking at the seam of his lips, his tongue begging for entrance. "You're beautiful. Do you know that?"

Dean turned his head away.

Sam drew in his breath. "Come on, let's get in the shower."

Dean was worried. For some reason he was feeling incredibly shy and nervous.

"It's okay. We don't have to do anything you don't want to do." He didn't understand how Dean could react like this. It wasn't like they hadn't already been together.

Dean nodded, letting himself be pulled into the bathroom. He stood there, trying not to look at himself in the mirror as Sam slowly began to undress him.

Sam pushed Dean's back into the wall and pressed his body up against him. He kissed Dean's lips, neck and earlobe. "Hmm, can't wait to get that cock out. Wanna suck you down my throat."

Dean moaned. Sam was going to be the death of him. "You're going to kill me."

Sam smiled, "Quit fighting it and just enjoy it."

Warning bells and words of caution continued to go off in Dean's mind, but he couldn't do anything to stop this. He was completely powerless against Sam. He knew in his heart that he'd let Sam have whatever he wanted. It was the most frightening thing in the world for him.

Sam worked Dean's pants open and pushed them down to the floor. He then kissed a trail from Dean's mouth down to his chest, down his stomach, and into that deep V while dropping to his knees on the floor in front of him. Then he licked his lips and slid Dean's underwear down. The scent of Dean's arousal nearly knocked Sam over. There had never been anything that Sam had wanted more than Dean in that moment.

Dean closed his eyes. Unfortunately Sam had his body propped against the wall across from the mirror, so he had to avoid eye contact. Plenty of people had called Dean narcissistic in his life, but it was pretty clear that they didn't actually know what they were talking about.

Sam looked up at Dean's face and smiled. He could tell that Dean was embarrassed and found it incredibly adorable. He hadn't thought Dean capable of being so shy. He slipped his tongue out of his mouth and licked a wide stripe up the underside of Dean's sinfully hard cock. "Hmm." He moaned. He loved Dean's taste. So fucking hot. It was almost as intoxicating as Dean's smell. "You have the most gorgeous cock I've ever seen." His tongue twirled around the head, deliciously slowly, savoring the flavor of Dean's arousal and collecting the precome that had begun to dribble out.

Dean's breath hitched and his back arched a bit off the wall. He wanted Sam's mouth wrapped around him, sucking him into oblivion. He didn't dare ask for it; he knew he didn't deserve it, shouldn't have it.

Sam didn't care about what Dean thought he deserved, he just wanted to worship that beautiful body in front of him. His hands lightly trailed over scars of old wounds that Sam wanted to ask about, but didn't dare. He knew better than to ruin the moment by bringing up Dean's past.

It felt like ages to Dean before he felt Sam's mouth open and slip around the head of his dick. His tongue continued to swirl, making him crazy. Dean's hand went into Sam's hair, holding on and giving him something to distract himself with.

Sam's lips slid down his cock so slowly that Dean was pretty sure his legs were going to give out underneath him before he got all of that hot mouth.

If Dean didn't look so fucking hot and horny as fuck Sam might've laughed at the apparent irritation on Dean's face. He knew that Dean wanted more. He decided to put Dean out of his misery temporarily and slipped his mouth as far down as he possibly could and start in on the real blow job that Dean wanted.

"Oh yes!" Dean gasped. Sam was incredible. "W-want you." He wished he'd kept that to himself as soon as it slipped out. He couldn't deny the truth of the statement, even though he couldn't deny that he shouldn't have said it.

Sam moaned around that mouthful of cock. His eyes closed and he tried to gather himself. He thought maybe just the sound of Dean's voice could bring him off. He slipped his mouth off Dean's cock and nearly tore his own clothes off. He smiled at Dean as he watched Dean's eyes take in the full view of his naked body.

Dean hadn't had the best view in the world the last time, but now he could see every nook and cranny of Sam's body and he had to say that he was quite impressed. "Fuck." He groaned.

Sam smirked. He nearly dragged Dean's body into the shower and turned it on.

Dean gasped at the feel of the cold water on his back.

Sam smiled, bending to kiss him, "Trust me, Dean, you're going to warm up in just a minute."

Dean trembled. The sound of Sam's voice was giving him serious problems. His dick was already purple and aching, he couldn't take much more stimulation.

Sam had no intention of getting Dean off right in that moment. He wanted to enjoy his time with him a bit more. So, he reached for the soap and started to lather them both up.

Dean sighed. Before Sam had come into his life he'd have taken control of the situation, but he was completely unable to do that with Sam. He was completely putty in the man's very capable hands.

Sam washed them both. Then he wrapped his hand around to Dean's ass and spread his cheeks with a hand, a finger slipping between them to circle that puckered entrance.

Dean's eyes widened. He hadn't really been expecting that.

Sam smiled and bent down to kiss those sinfully pouty lips of Dean's. Cock sucking lips was what they were. Very slowly, with his mouth still on Dean's, he pressed his finger into that tight heat.

Dean made a noise in his chest and Sam whispered against his lips that he should relax.

Sam took his time with Dean's ass, slowly working one finger in and angling it up to hit that spot within him. When he added a second finger he could hear Dean's breath hitch and feel him rub his painful erection against Sam's thigh.

Dean was desperate.

Sam wasn't a cruel man. He wasn't going to push the envelope. He kept one hand at Dean's ass, two fingers rubbing against his prostate as he wrapped his other hand around both of their erections.

Dean gasped and started to move. He needed all the friction he could get. "Yeah." He nearly growled. "Come on Sam. Need to come."

Sam sucked a spot on Dean's neck, marking him, as he pushed his own hips forward and fucked his own hand as he rubbed himself erotically up against Dean's steel rod. "Fuck."

Dean's hands went into Sam's hair, gripping and tugging. He nipped at Sam's lower lip, eliciting a soft moan from Sam's throat.

Neither of them lasted very long. After a few minutes against each other they both blew their loads. Dean shot so hard and long that his load went everywhere. He gasped and writhed against Sam, his head buried in Sam's neck.

The kissed each other softly and washed up again. Once they were all clean, Sam turned off the water and they got out. They dried each other off and stole quick kisses. It was sickeningly romantic for both of them, but especially for Dean.

Sam smiled, "Let's get dressed and go out somewhere. We could see a movie or get dinner or something. Maybe later we could go back to our bar and go for a repeat performance." He winked at Dean. Without a doubt Sam just wanted to distract Dean from leaving.

Dean sighed, pulling his towel more tightly around himself. "This was a mistake. We shouldn't have done this." He felt bad.

Sam frowned, "You're still planning on leaving, aren't you?"

Dean ran his hand through his wet hair, "I have to, Sam."

"So, where are you going to be going next?" Sam asked curiously. Maybe he could mysteriously appear there.

Dean shrugged, "I won't know until I know."

Sam glared at Dean, "That is the vaguest statement I've ever heard."

"Well, it's the best I can do. I don't actually know where I'm going next." He walked out of the bathroom and into the main room, searching for some clean clothes in his pack.

"What, do you just take out a map and then close your eyes and point?"

"No, smart ass, I go where the investigation leads me." Dean was annoyed. He hated that they'd just been having a good time and now it was ruined. This was why they shouldn't have done it in the first place.

"So, you hear about something strange and you go running?"

Dean nodded, "Yeah, pretty much."

"That must suck."

Dean shrugged, "Well, it's what I've always known." He put on a pair of clean boxer briefs and looked at Sam. He was trying to be relatively modest, even though Sam just dropped his towel and walked over to the bed and his clothes with his cock dangling around and causing Dean's throat to close up.

"So, you never wanted to know something different? You never wanted to see if you could ever have something more than that?" Sam couldn't even fathom what it could be like to want to be lonely. He'd been lonely his whole damn life and all he ever wanted was to NOT be lonely. Apparently Dean sought out loneliness.

Dean shrugged, "See, the thing is that it doesn't really matter what I want."

"How do you figure?"

"Would I love to stay here, settle down and lead an apple pie life with you? Of course I would. But, unfortunately life doesn't always work out the way you want it to. I don't get to just be happy, Sam. That's my point."

Sam shook his head, "But, my point is that you can choose happiness, Dean. Your life is your choice. Nobody else is making it for you. So, you can do whatever you want. If you really want to give up any happiness you could find and travel all over the country doing God only knows what, then by all means have at it. But, if you wake up one day and realize that maybe you want something else then you should give that a try."

Dean sighed. He'd finished changing and dropped down onto the bed. He rubbed his hand over his face. He felt like he was never going to make Sam understand. "You don't understand. This is my life. If I don't do what I do then people die. I can't live with that."

Sam was dressed from the waist down. He stopped what he was doing to go sit down beside Dean. "Why is it your job to do this? Why do you think that the lives of these people depend on you?"

"Because they do. There aren't very many other people out there who can do what I do or would ever care to. So, it falls on me."

Sam just looked at him blankly. It was clear that he was about to start working up to another argument in favor of Dean settling down and quitting the life.

"Look, it doesn't matter what I do. This thing…this life…it's going to haunt me. It's a part of me. It chose me. It's not something that I can just walk away from. There are bigger things than me and my personal wishes in this world. And, if nothing else it's about revenge."

"Revenge for what?" Sam asked quietly. He hated interrupting Dean's train of thought, because it finally felt like they were on to something.

"For my mom's death. That's why my dad started this job. He wanted answers and reparations for my mother's death." Dean frowned. He couldn't believe he was about to say what he was about to say. "Look, I was four when my mom died. I only have a few memories of her. That's all that's left. She was an amazing woman and she didn't deserve to die…especially in the way she did. She was killed the same way as your girlfriend; pinned to the ceiling, bleeding and then she started on fire. Dad took me and ran. We've been running ever since. But, now it's just me because my dad's gone."

Sam didn't know what to say. Okay, so maybe they had more in common than he originally thought. And, maybe Dean's life hadn't been all sunshine and roses. Clearly Dean was carrying around some major things that were weighing him down. He tried to be as gentle as he possibly could when he said, "Look, Dean. I can't even imagine what that must've been like for you to witness something like that as a kid. I'm twenty two and it's eating away at me. But, figuring out what happened and getting revenge isn't going to bring her back. You can't undo it, Dean. So, it seems to me like you should just move on with your life. You can't do this forever."

"Sure I can. Yeah, I'm lowering my life expectancy, but it has to be done. There's nobody else left to do it. I need to do this for my family. Family is everything. My dad taught me that. He was a bastard of epic proportions, but he was loyal to a fault." Dean argued. "But, I don't remember her death…not really. Lately, though, I've been having dreams about it but I think it's my mind playing tricks on me. There's too much in my head and then these new cases keep creeping up."

Sam swallowed hard. "Okay, this isn't going to make any sense at all, but I've been having dreams about people dying the way Jessica died too. I keep seeing this nursery…and a baby. There's another little boy there. I think it's his mom that dies on the ceiling…just like Jessica. It's all really strange. I have no idea why I'm having these dreams."

Dean's mouth went completely dry. "Is that the dream you had this morning?"

Sam nodded. "Yeah. They started about a week ago."

Dean sighed, "I started having them about a month after my dad's death…so like four months or so now."

Sam groaned, "I can't imagine having dreams like that for months. I can barely function and it's only been a week. I bet you don't have the migraines though."

Dean shook his head, "No. Just the dreams."

Sam nodded.

"So, I've gotta ask…does anyone say anything in this dream of yours?" Dean had a hunch and it was creeping the hell out of him.

Sam shrugged. "Well, there's some screaming, obviously, and there's a man who runs in and he tells the little boy to take his brother and run."

Dean drew in his breath. "Did you hear the kid's name?"

Sam's eyes widened in shock. "You don't think…"

"Yeah, I think something really fucking creepy has happened and somehow you've tuned in to my mom's death."

"So, the baby is your brother then?"

Dean shook his head, "That's the weirdest part, actually. See, I don't have a brother. I never did. I have no idea why there's a baby in that dream or whatever it is." More startling, was how Sam was tuning in to this same nightmare. There was definitely something supernatural at work here. Dean sighed, looking at Sam, "Okay, maybe it's time I really told you all about my job…"


	8. Chapter 8

AN: Sorry this has taken so long! I've been overwhelmed with Double Trouble and my other one-shots. :) But, I've got the next chapter planned out so I know how it's going to go. Hopefully it won't be too long. :) Hope you guys like it! Sam is quite sneaky in this chapter ;)

* * *

Chapter 8

"So, you hunt monsters." Sam stated matter-of-factly. He'd sat there and listened to Dean talk about his childhood, his father and his job for the last twenty minutes, in fascinated silence.

Dean frowned. "You think I'm crazy, don't you?"

Sam smiled, "Look, if you knew all there was to know about me, you'd know that you're the normal one."

Dean snickered, "Yeah right."

"You don't even know the half of it, Dean."

"Okay, do tell. Share with the class." Dean couldn't fathom Sam sharing things with Dean that would shock him one bit. He'd heard and seen it all.

Sam looked Dean square in the face and said, "I think my headaches are more than headache. I see things."

"Like dreams?"

"Yeah, but I'm awake. And, they're too vivid. I mean, I've been having that dream I told you about. But, I was also seeing Jessica's death before it happened." Sam rubbed his hand over his face. He knew that Dean was going to go running or he'd try and exorcise him… "It started as one of my migraines and turned into me seeing her pinned to the ceiling and bleeding. I didn't think it was real. If I'd known it was real I'd have tried to do something to prevent it, of course."

Dean didn't say anything, he just nodded.

"I had one about you this morning… you should try to avoid motels with freak murals."

Dean nodded again. "Is there anything else?"

Sam sighed, "Well, I still haven't told you about where I grew up."

"Where was that?"

"Well, it was in Lawrence. It was a home for children…apparently we were supposed to be evil or something. I don't know when I got there; I never knew anything before that. I don't even know if I have a family somewhere."

Dean gulped. A home for evil children? Was Sam dangerous? "Okay, so let me get this straight…you have weird nightmares, you have visions and you grew up in a home for evil children? Does that just about sum it up?"

Sam nodded. He couldn't look Dean in the eye. He knew Dean was going to leave. Or he was going to try and kill him. "I told you…"

Dean swallowed hard. "Yeah. I don't really know what to make of this. I should…I should call Bobby."

"Who's Bobby?"

"He's a hunter friend. He's older…kind of like an uncle." Dean sighed, "He took care of me a lot when Dad was gone for long periods of time."

"So, you've moved around since you were a kid?"

Dean nodded, "Yeah. My dad's been hunting this demon all my life."

"Is that all he hunted?" Sam asked curiously.

Dean shook his head, "No. He hunted all kinds of things along the way, but yellow eyes was always the big baddie. Dad was always focused on him, even if it was just in the back of his mind."

Sam nodded, "And yellow eyes is a demon who killed your mom and Jessica…and a lot of other people too?"

Dean nodded, "That's right. We just don't know why. I mean, why just sneak in and randomly kill people? It really doesn't make sense. There must be a reason; there must be something that it's after."

Sam ran his hand through his shaggy hair, "Do you think I'm really evil, Dean?"

Dean frowned, studying Sam. "I don't know, Sam. I can run a series of tests on you…see if you react to holy water, salt, silver, etc… I have a feeling that you're probably not going to set off my radar. But, you must've been put in that place for some sort of reason." Dean looked up at Sam, "You said it was in Lawrence?"

Sam nodded. "Yeah."

"Hmm." Dean said. He searched his pack for his dad's journal. "This is my dad's journal. He wrote about every evil thing he ever came across. Maybe he mentioned something about that school. Did it have a name?"

Sam sighed, "It was just called Lawrence Home for Boys."

"It was specifically boys?"

Sam nodded, "Yeah. I always wondered why. I did a little research and there didn't seem to be anything for girls in the area."

"That's strange." Dean shrugged, "Maybe there are more evil boys out there…"

"You're talking like I'm really evil, Dean."

"You can't be too careful. Hell, I let you touch me…"

Sam smiled, "Yeah, and you lived to tell the tale too. If I wanted to hurt you, don't you think I'd have done it by now?"

Dean shrugged, "I don't know. Maybe you were waiting for some information. I mean hell…it seems like all monsters know who I am. It's like they can smell a fucking Winchester from miles away…"

Sam's eyes widened and his heart pounded loudly in his chest. "What did you just say?"

Dean's brow furrowed, "I said that it seems like some monsters can smell a Winchester from miles away."

"Why did you say that?"

Dean looked at Sam like he was absolutely fucking insane. "Because that's my damn name." He frowned. "Not that I should've told you that. I never give out my last name…it was stupid. But, I'm breaking my own damn rules all over the place here."

Sam sat there in stunned silence. Was it even possible? Was this really happening? Could this all just be a coincidence…or a sick joke?"

"Why do you look like you're going to be sick?" Dean asked, confused.

"Because I just fucking might be." Sam replied. He found it hard to look at Dean. "I thought your last name was Tyler."

Dean shook his head, "Nah. It's all part of the fake FBI thing. I'm not going to go putting my real name on it…I'm not crazy." He rolled his eyes. "First you tell me that you might be evil and then I go blabbing about my damn last name. That wasn't the brightest thing I could've done." He looked at Sam's face and sighed. He knew that Sam was working something out in his head, "Look, I think I need to get to Bobby's and see if he's ever heard of this damn boarding house. Maybe he knows something about this. And, since you seem to have the hookup on things, I'm taking you with."

Sam swallowed hard. He didn't know how to say this. "Dean…?"

Dean was already halfway across the room, cell phone in hand and dialing Bobby's number. "Yeah?" He asked Sam.

Sam took a breath, preparing to answer.

That's when Bobby answered his phone.

Dean put up a finger to Sam to silence him for a minute. "Just give me one sec." He turned his attention over to Bobby.

Sam sat down on the bed, his head in his hands. He didn't know what to do. He wasn't even sure he should say something. Maybe Dean would freak out and leave his ass behind. But, Sam couldn't let that happen. He'd wanted to keep Dean before, but he was a hell of a lot more motivated now.

Bobby had been expecting a call from Dean. He knew that Dean had gone back to Palo Alto and that there had been another murder at the hands of old yellow eyes. So, he'd expected a call informing him about all of that…but this conversation had proved entirely different.

It appeared that Dean had stumbled onto something more than just the particular case he was on. But, at the same time, Bobby knew that this was also a part of the case. It was all connected.

He was very uncomfortable with Dean's questions. There had been no way he was going to go into this whole thing on the phone, that was for damn sure. Dean was liable to do something really stupid if he did.

He always knew it had been wishful thinking, but he'd hoped that Dean would never learn about any of this. He'd been under John's strict orders never to bring it up and to diffuse the conversation if Dean ever mentioned anything about it. But, John was dead. Bobby had always hated lying about it. He had his own choice to make now. He could choose to do the right thing. He could let Dean know the truth about the past that his father had hidden away from him.

"Yeah, okay Dean." Bobby said into the phone. "You bring the boy and you come to me. I'll tell you everything that I know."

"Okay, thanks Bobby." Dean said.

Bobby hung up, wishing that he didn't have to do this. He had hoped that it wouldn't come to this. Bobby wondered how Dean had met the kid and how he'd learned about all of this. Hopefully they weren't in an even worse situation than Bobby feared.

Dean packed them up quickly and loaded their stuff into the Impala. He gave Sam the rundown of where they were going and that he wasn't sure when Sam would be back. Sam really didn't care. There was nothing left for him there, other than school. He'd rather be with Dean. He would always rather be with Dean, no matter what they found out.

Sam already knew how this was going to go. Sure, maybe he didn't know all the details, but he knew…deep down, he knew. He also knew that he had to share with the class, but he didn't want to. He knew Dean was going to freak out.

They drove for six hours before Dean pulled into another motel.

Dean went in and got them a room with two queens. Sam frowned deeply, but didn't say anything.

They brought enough stuff for the overnight into the motel with them and got settled into their room.

Sam rolled his eyes at the hideous flower wallpaper, "Ugh, this place is gross."

Dean grunted, "I've stayed in worse."

Sam made a face. "That's next to impossible."

Dean shrugged.

"Alright, which bed you want?"

Dean pointed to the one closest to the door. "I'd feel better being closer to the door." He grabbed his salt and put a salt line at the door and the window.

"How come you didn't do that before?"

Dean shrugged, "I got careless, Sam." He wasn't going to point fingers about that, but he'd been too worried about taking care of Sam to worry about hunting protocol. Being around Sam turned his stupid brain to mush.

Sam moved to Dean then. He reached out to touch him. "Hey, we could always share a bed. This room's kind of chilly…"

Dean shook his head, "I'm not sure that's the best idea ever." It wasn't that he didn't want to, but he was pretty sure he should keep his distance…especially if Sam truly were evil. Maybe Sam was even secretly a monster with an evil plan. Dean internally berated himself for that even after he thought it.

"I was the favorite at that place, Dean. I kept my nose clean. I did everything they asked of me and I aced my classes. That's why I got the scholarships. I don't know why I was in there, Dean, but I can promise you that I don't have an agenda. I'm not secretly plotting to kill you or anything. Kiss you…definitely, kill you…not so much."

Dean actually blushed, "I just…I don't know. I would rather hear what Bobby has to say first."

Sam frowned. He didn't want to ever hear what Bobby had to say. If he heard it said out loud then it would make it that much worse. But, even if he was right he didn't care. He would never care. Dean was all that he really cared about anymore. "Please."

Dean raised one eyebrow, "Are you giving me the sad puppy eyes?"

Sam smiled, "Is it working?"

Dean sighed, "Maybe." It was against his better judgment, but he did move closer to Sam.

Sam eliminated the gap between them and pressed his lips to Dean's. This might be the last damn time he'd get to do this, so he was going to enjoy it. "I want you, Dean." He whispered against Dean's mouth.

Dean moaned, he couldn't help it. Sam made him crazy.

"I want to slide myself in there again." Sam ran his hands over Dean's back and down to grip his ass cheeks in both hands. "Love your tight little ass. Want to feel it all around my dick. Please Dean." He bent down to bite at Dean's earlobe and neck, eliciting another moan from Dean's throat.

Dean's body was betraying him. His breathing was labored, sweat was breaking out on his forehead and his legs were spreading of their own accord. He was losing the fight. He'd already fought Sam once that day. He certainly couldn't fight it again.

Dean knew better. He knew this was a bad idea. There was definitely something up with this whole situation and he knew it was a horrible idea to go to bed with this man. But, his hardening cock just wasn't getting the memo.

Sam began to remove Dean's clothing. "You're so fucking sexy. Want to lick you all over, Dean. Wanna suck your toes into my mouth."

Dean's eyebrow quirked up. Okay, that was a new one. But, somehow Sam could even make that sound hot as hell.

Sam smirked and removed every last article of Dean's clothing. Then he got him on the bed on his hands and knees. "Put your ass up in the air, let me see it." Dean was still somewhat stretched from their shower sexcapades, so it wasn't going to take a whole lot for Sam to get him ready. He was very thankful for that.

Dean was completely taken by surprise when he felt Sam's hot, we tongue licking a wide strip up the inside of his crack. "Fuck." Dean moaned.

"Yeah." He let his tongue circle the opening, very lightly pressing against it.

That did it for Dean. Any last bit of hesitation and good sense went flying out the window. He pushed back against Sam's tongue, his whole body writhing in pleasure. He felt completely out of control, completely at Sam's mercy.

Sam worked Dean's hole open entirely with his tongue. It helped to lubricate him as well. When he pulled back to admire his handiwork, Dean was gaping open, red and his body was nearly vibrating.

Dean let out a disappointed sound at the loss.

Sam put his hand on Dean's back and hushed him. "I'm going to take good care of you, Dean. Just stay relaxed for me." He quickly got himself undressed and wrapped his hand around his weeping cock. "You got any condoms?" Sam asked, huskily.

Dean shook his head, "Just do it. I don't care."

"You sure?"

Dean nodded. "Yeah." He'd never had anyone else in his ass before so he knew he couldn't give Sam anything. He couldn't find it in himself to care about anything he could get from Sam in that moment. He just wanted Sam so fucking badly.

"Okay, Dean." Sam said. He rubbed soothing circles over Dean's lower back as he slowly pressed himself inside. Sam's eyes closed and his breathing labored, "You're so tight. Feels so fucking good. I can't wait til you fuck me like this."

Dean bit his lip. He wanted to argue that it wasn't going to happen, but he was a bit too distracted. Instead he just closed his eyes and tried to stay relaxed so that Sam could take him into complete ecstasy.

* * *

They woke the next morning, a tangled mess of limbs, with Dean's head on Sam's chest. Dean grunted as soon as his eyes met the light coming in through the window. He rubbed his eyes and assessed the situation. 'Shit.' He muttered to himself. Dean didn't do cuddling, yet here he was…

Sam smiled and tried to pull Dean closer. "Let's just lay here for a little while." Reality was too much of a bitch to Sam. He knew he'd likely never get Dean like this again…not once he knew everything that Sam had figured out.

"We need to get back on the road." Dean said, pulling away and getting up. "Gotta get to Bobby's house."

Sam just sighed and got up too. He knew Dean would get weird on him. He hadn't known the man for that long, but it seemed like he already knew him too well. "Okay Dean."

They washed up and got dressed. Then they loaded up the car, checked out and hit the road. Dean turned to look at Sam, once they were both seated in the car, and said "I think we should drive straight through."

Sam frowned, "Aren't there like 20 hours left?"

Dean shrugged, "Depends on traffic."

Sam rolled his eyes, "Does this have anything to do with last night?"

Dean groaned, he didn't want to talk about this. "Last night was a mistake."

Sam resisted the urge to pout. "Felt pretty damn perfect to me."

"Don't do that."

"Do what exactly?"

"Get all hurt and try to make me feel bad. Look, it felt good and I enjoyed myself…but we've been through this…it just can't happen. I don't do relationships."

"Yeah, you don't do relationships because you travel all over the country hunting evil monsters. But, I feel like I'm a part of this now." That was definitely an understatement. "If I started to hunt with you…"

Dean nearly growled, "No, Sam. We're not having that conversation. I'm bringing you to Bobby's so that we can sort out how you're connected to yellow eyes and such. Once it's all figured out then I'm going to bring you back to school and drop you off."

"Why? What exactly is left there for me?"

"Um…school." Dean argued.

Sam shrugged, "I could go to school anywhere. I could do a lot of stuff online. But, it doesn't even fucking matter to me. Jessica was the only fucking constant thing I've ever had in my life…now she's gone. I feel like that's much like how it was with your dad and you. So, we're both alone…why not be alone together?"

Dean wanted to hit his head on the steering wheel. "No. I've already said no. That's the end of it."

Sam's eyebrow rose, "You're not the boss of me, Dean. You can't stop me from following your ass all over the countryside." Besides, once Dean knew everything that Sam was pretty damn sure he knew…Dean wasn't going to be able to just ditch him the way he wanted to. It would change everything. In a way it was a good thing, but Sam knew that what had happened the night before – and how happy he'd been – that wasn't ever going to happen again.


	9. Chapter 9

AN: I wrote the chapter last night and then proofed it earlier. I then went back and added some more stuff to it in my second proof. Hopefully there aren't any typos in the newest stuff. There was only so many times I could read the same chapter. :) Let me know if you see anything big and I'll go in and fix it.

Dean has an epic fit, but we got to a more positive point at the end. Definitely on the right track. :)

* * *

Chapter 9

They pulled into Bobby's house a day and a half later. Much to Dean's utter chagrin, Sam had won the argument and they'd ended up stopping to sleep again. Sam had also picked out a room with one king sized bed and not given Dean a choice about that either.

Dean had rolled his eyes, but gone along with it. He wasn't sure why he was incapable of putting up a fight against the man.

Sam had decided not to push his luck any further and hadn't tried to bed Dean again. They'd simply gotten under the sheets and Sam had slid over to kiss Dean silly. Then he'd wrapped Dean in his arms, listened to Dean sigh under his breath and they both fell asleep.

Looking back, Sam totally would've taken the opportunity to sleep with Dean while he had the chance.

Dean parked the car and looked over at Sam. "Okay, I should probably warn you about a few things." Dean wasn't sure how to describe Bobby really, but he felt compelled to try. "Bobby is a little…crotchety. He's a good man and everything, but he's pretty grumpy most of the time. So, don't be offended if he doesn't take to you immediately."

Sam smiled, "I'll be fine, Dean. I can handle myself." Even if Sam was a little worried, he wasn't going to let Dean see it. He wanted Dean to know he was a big boy, one he could take on the road with him.

"Okay, if you say so." Dean said with a shrug.

Sam sat there toying with the idea of whether to tell Dean what he knew or not. He wanted to tell him, wanted to set the record straight and soften the blow a bit in front of this other man that Dean respected, but he was afraid that Dean might just punch him. He was also afraid that Dean might let him out of the car and drive away.

Dean was pretty much oblivious. He just wanted out of the car and into the house. He needed some food and a nap, and not necessarily in that order. He also needed for Bobby to sort out this whole weird dream situation. Once he knew what they were up against he'd have to decide what to do with Sam. He knew he couldn't exactly drive him around the country in the car, killing monsters. Aside from the whole 'monster asylum' thing he had growing up, Sam had never actually dealt with a real monster. Sam didn't know the first thing about self-defense or how to wield a weapon. It would be a disaster to bring him along. And Dean couldn't stop hunting. Unfortunately, there was still a job to do and he was the only one stupid enough to do it.

Sam sighed as he watched Dean retreat from the car. Clearly he was too big of a chicken to actually speak up. But, how exactly was he supposed to say it. Should he just blurt it out or should he butter Dean up a little bit first? "Look, Dean, there's something…" He started as he got out of the car and tried to catch up with the older man.

Dean tossed him a look over his shoulder, "It'll be fine. I'm sure he's not going to say you're a monster. I'm sure you'll be back at school in no time at all."

Sam frowned again. So, now he had two big things to worry about. "No Dean, I…"

"Let's not have this argument again." Dean muttered, silencing Sam. "It's where you belong. You're not cut out for this life."

"But, Dean, I really think you should just listen…"

Dean spun around. He was up on Bobby's small porch and Sam was at the bottom of the steps. Dean folded his arms over his chest. "He'll be at the door any minute now, Sam. I really don't have it in me to talk about your crazy plan right now."

Sam sighed, "Fine. You're going to find out very soon…you're going to wish I'd said something first."

"Okay, what is it?" Dean asked, exasperated.

"I think I'm your…Well, you see…my last name…oh shit, this is a lot harder to say than I thought it would be."

Dean's brow was furrowed and he studied Sam's face. Sam had started sweating and it wasn't even warm outside. "What's wrong?"

Sam sighed, "I think I'm you're brother, Dean." There, he said it.

All of the color ran out of Dean's face and his jaw dropped nearly to the ground.

"Hey Dean." Bobby said, answering the door. "Why don't you boys come on in here so we can sort this whole thing out?"

Dean nodded, dumbly. He was too far gone to even realize that Bobby had walked in on the last part of their conversation.

Sam moved quickly. He had recovered a bit since getting that off his chest. He put his hand on the small of Dean's back and pushed him forward, into the house. "I think that would be best." He put his hand out to Bobby. "You're Bobby I'm assuming. I'm Sam. Sam Winchester."

Dean made a weird sound in his throat and Sam shrugged. He pushed Dean forward, into the house. Then he set him down on the couch. That's when Dean recovered, "Get off me! Don't touch me! What that…Bobby, come on, say this isn't true!" Please, please, please, Dean nearly begged. He was internally begging that Bobby would tell him that it was some weird joke and that he hadn't unknowingly allowed his own brother to fuck him in the ass. Twice.

Bobby noticed the horrified look on Dean's face and sighed. "I take it that you two didn't meet on the job?" it wasn't the worst thing in the world, but it was up there. Bobby wished he could take this all away from them.

Dean groaned. "I was between jobs at the time." Dean's mouth felt like it was full of cotton.

Sam felt somehow stronger, probably because he'd been dealing with this for a couple days now. "We met in a bar… Then when he came back to investigate the fire in my apartment building he came to my motel room to question me…he didn't know it would be me there."

Bobby studied Dean's face, "Okay, well, I understand why you didn't go giving out your last name…but you didn't try to find out his?" The older hunter couldn't help but think that Dean was getting soft.

Dean shrugged, "Not standard procedure."

"Even after being together for the last four days?" Bobby's hands were on his hips. He wasn't trying to show anger towards Dean; he was really just frustrated with the entire situation. He felt helpless. He knew Dean was going to be pissed at him.

Dean groaned. "Is this for real? Is he really my…?"

Bobby nodded his head in affirmation. "He's your brother. Your younger brother. He's four years younger."

Dean groaned. How was he just supposed to sit there calmly and listen to this shit?

Sam nodded, "Which explains why we seem to have tuned in to the same channel. But, about that…why am I seeing things and having weird dreams?"

"Well, some of it probably has to do with yellow eyes." Bobby hadn't wanted to tell them this either. He knew the tall young man was going to be horrified. Bobby had to admit that Sam didn't look like a kid who belonged in a home for evil children.

Dean perked up at that. "What do you mean?"

"The reason why you grew up in that place...is because your daddy couldn't bear to keep you around after what happened."

"You mean what happened to mom?" Dean asked. "What exactly could Sam have possibly had to do with that? He was…well, I'm guessing from the dream that he was just a baby."

"He was six months old exactly. Your mother heard noises coming from his nursery and ran in."

"That's when yellow eyes killed her?" Dean asked.

Bobby nodded, "But, not before he bled into Sam's mouth."

"WHAT?!" They both exclaimed at the same time.

Dean looked at Sam for the first time since he found out the truth.

Sam got to his feet. "So you're saying I have demon blood in me?! That's why he put me in that…place?!" Okay, so Sam could officially call himself a freak. A ton of different emotions were running through him in the same moment. He was horrified and angry, but at the same time he was almost relieved. He had to admit that it was a bit of a relief to know why he'd been put in there; what he'd done wrong. But, Sam hadn't done anything wrong. He'd had wrong done to him…and he had no idea why. He sure as well wasn't going to sit around on his thumbs, he needed to know the whole truth.

Bobby nodded. "I tried to tell him that it didn't necessarily mean anything. But, your father was insistent. When he got an idea in his head there was no stopping him. Dean can attest for that."

Dean made a grunt of agreement in his chest. As if to say that it was merely an understatement. He was still having trouble putting sentences together.

"Why did the demon do that? Just so I'd have freaky dreams and premonitions or whatever?" Sam ran his hands through his hair.

"We don't know. That's the only thing your father never figured out." Bobby explained, "He was sure that you were evil. He was also sure that yellow eyes would come back for you…that he had plans for you. So, that's why he sent you away."

Sam looked at Dean, "But, wouldn't Dean have remembered?"

Dean was curious about that too. "Yeah." Dean said. Even though Dean had been four, he must've had questions. Surely he couldn't have just forgotten. There had to be more to the story than that.

"Well, he took you away when Dean was asleep. He gave you to that place and then tried to pretend you didn't exist. Dean started asking questions, like any child would, and John tried to pretend that you never existed." Bobby turned his head to look at Dean, "You loved your brother so much, pretty much all you ever talked about. John found a spell to wipe your memories of Sam…"

Dean was outraged. "Are you serious?! Are you trying to tell me that my own father took my brother away, lied about his existence and then put me under some spell?!" Dean was on his feet, pacing around like a caged tiger, ready to strike.

Sam, who had previous been standing all giant and angry, had receded back onto the couch. He just kept tossing looks at a pacing Dean, like the man was about to attack.

Bobby nodded.

"And you knew about this?!" Dean was more or less growling like a wild animal. He felt kind of like one too. He felt completely out of control. He felt like everything he knew about the world was upside down and inside out. Dean was used to dealing with shit on toast, but he'd taken a few things as constants. For one thing he had been pretty damn sure that he'd known who his own damn family was!

"Yeah, I knew. Didn't like it none, but I knew." Bobby was mad at himself too. He wished he'd been able to tell Dean the truth a long time ago…or that it hadn't come to all of this. "Look, I hoped you'd never find out."

"Well, that's a tad bit unlikely because I'm hunting the thing that bled into my b-brother's mouth! Don't you think it might've come up in his conversation…might've used it to distract me enough to kill me!" Dean had never been this mad in his life. "I have no clue who the hell I'm the most mad at right now…my dad for doing all of this…you for covering for him…or my brother…" His sent Sam a death glare, "who managed to put two and two together and went around pretending that he got twenty-two!" He gripped the back of the couch so tightly that his knuckles turned white. He felt like he was about to hulk out.

Sam gulped. "I'm sorry, Dean. I just…I don't know. I didn't mean to…"

"Save it!" Dean exclaimed. "I don't want to hear from either of you two again!" With that he was on the move. He wasn't about to take anymore shit. He pulled his gun out of jeans and headed for the door. "Either one of you comes after me and I'll put a bullet in your brain!" Maybe he was being a tad bit melodramatic, but he needed to get out. He needed air. He needed time to process all of this crap.

Dean practically ran out of Bobby's house and back to his car. He reached into the back seat and pulled Sam's stuff out and tossed it onto the ground.

Sam wasn't just going to sit there like a jittery bump on Bobby's couch. He was on his feet almost instantly, chasing Dean outside.

Bobby sighed. He hadn't wanted either of them to leave, but what the hell was he supposed to do to stop them? He'd figured Dean would get like this. That's why he'd been dreading it so much. He was liable to blow a gasket.

The door slammed so hard that it nearly echoed. Sam didn't care. He just ran down the porch steps and stopped a few feet away from Dean. He watched Dean hurling his crap out of the car and folded his arms over his chest. "Stop it!" Sam exclaimed, "You can't just leave me here!"

"The hell I can't!" Dean exclaimed.

Sam reached for his brother, his hands on Dean's biceps.

Dean was strong…a hell of a lot stronger than Sam…and he pushed Sam away. "Don't you fucking touch me, asshole! How could you figure out I was your brother and just…make me…do that?!" Okay, so maybe Sam hadn't exactly held a gun to his head or anything.

Sam groaned, "I didn't make you do anything, Dean. It was a mutual thing."

"But, you lied to me!" Dean exclaimed. His brother had known he was his brother when he'd seduced him.

"I didn't know for sure." It was a pitiful response and Sam knew it too. He was grasping at straws.

Dean lowered his eyes; he was really close to punching Sam in his pretty face. "Don't give me that shit! You knew we were related…had to be after all the coincidences. Didn't it bother you to know what we did?"

"No." Sam said. He folded his arms over his chest.

Dean gasped. "How is that even possible?"

"I never had a family, Dean. We didn't grow up together. I met you in a bar and felt an instant connection. Neither of us knew. We still feel the spark…that hasn't changed. I still wanted to be with you, still grew to have feelings for you that were more than brotherly. Sure, if I'd grown up riding shotgun with you it would've been a lot different for me, but I can't say for sure that I wouldn't have wanted it even then."

"You can't be serious."

"Are you going to look at me and tell me that your feelings have suddenly changed now that you know we're blood?"

Dean groaned. He punched the car. He loved that car, but it reminded him of his asshole father. "If our father wasn't already dead I'd skin him alive!"

"I know you're mad, Dean. And you have every right to be. I'm fucking mad too. But, after all the years we were apart, we found each other. We're together now." Sam reached for Dean again. Dean was more compliant this time. He spun Dean around so that he could look at him. "Please don't leave me, Dean. I never had a family before. I was just some freak giant in a sea of other freak kids. I never had anyone until Jessica came along. But, she's gone too. I have nobody, Dean. And, aside from that hunter in there that you're mad as hell at, you don't have anyone either."

Dean grunted.

"I know you don't really want to be alone."

"Easier that way."

"Why, because you don't have to get attached that way? Well, we're brothers…you couldn't get rid of me now if you truly wanted to." Sam moved closer, his face merely a few inches away from Dean's, "Please don't leave me. I don't know what to do or where to go."

"You weren't raised in this life, Sam. In some ways you're lucky. I never had a life, could never have a girlfriend. You got to go to college." Was it possible that Dean could find himself being jealous of a brother who had grown up in some kind of weird asylum? Maybe Dean needed to have his head examined.

"You could have those things too, Dean." Sam whispered. "We could have them together. You don't need to leave."

Dean's eyes filled with unshed tears. "I guess I started to remember that night because my dad's dead and he isn't manipulating me with spells…or maybe yellow eyes is dicking with me…sending me a damn message." He was thinking out loud. He needed answers, needed to know why things were happening. How could all of this shit have happened to them?

"Does it matter?" Sam asked. "I'm glad I have a brother…even if it had to be the one person I can't imagine my life without."

Dean gasped, "You barely know me."

"You going to pretend that you don't feel it too, Dean?"

Dean looked away. "It doesn't matter now."

Sam frowned. "Nobody is around to care. Our family is gone. Bobby knows we met up and had a thing…he's not stupid. This isn't going to cause problems."

"We're family, Sam. Family doesn't do…that."

"Not every family is the same, Dean. We are technically brothers by blood, but we didn't grow up together. It feels different. It doesn't feel like incest."

Dean moaned, "Don't say that word. It just makes me feel dirty."

Sam searched out Dean's eyes. "This is all just a shock for you. I had a couple more days to come to terms with it. Plus, life has been an epic crap fest lately anyway. You are the only good thing that's come out of everything that's happened in the last month. I don't want to lose you just because you're mad and scared."

Dean sighed, "Fine."

"Fine what?"

"I won't leave you." Dean muttered, "But, we're going to have to get you into hunting shape really quickly. And, you're gonna have to study up on every evil thing out there. We'll take a few weeks to train you and then that's it. Monsters aren't gonna take a holiday just because you need to learn how to hunt."

Sam smiled, "Oh good, yes. I can work with this. I can learn to hunt. We can do this together."

Dean put up his hand, "But, let's not get ahead of ourselves. I'm still mad at you and creeped out by everything. There isn't going to be any kinky fun…this is business. We'll train, we'll hunt, you can ride shotgun, but the twain will never meet. It can't. Can you live with that?"

Sam shrugged. He wanted to tell Dean that he wanted more, that it would never be enough, but some of Dean was better than none. So, he just said, "Okay, Dean."

Dean put most of Sam's stuff back in the car and pulled out his own pack. "Get your clothes, Sam. We need to get you a computer. We'll need it because you're gonna be the brains and I'm gonna be the brawn…just the way it's gonna have to be." Dean wasn't sure why he was rambling, but he didn't care. There was just too much on his mind. He headed into Bobby's, tossing Sam one last look over his shoulder, "Let's go tell Bobby he needs to find us two separate places to sleep."

Sam sighed as he reached to the ground for his bag. This wasn't perfect. He wasn't satisfied…yet. But, he knew that he and Dean had something special, something rare. He knew that eventually Dean would come to terms with the situation and things would get easier. Sam was, honestly, just really grateful to have a family…even if he was madly in love with his brother.


	10. Chapter 10

AN: I'm so sorry that it's taken me so long to get this up here. I have the next chapter written so it shouldn't be as long between chapters this time. :)

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Chapter 10

They had been at Bobby's for nearly two weeks. In that time, Dean gave Sam a crash course in all he knew about hunting. It never stopped amazing Dean how quick a study Sam was. He'd known Sam was smart, but he appeared to be a freaking genius. He was also really good at doing research. Dean had to admit that he would be handy to have around…even if it did infuriate him to think about it. It wasn't that he didn't want Sam around; it was merely that he wanted Sam to go back to school and make something of himself. Sam had potential and, despite where he grew up, was actually the more normal of the two. He knew how to live in one place and settle down. He knew how to be in a real relationship with someone. Dean didn't know how to do that.

The other problem that Dean was having was that being around Sam made him feel uncomfortable. Sam had a good personality, was someone Dean could bounce ideas off and one who was interested in what Dean said and did, but Sam was also insanely gorgeous. Being near Sam did crazy things to Dean's body…things that he didn't want to think about. Knowing who Sam really was changed the way Dean looked at the situation. It wasn't just two random guys meeting up for sex. These were two brothers and they had feelings for each other that bordered on disastrous.

Dean could never give Sam what it was that he wanted. He didn't do relationships; he just wasn't hardwired that way. He also wasn't well versed in the sharing and caring crap.

"Alright Dean." Sam said. "Can we be done for now? My hand and arm are starting to cramp." They'd been at target practice for nearly two hours now.

Dean frowned. I was so easy to give in to whatever it was that Sam wanted. It confused him. "This is important, Sam."

Sam pointed to the targets he'd hit successfully. "I hit every target, Dean. I know how to fire a fucking gun." It had been the same thing day in and day out since Dean had decided to teach Sam about hunting. It was like Dean was doing this just to piss Sam off. How many bull's-eyes did he actually have to hit before Dean realized that Sam could handle a weapon?

Dean glared at his brother, "I told you this would be tough, Sam. You said you could handle it."

Sam sighed. "I can, Dean. But, it's like you're trying to torture me. You can't scare me off this easily, you know."

Dean grunted. He was about to say something in response when they heard Bobby yelling to them out a back window. "Grub's on, boys!" The older hunter shouted.

Sam and Dean instinctively shivered a little bit. Bobby's food was not exactly on the edible side. Sam placed his hand on the small of Dean's back and whispered into his ear, "If it's anything like last night I'll smuggle us in some food in a little while." And he started walking back into the house.

Dean was left reeling. The spot where Sam had just touched him felt as though it had been burned. He swallowed hard, his throat all gummed up. He really needed to get a grip. Sam was going to be with him all the time now; he wasn't going to be able to get away from the man. He couldn't go around drooling every time Sam was near him. He was acting pathetic and he needed to put an end to it. Shit, he really needed to get laid.

Eventually, Dean found his legs and went into the house for dinner. Bobby had set plates, napkins and silverware out, like place settings. Dean smirked, "We having a fancy dinner tonight, Bobby?"

Bobby grumbled about him being an idjit, under his breath.

Dean shrugged.

Sam smiled. The smile faded from his lips when he spotted the slop that Bobby was serving. He seriously lost his appetite. He watched as the color drained out of Dean's face. If Sam had learned nothing else about Dean in the last couple weeks, it was that Dean liked to eat. It was truly telling if something didn't look edible to Dean.

"Um, Bobby, I'm not trying to be an ass here…but what the hell is that?"

"It's goulash."

Dean's eyes widened. He'd eaten goulash before and it never looked like that. He watched in horror as Bobby plopped a couple spoonful's of the offending 'food' onto his plate. Dean was not the praying type, but that night he actually said a prayer over his food, particularly that it didn't kill him.

Sam watched Dean pick at his food. He figured that if he watched Dean have some of it and he didn't keel over that it might be safe for him to force down a couple bites.

"Is goulash supposed to be crunchy?" Dean asked. Only Bobby could manage to make goulash both crunchy and mushy at the same time. Neither texture was particularly appealing.

Sam made a face.

"Just shut up and eat your food." Bobby said. "I'd love to see you do better."

Dean shrugged. "I'll whip us up something tomorrow night and we'll see how it turns out." It couldn't be any worse than whatever the hell it was that Bobby was forcing him to eat.

Sam forced thoughts away from the offending food. He watched Dean from across the table. Dean looked absolutely sinful in a worn black t-shirt and tight light-wash jeans. It made Sam's mouth water to think about it…which was good because the food in front of him was turning his stomach.

Sam needed to figure out a way to get Dean to crack. He needed Dean to realize that he didn't have to be a martyr and he certainly didn't have to pretend that he didn't want Sam as much as Sam wanted him. He bit back a smile as he slipped his foot out of his boot.

Dean watched him skeptically. He wasn't sure what Sam was doing, but he had learned enough about Sam's facial expressions to know that there was something swimming through that brain of his. He was just about to wonder if he should be afraid when he felt something touch his thigh. His eyes widened and he studied Sam's face. Sam wasn't giving anything away.

Sam still wasn't sure how he'd gotten his sock off without drawing attention to what he was doing. Maybe he did have some sort of magical powers or something. He used his toes to slide the fabric of Dean's jeans slowly up his leg so he could slip his foot between the denim and Dean's hairy shin.

Dean fought back a shocked moan at the contact. It didn't take much to get him going. He was already rock hard and had to resist the urge to rut against the table. Shit. Sam had too much power over him, it wasn't healthy. He opened his eyes, he hadn't realized they'd been closed, and looked around. Bobby was none the wiser and Sam had a smug smirk on his face.

Dean lowered his eyes at his little brother. How dare he try and take advantage of the situation when there wasn't a damn thing that Dean could do to stop it. He had half a mind to kick Sam away and stop down onto one of his size fourteens with his work boot. He silently berated himself for even thinking it. He couldn't do something cruel like that…even if Sam found it perfectly fine to torture the hell out of him.

Sam wiggled his toes against Dean's skin, twirling them around the soft blonde hairs. He wished he could run his fingers through them. He wished he could slide his hands up those hairy legs and wrap them around the perfectly round globes of Dean's ass cheeks. Then he'd very slowly circle that pink puckered opening… He needed to stop this or he was going to spontaneously combust or shoot his load in his jeans like a teenager. He really needed to get laid. He really needed to get laid by that gorgeous man sitting across the table from him. He didn't, and never would, care that that same man also happened to be his older brother.

Dean took a deep breath and willed his cock to soften. Sam was making him crazy. That's exactly what the smug bastard wanted. He wanted Dean to start moaning like a bitch in heat, tell Sam he needed to speak with him in the other room and then pounce on him. He wanted Dean to go crazy and bend his ass over Bobby's couch and ask Sam to fuck it. Of course that train of though was doing nothing to help his raging boner.

Dean took a few more bites of Bobby's dinner concoction and then pulled his chair back, effectively dislodging Sam's foot.

Sam flashed him a look of disappointment.

To Dean's own astonishment, he almost felt bad. He almost put his chair back and let Sam continue his ministrations. What the hell was wrong with him? He must be seriously mad. He put his hands on the table and hoped and prayed that his boner wasn't going to be extremely obvious when he got up. "Well, thanks Bobby. But, we have more training to do."

Bobby frowned. "Don't you think the boy's proven himself worthy? He's nearly as good a shot as you."

"He doesn't know everything we know about monsters. He still needs more training." And Dean needed more time to figure out how this whole thing was going to go down. He wasn't looking forward to being on the road with the man twenty-four seven in a cramped car.

"Ask me anything." Sam said. He was determined to prove he was ready. He was tired of hanging around Bobby's. Sure, he liked feeling like he had a real home and a real family, but it was pissing him off that he hardly ever seemed to have any real alone time with Dean. He couldn't wait until it was just the two of them…alone, on the road, staying in motel rooms, eating at crappy diners… He needed to get Dean away from Bobby's.

Bobby smiled.

Dean glared at the older man. He still wasn't thrilled with him. For the first four days they'd been staying there Dean hadn't spoken more than two words to the man. Eventually he'd grown too tired to be angry. He was more upset with his father anyway. But, it didn't do much good to be angry with a dead man. Logically, he knew that his father had been the one who wronged him, but that didn't make Bobby's part in it seem better.

"I'm serious." Sam replied. "Test me. See if I meet your standards." Sam would love to meet Dean's standards sexually, that was for damn sure.

Dean glared at Sam. "This isn't a game, Sam. This is serious. You could get us killed if you don't know what you're doing in there."

Sam nodded, "I know that." He hated how intense Dean was being. He wanted to kiss those worry lines away. "I'm not playing a game, Dean. I've done everything that you've asked of me. I've studied and paid attention. I know how to use a gun, a knife. I know how to bust down a door if I need to. I can back you up. You can trust me."

Bobby looked back and forth between them and sighed. "I'm going to go clean something…" He didn't want to get in the middle of a conversation that seemed to be about a lot more than hunting.

Dean frowned when Bobby left. In some sort of weird way, even though he was still a bit miffed, he actually felt more comfortable when the grumpy old man was around. He folded his arms over his chest. "My dad spent years training me for this job. How can you expect to learn everything in two weeks?"

"You were a kid, Dean. I'm not a child. I'm an adult. I'm used to studying large quantities in a short amount of time. Besides, I'm kind of a natural."

Dean frowned. He hated to admit that. "Doesn't matter. If a ghost were to appear right before us, in this room, you wouldn't know what to do. You wouldn't have the muscle memory and the experience."

"Just how do you expect me to get the experience if you never trust me to do the job?" Sam folded his arms over his chest. He sighed. "We really look like brothers right now."

Dean actually cracked a smile. "Yeah. Kind of strange, but also kind of nice." Dean found his heart warming a little bit, much to his utter chagrin. "I always wished I had a sibling…particularly a brother…who could take the brunt of some of dad's crap."

"Did he ever get violent?" Sam wasn't sure why he asked that question. Dean had never done or said anything to indicate that he was ever abused in any way by their father. The question just kind of came out of thin air.

Dean seemed to retreat into himself. It took him a good twenty seconds before he put his walls back up and asked, "Okay, so a ghost…what do you do?"

"I would grab something made of iron and hit them with it."

"What if you couldn't find anything?"

"Salt would do it too. Many monsters don't like salt…for some reason."

"It's only a temporary solution though. You can't spend the rest of your life making the same ghost disappear and reappear." Dean muttered.

"No shit. You'd have to figure out what's keeping it here. It's usually a piece of genetic material, but it's possible that it could be something that was extremely close to them…something they're clinging to."

Dean nodded. "Okay. How do we get rid of them?"

"You find what's keeping it here and you destroy it. Then you salt and burn the bones and poof, they're gone."

"Okay. What about shape-shifters?"

"Silver. Silver bullet is the most efficient way to waste them. They usually live somewhere underground and can morph into anyone."

"What about demons? We'll probably deal with a lot of them, so you should really be up on your knowledge of them."

Sam nodded. "They react to holy water and salt. You can smoke them out with a rosary or other religious paraphernalia. If you can get them trapped in a devil's trap you can exorcise them and send them back to hell." Sam put his hand up, "Before you ask, I've been reading the spell books. I know how to do an exorcism and how to put a bunch of different spells together. What I don't know I can research while on the case."

Dean didn't say anything. He just studied Sam, his arms unfolding from over his chest. He laid his hand down on the table with a sigh.

Sam reached across the table and captured Dean's hand in his own, quickly, before Dean could pull away. "You have to know that I'm not going to do something reckless and stupid and get either one of us killed. I'm not stupid."

"I know you're not stupid." Dean said. He studied their hands.

"I also know this makes you uncomfortable. And, I'm sorry." Sam whispered. "I'm not trying to piss you off; I just want you to know that it's okay to touch me."

"No, It's not! What part of this is okay?"

"All of it. I've been living here with you and training with you…as another hunter and as your brother…and it hasn't changed how I feel. It's not like I can just turn it off. Can you?"

"I have to." Dean said.

"Who said you had to?"

Dean rolled his eyes, "The world… and Dad would tan my hide if he knew…"

"Dad was an ass. He locked me away because he was too afraid to deal with me. He was a coward. I never met the man and I can tell you that. You're more pissed at him than I am and you still care about what he would think?"

Dean shrugged, "That's what I always did. Hard to change the habit of a lifetime, isn't it?"

"He isn't here anymore, Dean. It's just you and me…and Bobby when we're with him. Dad isn't a part of the equation anymore. He's not coming back. And, if he did, I'd kill him for what he did to both of us. It didn't have to go down like it did. We could've just grown up together. But, it wasn't like that. We met as two strangers in a bar. We didn't know. But, stuff happened and we can't undo it. Just like I can't undo my feelings for you. They're not just going to disappear. I know you want them to, at least your brain does anyway, but it doesn't work that way."

Dean groaned. "I'll admit that I've been dreading going on the road with you. I'm dreading the entire thing."

"You'd love it if I just went back to college and forgot about this, wouldn't you?"

Dean shrugged. "It's not how you think."

"Oh sure." Sam muttered.

"I do wish you'd go back to college…but because I want you to have the things I never could and because it's hard having you around. I see you and I remember…and then I get mad at myself for thinking it and mad at Dad for causing it. It's just awkward."

Sam let go of Dean's hand. "I know. But, it's not like either of us chose this. We didn't plan this to go down like this. I just think it's too late to change it now. We're stuck with each other…at least in one way or another. We're brothers. But, we're more than brothers. I don't think time or distance, or anything else, is ever going to change that."

Dean swallowed hard. He knew that Sam was right. He knew that his feelings for Sam were more complex than that. He also knew that he was feeling things for Sam that he never felt for anyone before. It was intense and scary and exciting…all rolled in to one. He sighed, "What are we going to do?"

Sam shrugged. He knew he was going to continue to lay it out there. He was going to keep telling Dean how he felt and letting Dean see how good it could be if he'd just let it all go. "I don't know exactly what's going to happen. I can tell you what I want to happen. I can't say that I'm not going to keep wanting it to happen. Hell, I'll probably try my damnest to make it happen. But, I won't lie to you, Dean. I won't play games with you, I can promise you that."

Dean nodded.

"I've gotten to know you pretty well in the last few weeks and I wouldn't try if I didn't think you actually really wanted me to."

Dean actually cracked a smile. "I'm not saying that I don't want you to. I just…I don't know if I'm going to be able to, you know?" It would be easy to fall into Sam's arms and make mad, passionate love to him. It would be easy to succumb, but it just wasn't that cut and dry for him.

Sam smiled. He knew it was just a matter of time. He could wait…maybe.


	11. Chapter 11

AN: I hope you guys like this chapter! There will be 14 in total :) 12 Should be coming at you within a day or two!

*I'm sorry about Jake and Morgan!

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Chapter 11

Later that evening, Sam went out and picked them up some take-out. He was sure to pick out stuff that he knew Dean would love…including a piece of cherry pie. Nothing put Dean into as good a mood as a good piece of pie. It didn't take Sam very long to discover this about his older brother. It made him laugh to think about the way Dean ate pie…it was like a religious experience.

Dean spent the time apart talking to Bobby about a possible hunt. He didn't want to think about the conversation he'd had with Sam in the kitchen. He also didn't want Bobby to be thinking about it either. The thought of Bobby knowing about their intimate affairs made his skin crawl.

"Well, it's your call. If you think he's ready then you should do it. It should be a fairly easy case." Bobby said.

Dean sighed. He nodded. "Yeah, he can probably handle it. I'll talk to him about it when he gets back." Dean had been grateful for the slight break from each other and for the fact that he knew that Sam was buying food. It made him want to sing the Hallelujah chorus, but he didn't know how. He was also a terrible singer.

Bobby said goodnight and retired to his room. He didn't normally go to bed at 9, but he also didn't want to be hanging around the house when Sam got back. He knew that the brothers had a lot of stuff they were dealing with and he didn't want to be in the middle of it.

If Bobby was being honest he would say that he wanted them to go on the hunt. He loved having Dean around and it was nice getting to know Sam, but he didn't like all the sexual tension…it was giving him the willies.

Dean was both relieved and disappointed to see Bobby leave. He knew that things would be less awkward if he wasn't there, but Sam usually toned it down when Bobby was around. He had no idea what would happen now that the older hunter had retired to his room. Would Sam try to put the moves on him again? Would Dean let him? Dean didn't know but the whole thing was giving him a headache.

* * *

When Sam got back to Bobby's he found Dean passed out on the couch with the television tuned into a mindless cartoon and the remote in his hand. He smiled to himself. Dean was absolutely adorable with his mouth partially open and a bit of drool dribbling down the side of his mouth. "Dean." He said, shaking Dean awake. "I come bearing food."

Dean wiped the sleep from his eyes and looked up at his little brother. He smiled.

Sam smiled back. Dean looked really peaceful and happy. He, clearly, wasn't fully awake yet. It became really clear when Dean was awake and processing, because the walls were put up and the mask was back in place.

"What'd you get?"

"Got me a salad and you a burger and fries. And…I got you some pie."

Dean grinned. "God, I could just kiss you right now." As soon as he'd said it, he wished he hadn't.

Sam moved closer, coming to rest on the coffee table in front of Dean. "There's an idea."

Dean blushed and tried to put distance between them. "We should eat before the food gets cold."

"Screw the food." Sam said. "Bobby's got a microwave for a reason." He moved closer.

Dean jumped up off the couch and reached into the bag of food and pulled out the stuff that was his. "I'll go get us a couple beers to go with this."

Sam sighed. He wished Dean wouldn't be so damn jumpy, but he was actually kind of starting to enjoy the cat and mouse game. He just hoped that he would eventually catch that sexy little mouse.

Dean brought the food back out to the table. It was the safest place he could think to eat. The couch was entirely too comfortable. They would have to sit together and maybe Sam's arm and leg would rub against Dean's. Maybe Dean wouldn't be able to handle himself and he'd lose his mind and start to kiss that hot mouth of Sam's. Dean closed his eyes. He took a sip of his beer. Fuck. He really needed to get Sam out of his head.

Sam brought his food into the kitchen and sat down at the table beside his brother. He smiled, "So, you must be working me too hard or something. You were out so cold that you were drooling."

"I don't drool." Dean replied in disgust.

Sam snickered, "I must've imaged it then."

"Yeah, you must've. Dean Winchester doesn't drool."

Sam just grinned.

"Quit looking at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like you're just humoring me."

"I am just humoring you."

"Well, stop."

Sam raised his eyebrow, "Maybe I should've let you sleep. Clearly you're a bit grumpy."

"Sorry." He sighed, "Look, for what it's worth, I'm pretty sure I've found your first hunt."

Sam perked up. He sat up straighter in his chair and listened intently. "Really? You're going to trust me to not get us killed?"

Dean sighed, "I guess I deserved that. But, yeah. Bobby found me a case. It's a ghost, I believe. A woman in white. I've got all Bobby's info in the living room. Case is in Jericho, California. We can get into specifics later. Right now I just want to eat my burger and have a few blissful moments."

"Okay, we could just sit here, eat and talk about us." Sam said. He pretended to be serious, when he was really just trying…and succeeding…to annoy Dean.

"Okay, so about this case…" Dean started, changing the subject back.

Sam smiled.

* * *

They drove to Jericho and got themselves a motel room. Dean really wanted to get two separate rooms, but Sam insisted on just the one. It was cheaper that way too. And, Dean would be able to watch Sam's back if he was there with him. In the end, Dean had to admit that Sam had some good points.

Sam smiled as he stepped inside. "It's kind of a dump, but it looks clean from what I can see." He shrugged and sat down on one of the beds.

"No you don't." Dean said. "That's my bed." He wanted to be sure to get the bed closest to the door. If someone came in he wanted to put himself as a target between them and Sam.

"Why?"

Dean rolled his eyes. It annoyed him to have to explain this shit. "If something comes in here to kill us then they have to go through me to get to you. It's just the way it's gotta be."

"But, I want this bed."

Dean lowered his eyes at Sam. "It's not going to work. We're not both going to sleep in that bed."

Sam rolled his eyes, "Well, it is kind of cold in here…."

"No, it's not." Dean replied. "It's gotta be at least 75 in here."

Sam shrugged, "Well, I still call this bed."

"No you don't, Sasquatch. Move it or lose it." Dean wasn't going to let Sam win. He wanted that bed and he wasn't above using underhanded means to get it.

"Why don't you make me?" Sam asked.

One of Dean's eyebrows quirked up. "Are you serious?"

Sam folded his arms over his chest. "Make me."

Dean sighed. He moved forward. He wrapped his arms around Sam's body, picked him up and tossed him over his shoulder. Sam was tall, but he wasn't really muscular. He grunted a bit, the dude weighed more than he looked like he did. He wrapped his arm around the back of Sam's thighs, just below his ass, and he carried him to the other bed, tossing him down onto it. "There. You sleep here and I'll sleep there." He moved back to the other bed and set his back down on it, claiming it.

Sam lay there, his mouth hanging open and his dick pretty much leaking. Holy fucking shit. Dean was stronger than he looked, that was for damn sure.

"Close your mouth. You're catching flies."

Sam closed his mouth. He shook his head, "I didn't see that coming."

"Well, good. It's nice to have the upper hand for once."

Sam pretty much just sat there in stunned silence. Maybe he should've rethought his plan. Because now, instead of him being the smug bastard who ended up with a Dean in his bed, he was now lying there in his own separate bed, looking over at a smug Dean.

* * *

The hunt was small fry to Dean, but for Sam it was a chance to get into the swing of it. He had to admit that he used muscles he'd never used before. He had also nearly been killed when the ghost hitched a ride with him. He'd hated how she had pointed out that he had been unfaithful. It made him feel bad about himself, but then he thought of his brother and realized that Dean had never been just a frivolous one night's stand…even that night in the bar. They'd talked and connected. They had shared some special moments together. He had never been able to get Dean out of his mind. It had clearly meant something to him.

Dean was glad that the case was over and that they both lived to tell the tale. He had been worried about Sam being alone, but it had all turned out alright in the end.

They were both a bit banged up, but pretty much whole.

"Hey, we should go to a bar." Dean said. He could really use a beer…or twelve. And he could use a lay as well.

Sam winked, "You want to pretend to be strangers. We could meet and head to the bathroom…"

Dean turned red and started to cough. Shit.

"You okay?"

"No." Dean said through a wheeze. "I was thinking that we should pick up other people. I know I could use a distraction and maybe if you get a little tail you'll find yourself in better spirits."

Sam's spirits had been better before Dean suggested it. This was too much. He didn't want to be with anyone else. He wanted Dean and that was it. "You don't mean that."

Dean shrugged. He knew he didn't. He also knew that he'd been unable to hook up with that other guy in the last bar and he'd barely known Sam at that point. He knew he wouldn't be able to go through with it this time. But, he needed to try, damn it. He needed to get his mind off Sam's hotness. Maybe he could find a chick this time. Maybe that wouldn't bother him quite as much and he could find himself staying in the mood. "Yeah, I mean maybe we could both use a couple of chicks, you know? Something mindless…just get our frustrations out, you know?"

Sam sighed. He didn't say anything as Dean drove them to the nearest bar. He was infuriated. He needed to make Dean see that he didn't want this; that he wanted Dean. He also needed Dean to figure it out that he really wanted Sam and nobody else.

Dean parked the car and looked at his brother. He felt bad. "I know you're upset with me right now. But, I think after you get some you'll find that things can calm down a little bit."

Sam wasn't just upset anymore, he was pissed. "Are you kidding me?! You honestly think this is just about sex for me? You're my brother! I know we fucked before we knew we were related, but still…do you think I'd risk all of this just for a good fuck?! This is not about sex and you know it."

Dean flinched a little bit. He wasn't used to seeing Sam like this. It put him on edge. "Okay, I'm sorry. Let's just go back to the room."

Sam shook his head; his jaw raised in defiance, "No. We're here now, let's just do this." He had told Dean that he wouldn't play games, but he was pissed now.

Dean didn't like that look on Sam's face, but he wasn't going to deny that he really fucking wanted to go to the bar. He hoped if he got a little pussy that he'd feel better. Maybe he could even get his mind off his brother for a few minutes. Yes, it had to be a girl. Being with a guy would make him feel bad, make him think of Sam. But, a girl was harmless. "Okay, Sam."

Sam practically broke the car door by slamming it so hard behind him, but he never said a word. He just pushed passed Dean and walked into the bar. He made his way into the bar and started scoping out people. He knew the kind of person he was looking for; he just had to find him.

Dean watched his brother walk off towards the bar so he took the opportunity to peruse the place. He found a couple of girls that met his fancy. One was a brunette with cute features and the other a striking redhead. Well shit if he didn't love him some redhead. He smiled and walked over to her, "Hello there. I'm Dean. Can I buy you a drink?"

* * *

Sam downed his first beer in about two seconds. He asked for another. He tossed that one back almost as fast. He needed to take the edge off. Once he got his third, he slowed down. He noticed the man across the bar checking him out. He smiled at him and waved. The man waved back. He was attractive. He wasn't at all comparable to Dean, but he was pretty good looking. He would do the trick in a pinch.

Sam swaggered over to the man. "Hi." He had drank so fast that he was already feeling a little funny.

The blonde headed man smiled. "Hi yourself. I'm Jake."

Sam smiled, "Sam."

"I'd ask you if I could get you a drink, but I just watched you chugging two just now."

Sam smiled, "That was nothing. I can put away a ton more of these." He swallowed some more of the bitter liquid and smiled. "This is a pretty nice place."

"Yeah. I come here a lot. Nice place to meet people and unwind."

Sam smiled and drained the rest of his third beer. He was desperately in need of a fourth.

* * *

Dean was turning on all the classic charm. He had Morgan wrapped around his pinky. He could've gotten her to do anything and everything that he wanted. He didn't even feel that bad about it. He laughed about whatever it was that she was talking about as they headed to the bar so that he could get them both something to drink.

"What do you want?" He asked her.

"Hmmm… Strawberry Daiquiri."

Dean smiled and ordered the drinks. It was such a girly drink, but she was definitely all girl. He smiled as he looked her body up and down.

The bartender brought their drinks and Dean handed her the Daiquiri first and then fisted his beer in his hand and drained half of it in his first gulp.

"Seems to be a lot of that chugging stuff going on tonight." The bartender mused.

Dean, who hadn't been paying attention to the man at all, asked "Huh?"

"Some tall kid came in here and drained two down in about two gulps."

Tall kid? Dean raised his eyebrow. "Was he wearing a checkered button-up shirt?" Dean found it really hard to believe that his brother could be the guy that this dude was talking about. It wasn't like Sam to chug, hell the kid barely drank. He probably went through a total of three beers that entire first night they'd spent together.

"Yup, that's the one. You know him?"

"Yeah, he's my brother." Dean said.

"Well, you didn't hear this from me, but your brother just went off to the restroom with Jake Maloney. Jake's um…well, he seems nice, at first, if you catch my drift…"

Shit. Dean flashed Morgan an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry. I need to take care of this…"

She smiled, "It's okay. I understand."

Dean left her with her drink. He set his on the bar and went off to the men's room. When he got inside he could barely breathe with all the cigarette smoke billowing around. He coughed. He could hear voices coming from the second stall. "Sam?!" Dean exclaimed.

Sam froze. Shit. He'd wanted to make Dean jealous when he came in there, but he hadn't actually meant to go to the bathroom with the guy. He was feeling a little woozy. He recovered quickly though and yelled back, "I'm busy, Dean. What do you want?"

"Get out here."

One of Sam's eyebrows quirked up. "I said I'm busy."

"Leave us alone, asshole!" Jake yelled.

Dean had been distancing himself from it…that was until he heard the guy's voice. Something inside of him snapped. He nearly tore the door to that stall right off its hinges. Sam was halfway undressed and his dick was currently shoved down the other guy's throat.

Sam ran a hand through his hair. This was so fucking awkward.

Dean pulled them apart.

"What the fuck, jackass?! I saw him first!" Jake exclaimed. He punched Dean in the jaw.

That was it.

Sam winced before anything happened. He knew that Dean was going to wipe the floor with this guy.

Dean shoved Jake back against the wall, his hand gripping at a handful of the top of the creep's shirt. "Don't you fucking touch him!"

"You snooze you lose, pal."

Dean pushed him harder, his head hitting the wall a couple times. "He isn't yours to touch!"

"Oh yeah? I didn't see a brand on his ass!"

Dean wrapped his hand tightly around the guy's throat, cutting off his air supply. "Well, if there was one it would say Dean fucking Winchester! Get the hell out of here before I kill you!" Dean let go of Jake.

Jake gasped for breath and nearly ran from the bathroom.

Sam had his pants halfway back up. His eyes were wide as saucers and he looked at Dean. Then his face broke out in a grin. "Property of Dean fucking Winchester!" Then he threw up on Dean's boots.


	12. Chapter 12

AN: I have a feeling this is the chapter that you guys have been waiting for :)

* * *

Chapter 12

Sam woke the next morning with a groan. He was uncomfortable. He sat up and tried to stretch out his muscles. Why the hell had he been propped up in bed like that? He looked over and spotted Dean cleaning his gun on his own bed.

Dean looked over at Sam, unimpressed.

"Dean…"

"Yeah?" Dean asked.

Sam tried to get some moisture back into his throat. "What the fuck happened? How did I get here?"

Dean sighed, "What the hell were you thinking chugging beers? You're a fucking lightweight. You're one of the two percent that actually did school work in college. You're not cut out for chugging."

"I was mad." Sam sighed.

Dean set his gun aside and got up from the bed. He went to the small refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of water. "Here, drink this."

Sam took the bottle happily. His throat was so dry. As he drank he went back through his memories of the previous evening. His eyes widened in surprise, "Did you really almost kill that guy in the bathroom?"

Dean glared at Sam. "I had to. You put me into the situation."

"You told me to get laid. That's why we went there."

"Yeah, I wanted you to hook up with a girl…not some pervert with a horrible reputation."

"I didn't think it mattered. Clearly you wanted me to get my mind off you. That was the point, wasn't it? So, why would you care if I shacked up with another guy?"

Dean practically growled, "You could've gotten yourself hurt, that's why! The bartender told me he wasn't a very nice guy. There's no telling what he might've done! Hell, maybe he even drugged you…or would've if you hadn't gone along with his plans."

Sam made a face, "I'm not a baby, Dean. I can handle myself."

"Oh right." Dean muttered. "You can't even hold your fucking alcohol. You puked on my damn boots. I had to rinse them in the sink so I could get in the car."

Sam winced, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have drank so fast, I guess."

"No shit." Dean muttered.

Sam sighed, "You're acting madder than you should about me accidentally puking on you."

Dean ran his hand over his face, "I keep seeing you…with that guy's mouth on you. I can't believe you let him touch you and suck on you like that. Would you have let him fuck you?"

Sam shrugged, "Probably."

Dean growled, "You're a virgin, damn it! You would've just let some asshole take that from you?"

Sam didn't understand what Dean was so bent out of shape over. "I met up with you at a bar and took your anal virginity." Sam shrugged, "Why does it matter?"

"How many people you ever had sex with, Sam?" Dean asked.

"Two. Okay? Just you and Jessica. I didn't exactly have a ton of great options in the funny farm I grew up in!"

Dean sighed, "Exactly. Before we hooked up the only person you'd been with was your long-term girlfriend. You're innocent."

One of Sam's eyebrows quirked up, "I grew up in a home for evil children. I think I'm pretty far from being innocent."

"Do you know how many people I've had sex with?"

Sam just looked at his brother.

"Neither do I. I've lost count. I've been with countless numbers of women and quite a few men."

"Is this supposed to make me feel better? Even though you were with them you'd never taken it up the ass before. You let me be your first. I never did figure out why."

Dean shrugged, "It just wasn't that important to me as it should be to you."

"Look, Dean. I remember what you said to that guy. I know you weren't just upset about my taste in guys or that I might've let him be my first time. It's more than that and you know it."

Dean folded his arms over his chest and glared at his brother. "I got mad and overreacted last night. I shouldn't have said those things."

"Yes, you should've." Sam whispered. He got out of the bed and moved to Dean's bed. He reached out and placed his hand over Dean's heart, "I do belong to you, Dean. And, I set out to make you jealous, make you stake your claim, but I drank too fast and let things get a little out of hand. I didn't really like that guy…not really. He was okay. But, if I had been sober, nothing would've happened."

"Sounds to me like you were playing games with me. You said you weren't going to do that."

"You brought me to the bar to meet up with some random chick and screw her. I didn't want to, but you insisted. And you were going to do that too…with that redhead."

"You saw her."

"Of course I saw her. I couldn't stop looking around for you. I needed to know what you were doing…who you were doing." Sam's words left a bitter taste in his mouth. "I was mad that you insisted that we go there."

"I'm sorry, Sam. I thought it would be for the best." Dean muttered. He felt really bad. "I didn't end up doing anything with her."

"Because you came running in after me, like my knight in shining armor, rather than focusing on her. But, you would've done it."

"I would've tried, but I can't guarantee that it would've worked."

Sam flashed Dean a look of intense curiosity.

"I never told you this, but I went back to that same bar when I came back into town and picked up another guy."

Sam drew in his breath. "That's great. I'm so glad you're sharing this with me."

"You didn't let me finish. I couldn't do it. I kept looking over at the spot where you took me…I kept thinking about you. It didn't make sense. I didn't think I'd ever see you again. It was illogical for me to feel the way I did. I've never felt like that about anyone else before." Why was Dean saying all of this crap?

Sam smiled and moved closer to Dean. "How long are we going to dance around this? How long are you going to fight this? It's clear that we both want it, we both feel it. Why can't we just be honest with ourselves?" By that comment, Sam really meant why couldn't Dean just be honest with himself about his feelings?

"Sometimes I ask myself why I bother fighting it. But, then I remember that you're my brother…and I've never had a real relationship before. Dad made sure I never stayed in one place long enough to develop connections. You're the first person I've ever wanted to try with."

"You're scared. You're scared that you're doing something wrong, something that your dad wouldn't have been pleased with. More than likely, if he were alive he'd have beaten you or at least made you feel like a piece of shit. But, again, he's not here anymore." Sam ran his hands over Dean's chest and back, "I think you're also scared to get too attached. You're afraid that you won't be good at the relationship thing and you're afraid that something will happen to me."

"It's not illogical. Especially now that you're hunting…now that you're in more danger. Everyone around me dies, so why shouldn't you? Or maybe I'll die first. But, it doesn't matter. It won't work out; I won't get to be happy. Life has made that perfectly clear."

"Shhh." Sam hushed him. He hadn't realized just how damaged Dean actually was, not completely anyway. He kissed softly at the soft skin below Dean's ear. "It's okay. Everything is okay. I'm not going to hurt you and I'm going to do everything I can to stay alive. I want to be with you, I want to love you."

Tears started rolling down Dean's cheeks. He didn't say a word.

Sam didn't realize at first that Dean was crying. It didn't dawn on him until he reached his hand over to gently caress one of Dean's bristly cheeks. He gasped and pulled back to look at him, "Hey, it's okay. It's going to be okay." Sam's heart hurt in his chest. He wiped Dean's tears away and marveled at the way that Dean leaned his face against his hand. It was the most open and vulnerable he'd ever been with Sam. It shocked Sam, but also made him feel incredible special. "Will you let me take care of you, Dean?"

Dean sighed, but eventually nodded.

Sam wrapped his hand around Dean's jaw and turned his face to him. He reached forward and captured Dean's lips with his own. The kiss was soft and gentle, lips barely touching lips. He felt Dean sigh and open his mouth. Sam took that opportunity to deepen the kiss. He slipped his tongue into Dean's mouth. He mapped it out, explored every corner, tasting him and drinking him in. Dean's mouth felt amazing against his. Tongues danced together and caressed each other. The kiss was unhurried and passionate.

Sam's hands sought Dean's spikes. He couldn't get enough. He needed to be as close as possible to the man he was falling desperately in love with, more and more every minute. And now that he had seen Dean's vulnerable side, he was even more deeply invested in this. He wanted to make everything okay.

Dean, too, wanted to make things okay for Sam. He knew that Sam had grown up lonely and confused. He wished he could take that away from him. He wished he'd always been there to love him, take care of him and be his best friend. He wished his brother never had to go through life thinking he was a freak of nature, when he clearly wasn't. Even yellow eyes bleeding into Sam's mouth hadn't taken away the goodness that was inside of him.

Sam pulled back to look at Dean's face again. "You okay? You're not going to hulk out on me, are you? You're also not going to put those walls back up, right?"

Dean just sighed and looked down at his hands.

Sam forced Dean to look at him again. "I'm serious. You don't have to keep yourself hidden from me. It's not necessary."

"I'm sorry." Dean whispered. "I should be taking care of you. I should be trying to make up for all the lost time, make up for what happened to you."

Sam shook his head, "I'm okay, Dean. I know I had a rotten life, but I don't see how yours was much better."

"If I'd been a better brother I'd have figured out about you or would've stopped him in the first place."

"You were four, Dean. You can't be held responsible for it. And, he used magic to keep your memories from you. What happened to me isn't your fault. You don't need to torture yourself to make up for what happened. And, I love that you're my brother, but that's not how I need you the most. I just want to love you and be loved by you. It doesn't have to be complicated. We don't even have to tell people that we're brothers. Only Bobby has to know."

Dean nodded. "Okay Sam. I'll do my best."

"It's okay." Sam whispered. "You think you don't know how to love and have a relationship, but given everything I've ever seen of you, I think you know how to love more deeply than anyone I've ever met. Just trust yourself. I don't need anything fancy or complicated. I just need you."

The last little bit of Dean's resolve completely faded away in that moment. He reached for Sam, pulling him close and kissing him again.

They grasped at each other desperately, like they were afraid the other might disappear. Dean's hand went into Sam's hair as he deepened the kiss, trying to convey to Sam how much he loved and wanted him.

Sam shifted so that he was straddling Dean's hips, his body leaning over Dean's. He was breathing Dean's air and when he shifted just about a millimeter, he could feel Dean's raging boner against his own. He couldn't help it, he moaned softly.

Dean's hands wrapped around Sam's body and came to rest over Sam's perky ass. "God, I love your ass. So sexy, so perfect."

Sam's entire body felt too hot, felt like he was burning alive. There was something he desperately wanted, something he needed, but he was afraid that if he asked for it that Dean would put distance between them again. "Please…I want…I need…"

Dean looked at Sam with all the openness he could muster. He wasn't planning on running. Never again. "What is it?" He asked softly, "What do you need?"

Sam turned red and he found himself studying the collar of Dean's shirt. "Would you maybe…could you…would you please fuck me?"

"No."

Sam's eyes widened. He was afraid of that. He went rigid and gripped onto Dean's shoulders tightly.

Dean shook his head, "No, Sam. I won't fuck you, but I will make love to you."

Sam gasped for breath. He was pretty sure that this moment had been the best of his life. It would soon be topped though. "You will?"

Dean smiled, "Yeah. I've never done it before, not really…but if I'm ever going to do it with anyone, it would be you."

Big fat tears filled Sam's eyes and slid down his face.

Dean leaned forward and kissed them away, hushing him and gently stroking over Sam's back.

"I thought you weren't good at the romantic stuff."

"I'm not."

"Well, it's working for me." Sam whispered.

Dean smiled, "I'm glad." He slipped his hands under Sam's shirt and gently ran his hands over the soft skin.

Sam ripped his shirt over his head and tossed it onto the floor. Then he grabbed Dean's hands and placed them over his chest.

Dean smiled as his lightly traced Sam's hardening nipples. He placed soft kisses to Sam's neck and shoulder and held onto Sam's writhing body. "You like that?"

Sam, as it turned out, was a sucker for having his nipples played with. He was about to blow his load and Dean hadn't even touched his cock yet. "Yeah Dean, love you touching me. Makes me feel so good."

Dean slid his hand into the back of Sam's pants and lightly caressed over the slit between his cheeks. He felt Sam's body tremble against his and smiled into Sam's neck. "Help me get your pants off, baby."  
Sam wasn't sure he could even think straight, but he did manage to help Dean get those jeans off. They were wadded up and thrown onto the floor beside his shirt. All that Sam had left was his underwear.

"When I think about that guy touching you…it makes me sick."

"Shhh." Sam hushed. "He meant nothing to me. You mean everything."

Dean smiled and flipped them so that Sam was on his back on the bed. Dean quickly shucked out of his own clothes. He smiled down at a very horny Sam, who was currently drinking in the sight of Dean's completely naked body.

Sam licked his lips. Dean was positively edible. "Shit, you're so hard."

Dean smiled, "All for you."

Sam waved Dean over. He couldn't wait to have Dean inside of him, filling him up and making him feel so good. "Want you so bad."

Dean kissed his way down Sam's body, licking and tasting as he went. He skipped over the area beneath Sam's underwear and moved right down his legs and feet.

Sam laughed when Dean sucked a toe into his mouth. "Shit, that feels weird."

Dean smiled and slid back up Sam's body. He reached out to lightly stroke Sam's raging boner through the underwear. He smiled at the way that Sam arched his back into his hand and moaned.

"Oh yeah. So good." Dean hadn't even done much yet and Sam was pretty much out of his mind with pleasure. Sam's hand reached down to remove his underwear, "Need these off."

Dean chuckled to himself. "Patience is a virtue, Sam."

"I feel like I've been waiting forever for this."

"Hmmm. Well, hopefully I can make it worth your wait."

Sam smiled, watching as Dean slid the cotton fabric down Sam's legs.

Dean immediately moaned. "You're so red." Sam's erection was nearly purple. He bent down and slipped it into his mouth. He needed to wash the memories of that asshole swallowing him down from his mind. He silently berated himself for even thinking about that in that moment.

Sam couldn't think about anything…not with Dean's delicious mouth wrapped around him. The way Dean was sucking and licking over the underside made him gasp and moan.

Dean slipped his fingers down to Sam's entrance, while still sucking. He wanted to keep Sam distracted. He very lightly traced his fingers around the entrance.

Sam gasped. "Need…lube."

Dean nodded and moved to his pack for the bottle he'd stashed in there. He came back and set it beside Sam's hip.

Sam reached for it and Dean lightly pushed Sam's hand aside.

"I want to slick you up in my own way first."

Oh God. Was Dean about to do what he thought he was about to do? He had his answer when he felt the soft texture of Dean's tongue sliding erotically up and down the crease of his ass. Holy shit, that felt good. "Oh yes, oh fuck yes." Sam whimpered.

Dean lapped at him, loving the taste of his musk on his tongue. He slowly pressed his tongue inside, feeling Sam's walls opening up for him. It was amazing to Dean how much he was enjoying himself. This shouldn't be quite as enjoyable as it was. His hands slid up Sam's body, one hand wrapping around Sam's oozing cock and the other sliding up to tweak and fondle at a nipple.

"Oh God, so good! I'm gonna…"

Dean pulled back. He wasn't ready to let that happen yet. "Not yet, baby. Just take a deep breath and hang on for me."

Sam tried to do as Dean said. He wanted to make Dean happy, but he really wanted to come too.

"That's a good boy." Dean muttered. He pulled Sam's thighs further apart, his body shifting between those spread thighs. "I just need to get a couple fingers in there first."

Sam wasn't sure he was going to live through this. "Okay, okay. I'll try and be good."

Dean smiled and slicked up a finger. He moved it to the hole and pressed it inside. "Hmmm" He moaned. Sam was so tight. He couldn't wait until he was inside that tightness.

Dean took his time. He stretched Sam softly and gently. He brought Sam to the brink of orgasm time after time but always pulled him back from the cliff, not wanting him to reach the pinnacle without him.

Sam felt like he was about to die. Tears were in his eyes and he was desperate. "Please, please. I need it, I want it."

"Shhh. I'm gonna take good care of you." Dean whispered against Sam's skin. He shifted slightly, pressing his pelvis against Sam's. His throbbing, dripping cock rutted up between Sam's butt cheeks. "You want me to get a condom?"

Sam frantically shook his head, "No. Don't stop, just do it."

Dean had never done anyone else without a condom. It was something else special and unique to Sam. He placed his hands underneath Sam's ass and lifted his hips slightly, pressing his erection to the entrance.

Sam held his breath. He was nervous, but incredibly excited.

Dean shook his head, bending down to kiss Sam's soft lips, "Breathe. Just breathe and stay relaxed. I don't want to hurt you."

Sam nodded, letting out the breath he'd been holding. He just looked at Dean, really studied his face…the soft curve of his perfect mouth, those deep green eyes that he could get lost in and the gentle speckling of freckles on his cheeks. Dean was quite a sight to behold. He was angelic. Watching Dean's face took all the fear away and he barely noticed the burning and stretching as Dean slid himself home.

Home. There was no other way that either of them could describe the sensation. Their bodies were connected, fused together in the most intimate of ways. They were completely open and exposed to each other, both of them holding tightly onto the other for strength and support.

Dean's mouth found Sam's as he started to move. Nothing in Dean's craptastic life had ever felt like this. He never thought he'd ever see a moment like this. It was truly magical. "I love you, Sam." He whispered.

Sam's eyes watered again. "I love you too, Dean. You mean the world to me. Never want to let you go."

Dean shook his head, "Only death could ever separate us and if I have anything to say or do about it, that won't even keep us apart." Wow, Dean was turning into a real sap. Part of him wanted to punch himself. But, he didn't really care that much. He just wanted and needed Sam; the other shit didn't really mean anything.

They came together in a frenzied peak of passion, clinging to each other, bodies dripping with sweat and each other's names coming out in soft gasps on each other's lips.

Dean's spent dick slipped out of Sam's ass. Sam was a sticky mess. Neither of them cared. They clung to each other, kissing and promising each other their undying love. That night, Dean completely and willingly cuddled up in Sam's arms and fell asleep with a genuine smile on his face.


	13. Chapter 13

AN: This chapter isn't quite as epic as the last one, but we have plot to deal with in this one :) I hope you guys like it! Just one more left after this.

* * *

Chapter 13

A couple days later they were on their way to Blackwater Ridge to hunt what Bobby was pretty sure was a wendigo. Dean was not looking forward to camping out in the middle of the woods, but he was also sure that was how things were going to end up going down. Besides, he'd have much rather stayed in that motel room in Jericho, making love to Sam day in and day out.

Sam studied Dean's clenched jaw. "We don't have to go on this hunt, you know." He'd have rather stayed in Dean's arms as well.

Dean sighed, "Unfortunately this is the job…you signed up for it."

"Well, I'd sign up for just about anything to be with you."

Dean cracked a smile, "That's pretty sweet, Sam."

Sam reached over and took Dean's hand in his, "I'm so glad you aren't fighting this anymore."

Dean looked at Sam for a second and then back to the road. "I've been doing some thinking…"

"About?"

"That place you grew up."

Sam went rigid, "Oh?"

"I just think that maybe we should do something about it."

"By something you mean, what exactly?"

Dean shrugged, "I don't know for sure, but I think we need to get those kids out of there."

"The problem is that they have nowhere else to go. Their wonderful parents handed them over, gave them up. They're not just going to suddenly believe that their kid isn't evil, just because we say they aren't."

"Yes, but don't you think they'd be better off in a real orphanage than that place? That way they'd stand a chance of finding a family who might actually want them. Or, maybe someone in the family might find out and reach out to them."

Sam knew that Dean was feeling guilty again. He caressed Dean's hand with his thumb and whispered, "We've been through this, Dean. What happened to me was not your fault. There wasn't anything you could've done to stop it. And, you didn't know he was hiding it, so why would you go looking?"

Sam had a point. Sam always had a point, but Dean could be incredibly stubborn when he wanted to be. He decided to change tactics, "What was it like there? Did they ever hurt you?"

Sam frowned. He wanted to wipe that sad look off his brother's face. "No, not really. Not everyone was nice, but I figured out real quickly that if I followed the rules and kept out of trouble that I would be left alone. I got along with everyone, pretty much because I kept to myself. And, because I got good grades, studied hard and didn't try and create trouble, I was rewarded with my own room in my teen years. Nobody else had their own room."

"So, you were like a hardcore stuck-up then?" Dean asked with a smirk. "Of course it would be my brother who was the resident nerd."

Sam scoffed, "I wasn't a nerd, I just didn't want them to make my life difficult. I did hear of some experiments that were done on some of the other kids. I never witnessed anything, but I heard rumors and rumblings about it. I don't know what was true and what was just made up horror stories."

Dean made a face. "So, you're saying that your experience was mild, but that it could've been a lot worse. Well, that does nothing to endear me to the place. I'm glad nothing bad happened to you, but it must've been bad for other kids. I can't let this place continue to exist." Dean didn't understand how anyone could've allowed such a place to even be created in the first place. Sure, sometimes parents got desperate when they thought their child was evil, but weren't parents supposed to love their children, despite their flaws? It made him sick to think that his own father was one of these people. How could the man have been so cold and heartless? Sam was just a little baby at the time; he certainly couldn't have done anything wrong.

"I know you're thinking about something, Dean. Care to share with the class?"

"Just thinking about dad. I can't believe he could put you in there. You were only six months old, it wasn't like your head was turning all the way around and you were spitting up pea soup or anything."

"Well, this demon did something to me, changed me in some way. We don't know who I would've been if he hadn't done it. Maybe I'd have been more like you."

Dean's brow furrowed, "Huh? More like me? I'm way more fucked up than you are."

"I don't believe that." Sam argued. "You have a stronger sense of right and wrong. You fight for people you don't even know and would give the shirt off your back for a stranger. You're probably the type who would've purposely gotten into trouble in that place just so you could know what the other kids had to go through."

Dean sighed, "There's no telling what I would've done if I'd spent my entire life in a place like that. I might've figured out a way to kill all the people in charge and free everyone."

Sam smiled, "That does sound like you. You're the heroic type. I didn't worry about other people. I just focused on myself. You're not like that."

"Don't make me out to be some saint. I'm hardly an innocent person. I've killed before, I've had sex with pretty much anything that moved and I don't really think twice about stolen credit cards and pretending to be a fed. These are not the actions of a morally sound person."

"You do what you have to do to save lives."

"What am I doing, curing cancer with my magic come?" Dean rolled his eyes.

Sam laughed, "It is kind of magical."

And, with that, Dean decided to drop the subject entirely.

* * *

Sam was not a fan of the wendigo case. For one thing, he didn't like the way that Haley girl was looking at Dean and the way that Dean would look back at her in response. He knew it was merely the habit of a lifetime for Dean. He hadn't suddenly fallen for some chick they barely even knew, but it bothered him just the same. He was going to have to have a talk with Dean about the flirting.

Another thing that set Sam off about the case was the fact that Dean had purposely tried to draw out the monster and make himself a target. That might've worked in pre-Sam world, but it wasn't going to work anymore. Sam couldn't let Dean purposely try and get himself killed. It just couldn't happen, not anymore.

He was pretty sure that the thing that bothered him the absolute most about the case was that this wendigo, and all others like it, had started out human. They had over time been changed into this creature because they'd been forced into cannibalism. It made Sam think about himself. What if something drastic happened and Sam was forced into doing something that opened himself up to the powers of evil? What if it were the only way to save himself or Dean? He knew he wouldn't stop at anything if he could keep them safe…especially Dean. He wasn't about to let something stop him if he could save the man he loved. And, to think that a moment of desperation could turn him into something that would make his brother not love him anymore…it made him feel sick inside.

Dean hadn't been too thrilled with the case either. He'd slipped up and allowed himself to flirt with the girl…something he knew better than to do. Sam had also been put into danger, even though he'd tried so hard to keep him and the other family safe. To think that the wendigo had been right up in Sam's face like that…it was a damn good thing he'd been there to kill it.

Once the thing was dead and they'd called the ambulance, they headed out. They weren't going to stick around and have people start asking too many questions that they couldn't answer.

They got into the car and Dean frowned, "Shit. You almost got killed in there."

Sam sighed, "But, I didn't."

"But, if I hadn't gotten there in time…don't you see why it was hard for me to want to let you do this in the first place?"

Sam nodded, "Yeah, but do you think it's easier for me to see you in danger? I wanted to kill you myself when you went off and tried to get that thing to come after you. You aren't bait, Dean. I don't like that shit."

Dean sighed, "I'm sorry, Sam. I've always hunted more recklessly than I ever wanted you to. I don't want you doing stupid shit that could get you killed, but me…I've been doing this for years."

"Doesn't make it okay. Doesn't make you less susceptible to death than I am. Besides, if a demon bled into my mouth then they must've had a reason. I'm probably safer than you are on these hunts."

Dean chewed that one over for a little bit. He didn't like that sad truth one bit. He nearly growled as he put the car on the road and they headed back to the motel they were staying at. He leaned over and turned on the local classic rock station, something he'd sought out just as soon as he'd gotten into town. 'I Was Made For Lovin' You' by Kiss started to play and Dean smiled as he started singing along.

Sam laughed as he listened to Dean sing in his deep baritone…badly. Dean also made sure to change the word 'girl' to the word 'Sam.' It made Sam laugh even harder.

_I was made for lovin' you baby; you were made for lovin' me. And I can't get enough of you baby. Can you get enough of me?_

"Absolutely not." Sam replied with a wide grin on his face.

Dean grinned back, his eyes twinkling.

"Does this mean I'm going to get laid tonight?"

Dean just winked at his brother.

* * *

They got back to the motel and Dean nearly attacked Sam's face. "Shit, when I thought something bad was going to happen to you…"

Sam shook his head, kissing Dean back. Against Dean's lips he whispered, "It's okay. I'm fine, you saved me."

Dean's eyes closed and he drank Sam in, his hands in Sam's hair. He couldn't seem to get Sam's body close enough to him. "I need you, Sam, need to be inside of you."

Sam moaned. He needed it too, would always need it. "Yeah Dean. Take me, I'm yours."

Dean placed his hand on Sam's chest, over his heart and whispered, "Mine."

Sam smiled, covering Dean's hand with his own, "Yours."

They grasped at each other, a desperate mass of limbs, and somehow managed to find their way to the bed, where they dropped, desperately ripping at each other's clothes in a mad frenzy. Dean tried not to rush it, tried to make it last, but he couldn't seem to get his body to listen.

Sam didn't care. He wanted it just as intensely as Dean. He wanted everything that Dean had to give him. He just let himself be taken and claimed.

Their lovemaking, counter to last time, was passionate and intense. They came together, clawing at each other and nearly screaming out each other's names.

* * *

As they were laying there in their post-orgasmic haze, Sam traced little heart shapes on Dean's back and whispered, "You're right. We should do something about that place."

Dean raised his head a little and opened his eyes so he could look at his brother's face. "What made you change your mind?"

Sam shrugged, "Maybe it was the way you risked your life back there for those siblings…maybe it was the way they stuck together. I'm not sure. It all just made me realize that those kids in that place don't have anyone else. They don't have anyone to look out for them. I never had anyone looking out for me, but I do now. I have you and that means more to me than anything ever could. Maybe I…we…could be people to look out for them."

Dean smiled, "I can't believe Dad ever thought you'd be evil."

"I'm not making excuses for it." Sam said, "But, it makes me feel less angry if I put myself into his position. He just lost his wife and something really bad happened to his son. He didn't know what was going to happen. He knew he was going to take you and go on the road and hunt down the thing that killed his wife…but he didn't know what else to do with me. He was afraid I was going to be evil and he would have to kill me or I'd hurt you…so he did what he thought he had to do. It doesn't make it right, certainly, but I can sort of understand when I distance myself from it."

Dean sighed, "It doesn't matter what that demon did to you. You don't desert your family. I'd never, ever desert you, Sam. I need you to know that. I don't care what you end up doing…I don't care if you become the devil himself, I'll never stop loving you or trying to save you. You never have to worry about that."

Sam kissed Dean softly, "I can also promise that I will do everything I possibly can to prevent anything bad from happening. I don't want to be evil. I don't know what he wants from me, but I have no interest in fulfilling it. I will fight tooth and nail for you, Dean."

Dean smiled, softly nibbling at Sam's jaw line. "I love you."

"God, I love you too. I always will. No matter what."

"We should probably go back to Bobby's."

"That's what you want to do right now?"

Dean shrugged, "Well, not right now. Right now I want to cuddle and fall asleep with you. But tomorrow, tomorrow we should head back there. We can find out all that he knows about the place and figure out a game plan."

Sam smiled, "Dean Winchester wants to cuddle?"

"Shut up."

Sam laughed.

* * *

The next morning, they loaded up the car and headed back to Bobby's. It was annoying that they'd have to drive to South Dakota and then to Kansas in such a short period of time, but Dean loved the open road and Sam was starting to get used to it.

They switched drivers somewhere in the middle of their seventeen hour trip so that they could drive straight through. They didn't care if Bobby would have to wait up late for them to get in, he could deal.

They arrived back at Bobby's house around midnight. They were both tired and hungry. They'd stopped for gas and some snacks when they switched drivers but they hadn't eaten a real meal since they started out.

Bobby let them in and said, "Chinese is on the table."

"God bless you!" Dean said. He had to hold himself back from kissing him. Even Dean had a few scruples. "And, I'm so glad you didn't cook!" He quickly made his way to the table, dropping down like a ton of bricks and immediately digging into the lo mein noodles in front of him.

Sam grinned, "Thanks Bobby. We're hungry and exhausted. I just finished up the trip. I'm like dead man walking right now."

"Sam's not used to a lot of driving." Dean muttered, "He'll get used to it though."

"I can't believe you let him drive your baby." Bobby mused, following them into the kitchen.

Dean shrugged, "I didn't want to drive straight through by myself. I'd have started seeing things or my eyeballs would've fallen out or something."

Sam laughed. "Just eat your food, Dean."

Dean gave Sam an irritated glare.

Bobby looked back and forth between them. "You two seem to be getting along better than when you left."

Sam smiled and Dean turned red.

Bobby put his hand up. He was instantly sorry he'd said anything. "Let's forget I said anything."

Dean nodded and slurped some more noodles.

Sam rolled his eyes. Dean ate like a child sometimes.

"I'm surprised you wanted to come back. I figured you two would've started finding hunts on your own by now." Bobby scratched the back of his neck. This was a bit awkward for him.

Sam looked up at the only father figure he'd ever have and said, "We've decided we want to do something about the institution."

"Like what?" Bobby sat down at the table with them.

"We're not sure yet. We just know we can't let those kids stay in there."

"Yeah." Bobby agreed. "I don't like it either. Only problem's going to be where they'll go when they get out."

"Doesn't matter. Anywhere's better than some piece of shit place where they perform tests and experiments on the kids." Dean muttered. "And, frankly, I don't care if we shoot the people full of holes and get the kids out that way. Speaking of which, they are human, right?"

Bobby nodded, "As far as I know. The place was started by a hunter with good intentions. He wanted to create a place for people who had been exposed to monsters to go to be safe. Like if a human was turned into a vampire…they could get them there before they started snacking on humans and maybe they could preserve most of their humanity over time."

"Oh, so a monster rehab center?" Dean asked. "That's fantastic. How'd it become what it is now?"

"I don't know. There seemed to be a bunch of kids in Sam's situation around that same time. There was an influx and it just kind of became known as a place for children. Never started out like that though."

Sam sighed, "I can see the good intention in there. Hunter probably thought he was doing the world a favor."

"It isn't the way to heaven that's paved with good intentions though." Dean replied.

Sam reached for a box of fried rice. "You mind if I take this upstairs and get ready for bed? I'm exhausted."

"Perfectly fine to me." Bobby answered.

Sam looked at Dean. He didn't want to make him uncomfortable by asking this in front of Bobby, but he wanted to know, "Will you join me in a little bit?"

Dean turned red, but nodded, "Yeah, Sam."

Bobby knew what that meant. Dean had definitely given up the fight. That hadn't lasted all that long after all.

Sam knew that Dean was going to kill him for his, but he bent down and gave Dean a really quick kiss on the cheek.

Dean smiled at him, even though he was clearly flustered and embarrassed.

Sam retreated to the bedroom.

Bobby looked over at Dean. "Well, it looks like you've softened in your old age."

Dean grunted.

Bobby smiled, "For what it's worth, I'm glad you two have each other now. I'm sorry everything happened under these circumstances, but it might be for the best. At least you don't have to be all hung up on the brother thing…got that out of the way at the beginning."

Dean shrugged, "I'm not completely over it all the time, but I realized that all we really have is each other. I mean, we have you…but it's different. We have each other and neither of us is willing to completely ditch the other. We're going to be in each other's lives and you know…it's okay to be happy. He's made me want more for myself. He makes me want happiness."

Bobby smiled. This was the happiest and most mature that Bobby had ever seen him. "I can't even begin to tell you how happy I am to hear you say that." And he really was happy. In fact, Bobby was ecstatic.


	14. Chapter 14

AN: Here it is! I hope that everyone likes how this ends up. I know I could've done more with this, but I have other projects that I want to work on. I'm so glad that so many people loved this! It means the world to me. I also wanted to make sure that I left it open enough, should I decide to write a sequel for this in the future. :)

For anyone who is interested, this story and my others, as well as a couple other stories not on this site, are posted to sinful-desire dot org. :) I will be posting there pretty much primarily. I may post an occasional story on here, but I find that my stuff is more fitting to their site. I just wanted everyone to know in case you don't see much from me for a while.

* * *

Chapter 14

As much as neither of them really wanted to get behind the wheel again so soon, they piled into their cars and the three of them headed off to Lawrence.

Bobby had decided that he needed to go with them. This was unfinished business for him too. He wished he'd done something about this when Sam had been sent there. There were some things he could have and probably should have done. Hell, if John were still alive, Bobby would've beaten the shit out of him for what he'd done to these brothers. But, Bobby was so glad that they were happy now.

Bobby decided he didn't want to ride with them because it would just be awkward for everyone. So, he made some sandwiches and packed them and some sodas into a cooler with some ice. "Got some snacks and drinks in the cooler for when you boys get hungry. We'll stop somewhere along the way to fill up and stretch our legs. And, you better not need to stop every hour to pee…"

Dean grumbled as he got behind the wheel. He wasn't in the mood. He wanted to stay curled up in bed with Sam all morning, but he wasn't able to do that. It had left a bitter taste in his mouth. He wondered when he'd become such a big cuddler.

Sam smiled at Dean as they got into the car. "Sorry we had to get up so fucking early this morning."

Dean shrugged, "I'd like to get this over with and I bet you would too. I'm sure you're not exactly jumping for joy at the idea of having to go back there."

Sam sighed, "Well, no, but at least this time I'll have you there with me."

Dean smiled, "That's right."

Sam reached for Dean's hand, holding it tightly in his own. Having Dean there gave him strength and made him feel better.

* * *

It was nearly seven hours later when they pulled into the parking lot of the institution. It looked like a mansion from the outside…a mansion with barbed wire fences around the outside. Shit. They got out of their cars and looked around.

Dean frowned, "Why did I expect to see more people around?"

Sam shrugged, "The kids really aren't allowed outside other than to go to school. Some aren't even allowed that."

"What do they do if they can't go to school?" Dean asked. "How did they learn?"

"If they were uncooperative then they'd bring a tutor in. Going to a regular school with regular kids your own age was a privilege. I had to earn it too." Sam explained. He shrugged, "We didn't really know any different."

"Didn't the other kids know where you grew up?"

"It was pretty much just thought of as an orphanage for troubled kids to everyone who didn't know the whole story." He shrugged, "None of us had people beating our lockers down to be our friends though. We were definitely the social outcasts."

Dean hated this. He reached for Sam's hand and squeezed it tightly. He wished he could take it all away.

Sam smiled down at Dean, "I'm okay, Dean. Things are okay now."

Dean nodded. He wanted to believe that, but nothing inside of him made him feel better about what had happened to his younger brother.

The three hunters cut, broke and jumped over the fences in their way. When they got to the front door they frowned to see that it was slightly ajar. Dean was the angriest and therefore pushed at the door before the other two. He stepped inside and pulled Sam close behind him, doing his best to shield Sam's body from anyone who might mean him some harm. Nobody was there. It was strange.

They looked at each other.

"Hello? Anybody here?!" Dean shouted.

There was no answer.

"Dean…" Bobby said. He was standing behind the door they'd just shut with a frown on his face. He bent down and wiped his hand into some yellow powder. He brought the powder to his nose and quickly pulled it away from his face. "Sulfur."

Sam looked at Dean. "Does that mean…?"

"Demons have been here."

"We need to scour the place. We should split up."

The lobby area was virtually at the center of the place. Dean nodded. "Okay Bobby, you go left and we'll go right. Have your phone handy. Call us if you need back-up."

They all knew that Sam should probably have gone on his own, being as that he knew the place the best, but the other two had been hunters longer. Besides that, Dean wasn't about to let Sam out of his sight. Not in this place anyway.

Bobby did a quick sweep of everything he could see at the lobby. He made a mental note to check the computers for anything useful at the end. He needed to see if anyone was alive in the building.

He turned the corner and walked down a long white corridor. It was bland and boring around this place. He pushed through a closed door and ended up in what appeared to be the cafeteria. He made his way into the kitchen and there…lying on the floor…were two members of the kitchen staff, dead and bloody. It appeared as if their deaths had been rather gruesome.

Bobby pulled out his phone and dialed Dean's number.

* * *

Sam and Dean checked a bunch of the bedrooms, but found no sign of anyone. They did, however, see sulfur on all the barred up windows. "This isn't good." Dean muttered.

"No." Sam said. "Looks like demons beat us to it."

They both wondered where the kids were…and if they'd already been used by the demons for their own evil deeds. Neither of them spoke their fears out loud, however.

That's when they got Bobby's phone call.

"Yeah?" Dean asked. He groaned when he heard Bobby's news. He hadn't been surprised though. "Okay, we'll be careful. You too, Bobby." He hung up the phone and looked at his brother. "Found two dead in the kitchen. Real bloody."

Sam had kind of figured that. "They probably killed all of the staff members who were here so that they could free the kids."

They checked every room in corridor B and then made their way to corridor D. Sam drew in his breath. "We weren't allowed down here. That's where they did the experiments."

Dean frowned, "Why don't you stay in the lobby and I'll go check it out?"

Sam shook his head from side to side, "No way. I'm not leaving you." He slipped his hand inside Dean's, a terrified look on his face.

Dean frowned and kissed Sam's face, "Okay, Sam. It's okay. I've got you."

Sam let Dean lead them down the corridor. Dean pushed into the first room he saw. It was an exam room. Shit. Inside the room were two staff members tied up and lying on exam tables. They were dead as doornails. Almost all of their blood had been drained out of them and was being contained by big glass containers. They looked a lot like huge glass vases.

Sam looked away. He buried his face in Dean's neck.

Dean ran his hand through Sam's hair, protectively. "Let's get out of here." He pulled Sam from the room and they went into the next room. It was another exam room…it looked much like the last. "Okay, this is great." Dean muttered.

There was a huge laboratory across the hallway. It looked like they had every ingredient for every spell imaginable, as well as body parts, and all kinds of hunting tools. He reached for one of the big bags of salt, "This'll come in handy."

Sam frowned. He was completely creeped out by the whole thing. But, at least they didn't find anyone dead in the room.

They came to the last room in the hallway. They were prepared for something even more horrifying than the last rooms they'd been through. Sam covered his eyes and Dean pushed in. The room was pitch black. There weren't any windows. Dean felt around for a switch and turned on the lights.

They both gasped at what they saw. It was a storage room. There were normal storage things in there, as well as a couple computers. But, along the back wall were boxes. Each box had a name on them.

"I wonder what's in them." Dean said.

Sam looked at Dean with an almost smile on his face, "I bet they're loaded up with whatever we came in here with."

Dean knew Sam was right. They immediately went looking for the Ws.

"Here it is!" Sam exclaimed. He reached for his box and pulled it off a shelf. It had about twenty-two years' worth of dust piled on it.

Dean wiped the dust off on his sleeve.

They tore into the box and started pulling out the contents.

Inside the box was a baby outfit, a bottle, a couple little toys, a blue stuffed bear, a blanket and a photo. Dean looked at the picture, "It's the four of us." His hand shook as he held the picture up for Sam to see.

Sam took the picture from Dean's hand and then looked up at the man he loved, "You're holding me."

Dean's eyes filled with tears and he nodded. He reached out to run his hand over the incredibly soft fabric of the light blue baby blanket. He unfolded it and looked at it. There was something sewn onto it. Upon closer inspection the name 'Sammy' could be seen across the right corner of the blanket. "Sammy." Dean whispered.

Sam looked at his brother and noticed that Dean was lost in his own mind.

There was something about that blanket. It took Dean back to a much more innocent time in his life. He remembered the moment that their mother first wrapped Sam up in that blanket.

_It had been a gift from a distant relative that Dean hadn't known. He remembered reaching out his little finger and tracing over the letters. "Sammy." He'd said with a smile. He tilted his head up and kissed that tiny baby on his forehead and said, "I love you, Sammy."_

_That sweet, innocent baby had looked back and him and made a little noise, a smile on his face. _

_Little Dean had known that he would always look out for and love that sweet little baby brother of his._

"What is it, Dean?" Sam asked. He wanted to know what was going through Dean's mind.

Sam's voice brought Dean out of his stupor. He looked up at Sam with glassy, watery eyes and whispered, "I remember."

Sam smiled and reached for his lover. "What do you remember?"

"You and me…when you first got this blanket. How I kissed you and told you I loved you." Those tears fell from Dean's eyes and rolled down his cheeks. "How could I have forgotten?"

Sam shook his head, his arms wrapping tightly around Dean's body, "Dad made you forget. But, dad's gone now. It's okay to remember now." He peppered Dean's face with kisses. "Everything is going to be okay now."

Dean reached up and took Sam's face in his hands. "We're both so damaged." He whispered.

"That's okay. We can heal each other."

Dean nodded, he buried his face in Sam's neck and fisted Sam's shirt. "I don't ever want to lose you again. I can't."

"It's okay, Dean. Everything will be okay."

"I don't know if I even want to keep hunting." Dean whispered, "I don't like the risks."

Sam's head cocked to the side a bit. "What about the demon? Don't you want to find him and kill him?"

"Yes, but it won't bring mom back. It won't bring dad back. It won't change what happened to us. Having you here, safe and back with me again, it's all I care about. It's all that I need." Dean had never thought he'd say something like that.

"Okay Dean. If that's what you truly want then that's what we'll do. I don't care; I just want to be with you."

Dean smiled, "I'll give it some thought. But, it's nice to feel like I have options for once."

Sam smiled. They packed the box back up and left that horrible corridor with a newfound pep in their steps.

* * *

They met back up with Bobby and they checked the rest of the place over. It was clear that all the kids who had been living there weren't there anymore. All the workers who had been on duty were dead. There wasn't really anything else to determine from the site.

The computers were full of important documents and information about each of the kids who had been living there. Dean printed out anything he thought would be important and then Sam wiped the hard drives.

Once they got outside they all looked at each other. "What are we going to do about the place?" Sam asked.

"We've gotta torch it." Bobby explained.

"But…" Sam started.

Dean nodded in agreement with Bobby, "It needs to be done. We don't need this place starting back up and we don't need anyone figuring out about what's really out there."

"Okay Dean." Sam said.

"Go get the accelerant out of the car." Dean told his brother.

Sam took his box of baby stuff and went to the car.

Bobby studied Dean's face. "You okay?"

Dean nodded, "Yeah. I think I'm going to be fine."

Bobby smiled, "Good."

Sam came back with the accelerant and they tossed it onto the building, trying to be as discreet as possible. They lit the place on fire and then ran to their cars. They didn't want to get caught.

Sam and Dean waved to Bobby, and yelled to him that they'd be in touch. Bobby waved back and called them idjits.

Dean laughed as he got into the car with Sam.

Sam looked at his brother. "So what are we going to do now?"

Dean smiled, "Whatever we want. From now on, it's all going to be just about you and me." He reached for Sam's hand, threading his fingers with his brother's.

Sam smiled back at him. He was ready for wherever life would take them as long as they were together.


	15. Author's Note

Author's Note

I just wanted to let everyone know that our troll has struck again. She's got another new name it's ladygodess27

The other accounts that I know of are: deangirl27 and deangirl4ever. Her original name was ebonylovessamanddean or something like that, but that one was removed, I believe.

*She likes the number 27 for some reason…could be her age, but I'm thinking it's more likely her IQ. Anyone who's had a run-in with her should know why I say that. I don't mean to be rude, but there's only so much bashing a person can take (that they can't respond to because private messages have been turned off) before they start lashing out. This is my only means of defense against her, since fanfiction doesn't seem to be doing anything about her.

If you get messages or reviews from her and are upset by them please report them. We have to stick together. She is targeting wincest writers and readers like some kind of hate crime.

I'm sure she'll create a new account so she can bash me once again in response to this, but I'm ready for it…she's so predictable.

I would like to share the PM she sent me today so that you can all understand what it is that some of us are dealing with. We have to take a stand against this and ban together.

Subject: dumb bitch

Like i said your still a dumb bitch and wincest is wrong and all your fics are soo stuipd too. And cas bashing is great and cas is crap too! Your a dumb bitch and you should stop writing cause you suck! And your a dumb bitch too hope you die troll your nothin and like i said im always right and your sick! The best spn pairings are dean/ofcs and sam/ofcs too! Bye retared troll!

Jared and Jensen may not be wincest shippers, but they would not be impressed by her at all. She's an illiterate twit who needs to be banned from fanfiction permanently. Until that happens I will continue to keep all of you aware of the situation.

I love how she reads the stories and reviews multiple reviews with her troll-like spam messages and then claims that she doesn't read/hates wincest. Huh…me thinks she doth protest too much!

*Stay tuned for more ridiculous reviews and PMs that showcase her inability to string a sentence together with proper grammar and punctuation. But, yet I'm the one who can't write…


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